Elsceetaria
Knight
May or May Not be a Little Teapot
Prone to brain fail. Pres CRTL + ALT + DEL to restart.
Posts: 2,281
|
Post by Elsceetaria on Dec 5, 2011 7:59:41 GMT 10
To: Elven
Message: Merry ficmas! I hope you like this.
From: Elscy
Title: Dedication Rating: PG Words: 211 Wishlist Item: 4. Alan (Alanna's son) Summary: Raoul asks Alan to be his squire.
Raoul looked at the man standing in front of him, for Alan was surely a man. At seventeen, most knights-in-training would be nearly ready to go for their shields. Alan, however, was just starting his squiredom. The young man looked up from cleaning his sword. He stated, “I know why you’re here. You’re just doing this because mother asked you to.”
Raoul smiled and wondered aloud, “Why do the people I choose to be my squire ask me that?”
Alan had found another spot that needed cleaned to perfection. His mother might use her sword for scrying. He just liked it to be clean. Wile focusing on that new spot, he asked, “What?”
“Never mind. It doesn’t matter. Yes, your mother asked me to talk to you, but that wasn’t the only reason. After the illness you had at nine, most people would have just become court puppets or scholars. You nearly died. The level of dedication you put into rebuilding your strength to become a page is something I’ve only seen once before.”
Alan was clearly surprised. Very few people knew how close to death he had been. It took a minute, but he asked, “Is that why you took Kel?”
“I wasn’t talking about Kel.”
“Then who?”
“Your mother.”
|
|
Kris11
Squire
Shipping in Circles
I am so confused when did I change my name
Posts: 1,250
|
Post by Kris11 on Dec 5, 2011 10:17:24 GMT 10
I loved this! Great job weaving together PotS and SotL ideas and events into a story that is all your own but feels real and uses the characters superbly. Its nice to see one of her children so like her, since we see Aly but she is definitely George's daughter.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2011 10:44:09 GMT 10
I think you've done an excellent job characterising Alan, especially the hints of interesting backstory about his illnesses. And I absolutely loved the last line.
|
|
|
Post by Elvensmith on Dec 9, 2011 15:53:16 GMT 10
Oh, thank you soooooo much! This is wonderful and a perfect present I'm so proud of Alan for the strength he apparently has, and I love the snippets of backstory. Thank you!
|
|
|
Post by Kypriotha on Jan 1, 2012 20:58:25 GMT 10
What a beautiful and captivating insight into Alan. I love the relationship between him and Raoul that you're establishing here and how similar, yet different, Alan is to both Kel and his mother.
|
|