hawksandfeathers
Soldier
Collector of Queenscove's Better Ideas
by wordy
Posts: 995
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Post by hawksandfeathers on Apr 30, 2013 10:53:42 GMT 10
Title: Unexpected Rating: PG Word Count: 193 Summary: Neal is surprised. Pairing: Neal/Yuki Round/Fight: 1D Notes: C'mon NY supporters! We can do this! Also, I love all you B/R supporters as well, of course.
"What is that?" said Yuki, eyeing a strange mash of meat, bread and mustard-seed spread on Neal's delicate Yamani plate. Neal looked up from his meal, surprised. "You never tried one on progress?" Thick, yellow sauce dripped onto his napkin. "I'm not sure I want to," she replied, wrinkling her nose. "Maybe I'll taste a bit of yours." Her husband ripped off a piece obligingly, but she hesitated. He glanced at her. "I know, it's very Tortallan," he added apologetically. With a suddenness that startled him, she took a delicate bite out of the bread he was holding and chewed it thoughtfully. She finished her mouthful, swallowing with relish. "No, it's perfectly toothsome." She was grinning now. "Yuki," said Neal, standing up. His mouth was twitching but he wasn't quite losing his incredulous expression. "Did you just lick my finger?" "Mmm," she responded, turning to the sink. She filled a glass of water and passed it to him. "Oh, now you're getting all businesslike." His hands wrung involuntarily. "I don't have patients anytime soon." His emerald eyes implored her, pleading. Yuki's own eyes crackled wickedly as she adjusted her kimono. "In that case…"
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Post by max on Apr 30, 2013 14:44:19 GMT 10
This is kind of adorable. I love the way you wrote the dynamics between them.
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Post by ubiquitous on Apr 30, 2013 22:05:27 GMT 10
This is so cute! (I think you may have some paragraphing issues - a couple of lines look partly chopped off )
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Elsceetaria
Knight
May or May Not be a Little Teapot
Prone to brain fail. Pres CRTL + ALT + DEL to restart.
Posts: 2,281
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Post by Elsceetaria on May 2, 2013 2:57:39 GMT 10
This is so cute and adorable. I love the dynamics between them.
(I agree with Isha. It appears as though some of the formatting went wonky)
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Post by mistrali on May 3, 2013 10:17:29 GMT 10
"I know, it's very Tortallan," he added apologetically. This is so Neal! And the way you described hot dogs fts the scene very well. Yuki's reluctance to try it is also endearing.
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hawksandfeathers
Soldier
Collector of Queenscove's Better Ideas
by wordy
Posts: 995
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Post by hawksandfeathers on May 3, 2013 10:24:29 GMT 10
Aw, thanks mistrali!
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Post by wordy on May 3, 2013 11:05:52 GMT 10
Ah, so adorable! You really captured both of their humour in this.
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Griff
Knight
Deputy Mischief Maker
Posts: 2,156
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Post by Griff on Jun 3, 2013 15:00:10 GMT 10
She's just helping you stay tidy, Neal! I don't see what you're getting all flustered about...
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Muse
Knight
Official Rogerfic Curator
Junior Overlord
Posts: 2,160
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Post by Muse on Jun 4, 2013 12:50:25 GMT 10
It took me a while to get that this was a hot-dog; maybe I'm not from Tortall.... but I love the back and forth that they have, and how Neal's a little softer around Yuki, and she's trying something a little out of her comfort zone. It's things like this that make them work for me
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hawksandfeathers
Soldier
Collector of Queenscove's Better Ideas
by wordy
Posts: 995
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Post by hawksandfeathers on Jun 14, 2013 5:08:27 GMT 10
max Thank you! I adore your writing, so I'm really excited to get such a sweet comment from you! ubiquitous Thanks! Yeah, sometimes I have trouble with the formatting Elsceetaria Appreciate it! I'll get around to fixing it one day wordy Thanks! Griff lol. Muse I tried to make it as least obvious as possible, maybe too subtle then! Thank you!
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