Post by wordy on Oct 2, 2011 16:02:42 GMT 10
Letters to Miss R A Oul
by Lisafer and Rosie
Dear Miss R.A. Oul,
I really want to be the Goldenlake Prom King. I really, really want this. However, I fear that some of my… philandering in the past might have done some harm. I’m afraid that my name might be too sullied in the eyes of some women. What do you suggest to restore my reputation before the voting begins?
- Dashingly Handsome Rider
Dear Willing to be Ridden,
Yes, I’ve seen the campaign posters. I think that one lady in particular would think much more highly of you if you were more attentive to your work and less attentive to your campaign.
If you carry on as you are, you might find yourself missing out on both the Prom King title and that shiny new one you’ve taken on from the wife of a very fine man indeed.
- Miss R A Oul
Miss R.A. Oul:
I’ve spent all my life not knowing who my father is. Whenever I ask, my mother pretends not to hear me, or occupies herself with her Dog work. But really – a person deserves to know who sired them, don’t they? What should I do to convince her to tell me?
Sincerely,
Cooped Up
Dear Cooped Up,
Perhaps your mother knows better than you in this instance. Perhaps your father will force you to sit next to every eligible lady you don’t want to meet. Perhaps he is overbearing, and will tell you that you are not measuring up to Goldenlake standards.
Some things are better left alone.
Sincerely,
Miss R A Oul
Dear Miss R.A.Oul –
While visiting a mortal I’ve been assisting for the last two years, I happened to learn that he’d imprisoned my sovereign queen. Naturally my first thought was of revenge. What do you think is most suitable for a stormwing to do to get even?
Has Razor Wings for a Reason
Dear Has Razor Wings for a Reason,
I always find a nice jousting tournament to be just the thing when I find myself in a similar predicament. You will have to be careful which mount you choose, but there is nothing quite as satisfying as knocking somebody from their saddle.
Good luck!
Miss R A Oul
Miss R.A. Oul,
I might’ve gotten in a bit over my head. While I was away at university I managed to accrue a surprising amount of debt, and I can’t pay. Now these blasted pirates are after me and are demanding that I help them in their vile deeds, just because I wanted some fancy clothes and liked to gamble a bit. How does a fellow get out of a contract like this?
Sincerely,
Swimming with the Sharks
Dear Swimming with the Sharks,
I think time away from your vices would be the best thing for you, though I suggest you take care or you’ll be swimming with the fishes instead of the sharks.
- Miss R A Oul
Miss R.A. Oul,
I hate having to say goodbye, and I fear that my time with a friend has come to an end. I was sent to help her, you see, and now she’s more than ready to take on the world without me. Leaving is never easy – especially the way I always do it – but this time seems harder than most. Should I say goodbye, or simply part ways without saying anything to her?
- Pouncing Faithfully
Dear Pouncing Faithfully,
I had a friend once who always kept to the shadows. One day, when I looked back for him, he was no longer there. Not even behind the curtains, though I still check sometimes.
To avoid a tragedy such as this, you must say goodbye first, although I advise bringing handkerchiefs along. You’re never too manly to cry over your dear departed.
- Miss R A Oul