Post by Griff on Dec 23, 2012 5:27:15 GMT 10
To: Kypriotha
Message: I wanted hilarious hijinks. They wanted to be maudlin and whining. This is what happens when you get both.
From: Griff
Title: The Trouble with Squires
Rating: PG
Word Count: 937
Prompt: PotS pages/squires having fun/relaxing
Summary: Finally given time of her own, Kel wants to relax. Unfortunately, given time of their own, the boys manage something else altogether.
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Kel enjoyed riding with the Own. They were good men, the missions were important, and she learned valuable skills every time they rode out, but sometimes, a girl just needed a nice long bath. Coated in grime, blood, and the odd colored stain she tried not to think about too strongly, Kel decided she was that girl.
That’s why she was going to kill Neal.
“Kel!” He sang through the door, knocking insistently. “I know you’re in there. I just came from the stables and your beast almost bit me. I think he’s starting to like me. Open up, I need to talk to you.”
Lalasa, who was an angel and certainly didn’t have to be here or fetching her a bath while Kel was too sore to so much as bend over, gave her a patient smile and shooed her out of sight before she cracked open the door. “Squire Keladry is in disposed, Squire Nealan. I suggest you try again later. Or in the morning, preferable.”
“Indisposed,” Kel heard Neal mull suspiciously. “That’s a very polite way of saying she doesn’t want to see me.”
“It is a very polite way of saying Squire Keladry is otherwise occupied,” Lalasa danced seamlessly in front of the door as the mop of Neal’s head craned too and fro, trying to catch a glimpse of Kel’s room.
“Is she naked?”
Kel sighed and pinched her nose, vowing to every god she knew, Tortallan and Yamani, that when she was finished she was going to hunt him down and force feed him every vegetable the kitchen had left from dinner. She distinctly remembered he loathed peas. The kitchen always had peas.
“Because,” Neal continued, as if this were a perfectly normal request, “if she’s not naked, this really is important.” Lalasa opened her mouth, but Neal barreled forward, leaning into her room as far as Lalasa would let him. “Kel! Are you naked in there? Because, if you’re not, Seaver is missing, Faleron has a broken nose, and I think Merric’s about to challenge Sir Dalmot for his cousin’s honor if Seaver doesn’t come out of whichever dark corner he’s hiding in and do it himself. Challenge Sir Dalmot, not challenge Dalmot for Faleron’s honor. I don’t think Seaver much cares about Faleron’s honor. Honestly, I don’t think Faleron much cares about his honor, but you know how touchy Merric gets about these things. So, if you’re not naked, this would be an excellent time for you to come with me.”
That was it. Kel marched to the door and threw it open, glowering openly at her gangly friend.
“Oh, there you are,” Neal said. The he cocked his head and pulled a piece of dubious red slime out of her hair and gave it a sniff. By his reaction, it smelled revolting. “Dear Gods, what is that?”
“Neal. I have been riding for two weeks. I am tired, I am sore, and if Faleron’s broken nose is the only thing keeping me from my steaming tub, I can’t say I rightly care about Sir Dalmont fussing up his honor. Let Merric or Seaver or whoever wants challenge him. Getting whipped won’t kill them.”
“Well, actually,” Neal shrugged bashfully, “it rather might. Which is why I’m here, you see! You can talk to them. They listen to you! Dalmont has a nasty reputation and, sure, I might be slightly exaggerating the expectation of their demise, but I have on good authority he’s got a nasty reputation for maiming his challengers because he damn well feels like it. Fingers, hands, sword through the thigh. That sort of thing.” He sighed and his usual good humor slid away. “I’m sorry about your bath, but this is serious. Last knight who challenged Dalmont ended up losing his right leg below the knee. I heard my father talking about it.”
Blast them all.
“What happened,” Kel caved, giving her tub a mournful backwards glance as she stepped out of her room.
“Seaver was sweet on a girl, never did get her name, but he arrived around third bell and apparently wanted to give her a midwinter present before she left for the season. Only, when he showed up, Dalmont was there. Seaver didn’t do anything, but Dalmont must have caught on to what he wanted and started bullying him about for it. Apparently, he and this lady were recently betrothed – Seaver had no way of knowing. He tried to leave – you know Seaver, he’s not going to chase a woman who’s spoken for. There was that nasty business with his cousin and the Tyran merchant a few years back, so he’s sensitive about that.
“Anyway,” Neal shrugged, “someone told Faleron, who tried to play peacemaker and ended up socked in the face and called a dandy, while Seaver fled and found Merric before disappearing. Not in his rooms, not in the baths, not in the dining halls, not in the stables – his horse is here, too. Faleron said he was looking pretty bad and he was worried about him. At least, I think that’s what he said. He wasn’t the easiest to understand, what with the blood and the swelling, but I’m pretty sure I caught the gist.”
“What am I supposed to do about this?” Kel asked warily, absently thinking of all the trouble that could have happened while Neal was pounding on his door.
“Why, Kel!” Neal exclaimed happily, slinging his arm around her shoulders. “That’s what you’re here for – Surprise us!”
Message: I wanted hilarious hijinks. They wanted to be maudlin and whining. This is what happens when you get both.
From: Griff
Title: The Trouble with Squires
Rating: PG
Word Count: 937
Prompt: PotS pages/squires having fun/relaxing
Summary: Finally given time of her own, Kel wants to relax. Unfortunately, given time of their own, the boys manage something else altogether.
-
-
-
Kel enjoyed riding with the Own. They were good men, the missions were important, and she learned valuable skills every time they rode out, but sometimes, a girl just needed a nice long bath. Coated in grime, blood, and the odd colored stain she tried not to think about too strongly, Kel decided she was that girl.
That’s why she was going to kill Neal.
“Kel!” He sang through the door, knocking insistently. “I know you’re in there. I just came from the stables and your beast almost bit me. I think he’s starting to like me. Open up, I need to talk to you.”
Lalasa, who was an angel and certainly didn’t have to be here or fetching her a bath while Kel was too sore to so much as bend over, gave her a patient smile and shooed her out of sight before she cracked open the door. “Squire Keladry is in disposed, Squire Nealan. I suggest you try again later. Or in the morning, preferable.”
“Indisposed,” Kel heard Neal mull suspiciously. “That’s a very polite way of saying she doesn’t want to see me.”
“It is a very polite way of saying Squire Keladry is otherwise occupied,” Lalasa danced seamlessly in front of the door as the mop of Neal’s head craned too and fro, trying to catch a glimpse of Kel’s room.
“Is she naked?”
Kel sighed and pinched her nose, vowing to every god she knew, Tortallan and Yamani, that when she was finished she was going to hunt him down and force feed him every vegetable the kitchen had left from dinner. She distinctly remembered he loathed peas. The kitchen always had peas.
“Because,” Neal continued, as if this were a perfectly normal request, “if she’s not naked, this really is important.” Lalasa opened her mouth, but Neal barreled forward, leaning into her room as far as Lalasa would let him. “Kel! Are you naked in there? Because, if you’re not, Seaver is missing, Faleron has a broken nose, and I think Merric’s about to challenge Sir Dalmot for his cousin’s honor if Seaver doesn’t come out of whichever dark corner he’s hiding in and do it himself. Challenge Sir Dalmot, not challenge Dalmot for Faleron’s honor. I don’t think Seaver much cares about Faleron’s honor. Honestly, I don’t think Faleron much cares about his honor, but you know how touchy Merric gets about these things. So, if you’re not naked, this would be an excellent time for you to come with me.”
That was it. Kel marched to the door and threw it open, glowering openly at her gangly friend.
“Oh, there you are,” Neal said. The he cocked his head and pulled a piece of dubious red slime out of her hair and gave it a sniff. By his reaction, it smelled revolting. “Dear Gods, what is that?”
“Neal. I have been riding for two weeks. I am tired, I am sore, and if Faleron’s broken nose is the only thing keeping me from my steaming tub, I can’t say I rightly care about Sir Dalmont fussing up his honor. Let Merric or Seaver or whoever wants challenge him. Getting whipped won’t kill them.”
“Well, actually,” Neal shrugged bashfully, “it rather might. Which is why I’m here, you see! You can talk to them. They listen to you! Dalmont has a nasty reputation and, sure, I might be slightly exaggerating the expectation of their demise, but I have on good authority he’s got a nasty reputation for maiming his challengers because he damn well feels like it. Fingers, hands, sword through the thigh. That sort of thing.” He sighed and his usual good humor slid away. “I’m sorry about your bath, but this is serious. Last knight who challenged Dalmont ended up losing his right leg below the knee. I heard my father talking about it.”
Blast them all.
“What happened,” Kel caved, giving her tub a mournful backwards glance as she stepped out of her room.
“Seaver was sweet on a girl, never did get her name, but he arrived around third bell and apparently wanted to give her a midwinter present before she left for the season. Only, when he showed up, Dalmont was there. Seaver didn’t do anything, but Dalmont must have caught on to what he wanted and started bullying him about for it. Apparently, he and this lady were recently betrothed – Seaver had no way of knowing. He tried to leave – you know Seaver, he’s not going to chase a woman who’s spoken for. There was that nasty business with his cousin and the Tyran merchant a few years back, so he’s sensitive about that.
“Anyway,” Neal shrugged, “someone told Faleron, who tried to play peacemaker and ended up socked in the face and called a dandy, while Seaver fled and found Merric before disappearing. Not in his rooms, not in the baths, not in the dining halls, not in the stables – his horse is here, too. Faleron said he was looking pretty bad and he was worried about him. At least, I think that’s what he said. He wasn’t the easiest to understand, what with the blood and the swelling, but I’m pretty sure I caught the gist.”
“What am I supposed to do about this?” Kel asked warily, absently thinking of all the trouble that could have happened while Neal was pounding on his door.
“Why, Kel!” Neal exclaimed happily, slinging his arm around her shoulders. “That’s what you’re here for – Surprise us!”