Post by Aris Dalton on Feb 15, 2010 1:01:52 GMT 10
Title: Things I Am Not Allowed To Do In Tortall: The List
Summary: Ever wanted to know what is not allowed in Tortall? Well, here's something to help you out!
Rating: PG for some crude humor
Genre: Parody
Warnings: This is the list. If you're looking for the spin-off story, it's elsewhere.
Author's Note: I, Cinnia Aine, alias Aris Dalton, proclaim rules one through twenty-nine and forty as having been created my me, although not owned by me due to the fact that they are for a fandom. I acknowledge that rules thirty through thirty-nine were created by members of Goldenlake and were not created by me. I now will allow anyone of the Tortall fandom to make their own TIANATDIT rules, provided that they don’t use the numbers or the rules already created. (As in, no one can use the numbers one through forty to number their rules and they can’t repeat what is said in rules one through forty.)
* This inspired the short-lived story version of TIANATDIT.
** I made a one-sentence story about this one, submitted in Goldenlake’s 2009 One Sentence Week.
† Created by wordy of Goldenlake.
†† Created by Katty of Goldenlake.
‡ Created by aniloverl of Goldenlake.
‡‡ Created by peroxidepirate of Goldenlake.
1. I will not “introduce” Aragog to Alanna.
- Or his wife Morag.
- Or Shelob.
- Or Ungoliant.
- Even if it’d be funny.
2. I will not ask Mithros if he is related to Zeus.
- Nor will I accuse him of incest with the Great Goddess.
3. I will not ask Daine if she is Dain's twin.
4. Joren is not Draco Malfoy. I will not accuse him of continuum crossing.
5. I will not slide down the banister rail of the Great Stair.
6. It is Not Nice to set the PPC on Alanna, telling them that she is a Mary Sue.
- Even if some think she technically qualifies as one.
7. I will not repeatedly bring Roger back to life, just to watch Alanna kill him again.
8. I will not call Numair a “cradle robber”. Frying to a crisp and then getting set upon by rabid wolves is Not Fun.
9. I will not attempt to make the Dogs of the Provost’s Guard sick by giving them chocolate.
- Nor will I walk into the Mantel and Pullet at their break time and shout, “Nobody move! This is a robbery!”
10. The Badger is a figure of great knowledge and wisdom. I will treat him with respect. I will not glomp or snuggle him, and I most definitely will not run around following him and saying, "Badger, badger, badger," over and over again.
11. I am not allowed to spike Beka’s barley water with hotblood wine.
- Nor am I allowed to spike Kel, Daine, or Alanna’s drinks with hotblood wine.
12. The Dominion Jewel is not a toy, pawning item, or personal hairpiece. I will not treat it as such.
13. No matter how cute they are, I will treat the darkings with respect and only glomp them when they allow me to.
14. I am not allowed to ask Ganiel to send my least favorite characters nightmares.
15. I will not ask Uusoae if she is the essence of the Sue color spectrum. *
16. I am not allowed to mix up my Yamani with my fake Japanese in front of the Yamani delegation.
17. There is no such thing as the “Save the Female Tauroses” organization and I am not its founder.
18. No matter how big of a Discworld fan I am, my Gift is not octarine colored.
19. The use of magic upon Liam is prohibited.
20. It isn’t right to haze the new pages by telling them that true nobility can lie to a living griffin.
21. I am not allowed to set off blazebalm in the privy holes. **
22. Gullible new recruits to the Queen’s Riders probably shouldn’t be told that the first recruits get to ride unicorns and the last recruits get to ride killer unicorns.
23. I will not use meditation time as a chance to write “Kick Me” on the back of everyone’s shirts.
24. I am not allowed to mute the Palace bells with super glue.
- Nor am I allowed to put superglue on the benches of the mess hall right before suppertime.
25. Mixing blazebalm and bloodrain is strictly forbidden.
26. I will not put truthdrops in various characters’/lust objects’ drinks and ask embarrassing personal questions.
27. While visiting Persopolis, it is probably not best to loudly proclaim that you were blessed by the Ysandir.
28. Never, ever mix up Alanna with Darsa the Shade from Eragon.
29. I will not try to reanimate all the dinosaurs in museums.
30. I will not create a conspiracy theory that Francis faked his own death and is now living happily in Tusaine. †
31. I'm not allowed to sacrifice royal pages to the Cult of Roger. ††
32. I'm not allowed to announce that King Jonathan was the illegitimate son of Roger, and claim the throne as my own. ††
33. I'm not allowed to put all of the Own's horses in their barracks and blame it on the Riders. ‡
34. I'm not allowed to convince the Long Lake Pack to rebel against the crown. ‡
35. I will not teepee the Grand Ball Room. ‡
36. I will not steal the Dominion Jewel. ‡
37. I will not tell Aly that she is having eggs. ‡
38.I will not make out with Ganiel in my dreams. ‡
39. I am not allowed to tease the Wildmage because Dain(e) is a boy's name. ‡‡
40. I am not allowed to do any of these things in the world of Tortall.
Summary: Ever wanted to know what is not allowed in Tortall? Well, here's something to help you out!
Rating: PG for some crude humor
Genre: Parody
Warnings: This is the list. If you're looking for the spin-off story, it's elsewhere.
Author's Note: I, Cinnia Aine, alias Aris Dalton, proclaim rules one through twenty-nine and forty as having been created my me, although not owned by me due to the fact that they are for a fandom. I acknowledge that rules thirty through thirty-nine were created by members of Goldenlake and were not created by me. I now will allow anyone of the Tortall fandom to make their own TIANATDIT rules, provided that they don’t use the numbers or the rules already created. (As in, no one can use the numbers one through forty to number their rules and they can’t repeat what is said in rules one through forty.)
* This inspired the short-lived story version of TIANATDIT.
** I made a one-sentence story about this one, submitted in Goldenlake’s 2009 One Sentence Week.
† Created by wordy of Goldenlake.
†† Created by Katty of Goldenlake.
‡ Created by aniloverl of Goldenlake.
‡‡ Created by peroxidepirate of Goldenlake.
***
1. I will not “introduce” Aragog to Alanna.
- Or his wife Morag.
- Or Shelob.
- Or Ungoliant.
- Even if it’d be funny.
2. I will not ask Mithros if he is related to Zeus.
- Nor will I accuse him of incest with the Great Goddess.
3. I will not ask Daine if she is Dain's twin.
4. Joren is not Draco Malfoy. I will not accuse him of continuum crossing.
5. I will not slide down the banister rail of the Great Stair.
6. It is Not Nice to set the PPC on Alanna, telling them that she is a Mary Sue.
- Even if some think she technically qualifies as one.
7. I will not repeatedly bring Roger back to life, just to watch Alanna kill him again.
8. I will not call Numair a “cradle robber”. Frying to a crisp and then getting set upon by rabid wolves is Not Fun.
9. I will not attempt to make the Dogs of the Provost’s Guard sick by giving them chocolate.
- Nor will I walk into the Mantel and Pullet at their break time and shout, “Nobody move! This is a robbery!”
10. The Badger is a figure of great knowledge and wisdom. I will treat him with respect. I will not glomp or snuggle him, and I most definitely will not run around following him and saying, "Badger, badger, badger," over and over again.
11. I am not allowed to spike Beka’s barley water with hotblood wine.
- Nor am I allowed to spike Kel, Daine, or Alanna’s drinks with hotblood wine.
12. The Dominion Jewel is not a toy, pawning item, or personal hairpiece. I will not treat it as such.
13. No matter how cute they are, I will treat the darkings with respect and only glomp them when they allow me to.
14. I am not allowed to ask Ganiel to send my least favorite characters nightmares.
15. I will not ask Uusoae if she is the essence of the Sue color spectrum. *
16. I am not allowed to mix up my Yamani with my fake Japanese in front of the Yamani delegation.
17. There is no such thing as the “Save the Female Tauroses” organization and I am not its founder.
18. No matter how big of a Discworld fan I am, my Gift is not octarine colored.
19. The use of magic upon Liam is prohibited.
20. It isn’t right to haze the new pages by telling them that true nobility can lie to a living griffin.
21. I am not allowed to set off blazebalm in the privy holes. **
22. Gullible new recruits to the Queen’s Riders probably shouldn’t be told that the first recruits get to ride unicorns and the last recruits get to ride killer unicorns.
23. I will not use meditation time as a chance to write “Kick Me” on the back of everyone’s shirts.
24. I am not allowed to mute the Palace bells with super glue.
- Nor am I allowed to put superglue on the benches of the mess hall right before suppertime.
25. Mixing blazebalm and bloodrain is strictly forbidden.
26. I will not put truthdrops in various characters’/lust objects’ drinks and ask embarrassing personal questions.
27. While visiting Persopolis, it is probably not best to loudly proclaim that you were blessed by the Ysandir.
28. Never, ever mix up Alanna with Darsa the Shade from Eragon.
29. I will not try to reanimate all the dinosaurs in museums.
30. I will not create a conspiracy theory that Francis faked his own death and is now living happily in Tusaine. †
31. I'm not allowed to sacrifice royal pages to the Cult of Roger. ††
32. I'm not allowed to announce that King Jonathan was the illegitimate son of Roger, and claim the throne as my own. ††
33. I'm not allowed to put all of the Own's horses in their barracks and blame it on the Riders. ‡
34. I'm not allowed to convince the Long Lake Pack to rebel against the crown. ‡
35. I will not teepee the Grand Ball Room. ‡
36. I will not steal the Dominion Jewel. ‡
37. I will not tell Aly that she is having eggs. ‡
38.I will not make out with Ganiel in my dreams. ‡
39. I am not allowed to tease the Wildmage because Dain(e) is a boy's name. ‡‡
40. I am not allowed to do any of these things in the world of Tortall.