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Post by devilinthedetails on Nov 4, 2021 8:11:21 GMT 10
Title: Lonely Rating: PG-13 for discussion of sexuality (or asexuality, to be more precise). Word Count: 46 Summary: Kel’s parents worry she will be lonely. Notes: Over time, I’ve had an increasing awareness and discovery of myself as an asexual person so Tammy’s announcement of an asexual Kel does mean a lot to me since Kel is my favorite Tamora Pierce heroine (and probably the one most like me in temperament). That being said, I wanted to write some pieces exploring what being asexual might mean for Kel. Needless to say, these pieces are very personal to me, and it is pretty big for me to “come out” officially as asexual on this site. Or really anywhere else. Although I do hope that these pieces can speak to a larger audience than just myself, of course, which is why I’m sharing them here.
Lonely
“We just don’t want you to be lonely,” Papa said for both her parents when Kel told them she would never fall in love, marry, or have children of her own body who weren’t adopted like Tobe, children of passion and desire she would never feel.
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Post by mistrali on Nov 4, 2021 15:33:43 GMT 10
Congrats on coming out as ace, even just on Glake Welcome to the club (if I can even say that, being aro - haha)! Your sentence does a great job of showing the nuance to this & capturing both sides of the picture. Good choice of POV, as well. I feel like Kel and Sandry would both have a fantastic support network around them - I can’t imagine their immediate families being anything other than supportive. Ilane and Piers are obviously being genuine in their request, but at the same time it is hard for those close to us, no matter how well-intentioned, to quite get their heads around it. Something is always lost in translation both ways, I think. Poor Kel is up against… whatever the sexual equivalent of amatonormativity is. Not that she’s any stranger to having to march to the beat of her own drum.
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Post by Rosie on Nov 4, 2021 23:57:39 GMT 10
Delighted that you think of Glake as a safe space, and congratulations! I like the slightly lost-in-translation feel that mistrali mentioned, too. I also like seeing Piers featured, as we get so much more of Ilane in canon and fandom.
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Post by devilinthedetails on Nov 12, 2021 6:11:28 GMT 10
mistrali, thank you as always for reading and for commenting. And apologies for my delayed response. I blame it on life choosing to go all crazy on me over the past few days, haha! Thanks for the congrats on coming out as ace. It means a lot to get support and affirmation, especially as I'm trying to find the courage to come out in more places and spaces. And I'm happy to be part of the club with you! I'm so glad that you felt this sentence did a great job of showing the nuance because it can be so hard to try to capture all that nuance and emotion in one sentence and to be afraid the sentence can't do it justice. I think for a lot of people their romantic and/or sexual relationships are so important to them that they find it difficult to understand how a person wouldn't feel lonely without those romantic and/or sexual relationships but a lot of times those people just don't get how if there isn't a desire for those romantic and/or sexual relationships, the loneliness or sense of missing something won't be there either for the most part. I think it's sort of the longing that creates the sense of loneliness so if there isn't that longing, there won't be the loneliness. I think both Kel and Sandry are lucky in that they have loving and accepting families and friends to support them. I really believe that Ilane and Piers want Kel to be happy and to be herself, so I think with time they will come to understand that she won't be lonely being herself especially if she has them to love and support her. Her loneliness would more come about if she wasn't supported by her friends and family in her identity. I think even in the modern world with more advanced and nuanced terminology to describe sexuality and asexuality, there can still be a lot of meaning lost in translation, as you say, and I think even more could be lost in translation in a society like Tortall's where there probably is not a precise word to describe asexuality in people. I think it's probably hard for Kel to really put a word on her identity ("asexual") when that word likely doesn't exist in her society at all, and without that word to grasp onto, it is likewise hard for Ilane and Piers to understand exactly what Kel means. I think poor Kel is definitely up against that idea of sexuality as a default but she will just keep marching to the beat of her own drum as she always had, and I think in time, Ilane and Piers will be proud to see that their daughter isn't lonely but happily and wonderfully herself. Rosie, aww, thank you for the kind words of support! It really means a lot to have Glake be as accepting and welcoming a place as it is, because coming out is a big step for me, and to have it happen in safe spaces at first makes that big step a lot less nerve-wracking and more satisfying! I'm so glad that you like that lost in translation feel because even in the modern world with present-day terminology, it can sometimes be a struggle for me to find words to explain my identity, so I can only imagine how much more complicated it would be in a society like Tortall for someone like Kel to try to come out to her parents as it were. I really liked being able to put the spotlight on Piers for a bit because I think he is a great father figure to Kel. Kel has some really quite awesome father figures between Piers and Raoul, and that's always something I've appreciated about the POTS books. Ilane is wonderful too, but as you say, I think she gets a bit more time to shine in canon and in fandom, so it was nice to be able to showcase Piers as a father speaking to his daughter.
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