Post by Verasque on May 9, 2009 21:54:14 GMT 10
Title: The Best Advice
Rating: PG
Summary: Because they’re too proud, too scared and too hopeless to just buck up and say it out loud.
Note: This came out sounding more parody-ish than I originally wanted. But whatever, their younger days always seemed fun ;D
Dear Jon,
I hate it when you pat my head. Not because it makes me feel like a pet (well actually this is a reason—but not the main one anyway) and not because it clearly highlights the offending difference in our heights (which I resent, you giant, now go put a brick on your head).
But because it blocks the damn way each time I want to lean up and smash your lips with mine in order to silence your annoying, arrogant yapping.
So please, stop patting my head. It’ll do us good. I promise.
Your concerned squire,
Alanna
-
Alanna,
Please close your mouth each time you chew. You look like you’re devouring a horse.
Maybe everyone else has been too scared to tell you: but you have horrible table manners. It’s just not right that one minute you’re gracefully wielding Lightning or being admirably brave, and the next you’re tearing into your dinner like a wild and frightening baboon. You’ll not only appall the Scanran ambassador, but blind his children for life too. So please, stop chewing with your mouth open.
For image’s sake, I don’t want it to be messy when you devour my heart.
Worried,
Jonathan
-
Dear Jon,
You should always wear a shirt no matter what.
Are you incredibly stupid, wishing for death by mosquitos or really just that conceited? It gets disturbing when you prance around shirtless with the connecting door open. I don’t care if it makes sleeping less obstructive, or if it makes it easier to cool yourself down during the summer.
All I care about is sleeping peacefully and not finding myself in trouble with my Lord Provost for assaulting the Crown Prince in his sleep. I would like to get my shield without a hitch.
Please be more considerate,
Alanna
Rating: PG
Summary: Because they’re too proud, too scared and too hopeless to just buck up and say it out loud.
Note: This came out sounding more parody-ish than I originally wanted. But whatever, their younger days always seemed fun ;D
Dear Jon,
I hate it when you pat my head. Not because it makes me feel like a pet (well actually this is a reason—but not the main one anyway) and not because it clearly highlights the offending difference in our heights (which I resent, you giant, now go put a brick on your head).
But because it blocks the damn way each time I want to lean up and smash your lips with mine in order to silence your annoying, arrogant yapping.
So please, stop patting my head. It’ll do us good. I promise.
Your concerned squire,
Alanna
-
Alanna,
Please close your mouth each time you chew. You look like you’re devouring a horse.
Maybe everyone else has been too scared to tell you: but you have horrible table manners. It’s just not right that one minute you’re gracefully wielding Lightning or being admirably brave, and the next you’re tearing into your dinner like a wild and frightening baboon. You’ll not only appall the Scanran ambassador, but blind his children for life too. So please, stop chewing with your mouth open.
For image’s sake, I don’t want it to be messy when you devour my heart.
Worried,
Jonathan
-
Dear Jon,
You should always wear a shirt no matter what.
Are you incredibly stupid, wishing for death by mosquitos or really just that conceited? It gets disturbing when you prance around shirtless with the connecting door open. I don’t care if it makes sleeping less obstructive, or if it makes it easier to cool yourself down during the summer.
All I care about is sleeping peacefully and not finding myself in trouble with my Lord Provost for assaulting the Crown Prince in his sleep. I would like to get my shield without a hitch.
Please be more considerate,
Alanna