Post by Griff on Sept 20, 2011 8:22:10 GMT 10
Title: A Pirate's Life
Rating: PG
Characters: Keladry and Co
Summary: The Own, the Riders, and a scattering of knights manage to strand themselves on the high seas, just in time for some desperate play acting. Yo-Ho!
Note: Completely useless crack for Pirate's Day
-
“They’re heading straight for us!” Toby pointed desperately at the horizon, leaning over the balustrade with his feet kicking empty air. “They’ve got three masts, do you see that? Three of them!”
“Yes, Toby, light of my life,” Cleon growled impatiently, tossing rope up the rigging where Miri twisted it tight around the fittings. “We’ve all notice their charming triple-mast frigate. Please be a good cabin boy and shut up.”
Owen frowned at him, giving him a hard elbow and pointing out, “Your lot’s the reason we’re here in the first place, Cleon. Least you could do is be a bit grateful.”
“I am,” Cleon nodded, “very grateful, and I will express it after my feet are on dry land and we’re not drifting to our doom. Fair?”
“I don’t see what you’re fussing about,” Owen shrugged, coiling rope. “We’ve got ourselves a sailor,” he waved at Miri, “Plenty of hands. Good spirits!” He cheered and then frowned at Cleon again, “Well, some of us, at least. This is hardly worse off than that time with the centaurs.”
“Owen,” Neal hollered from the crow’s nest, “You swore before the Gods and your father-in-law you would never speak of the bloody centaurs again.”
“I did not!” Owen paused in his work, yelling back, “I promised not to talk about the spidrens!”
“You’re speaking of them now, you great oaf! I will climb down this – uh” Neal grasped at the swaying rigging with tremulous uncertainty, “I will climb, or perhaps slither with a manly grace…” he circled his small bucket with increasing worry. “Oh Gods,” Neal concluded. “I’m going to plummet to my death, aren’t I?”
“Oh, stop your whining, all of you,” Miri snapped. “We’ve hardly broken in your hands and you’re already caterwauling like angry cats. I can’t imagine what you’ll be like when the blisters start.”
“But I don’t want blisters!” Neal called. “And I don’t want to die!”
“Then stop moving!” Miri stood and looped her hand through the netting as she deftly swung herself back down to the quarter deck where Dom, Evin, and Keladry stood by the wheel, hotly debating their next course of action. She glared out at the frigate. “Well, they don’t plan on shooting us.”
“How can you tell?” Dom asked, popping his head out of their tight little circle.
“They aren’t shooting us.”
“Ah,” Dom nodded, “That’s definitive.”
“Rape and pillage is more like it.”
“But I don’t want to be raped!” Neal yelled frantically, before his tone change to confused interest. “What’s that long board for?”
“They’re preparing to board!” Miri cursed. The snapping flag over Neal’s head caught her eye, “We need a captain!”
“Why?” Evin cocked his head.
“Because they think we’re pirates. If we want to get through this, we’d best play don’t you think?”
“Not it!” Dom crossed his hands in front of him.
Neal and Owen chimed, “Not it!”
“I don’t want to be it!” Evin exclaimed. “I don’t even have sea legs! I’m green. How can I be the Captain if I’m green!”
“I’ll be Captain,” Toby puffed out his chest proudly. “I can growl and everythin’!”
Cleon set down the rigging with solemn dignity and stepped forward, “I shall be Captain.”
The ship echoed in ominous silence before Miri cleared her throat, “Kel will be Captain. I’ll be first mate.”
Kel frowned, “I don’t want to be captain.”
“You should’ve said so, it’s too late now,” Miri shrugged. “Oh, look, here they come. Be sure to say ‘Arr!’ Everyone!”
Kel gave her an unamused look and crossed her arms, but Miri just beamed back and slurred, “Aie, ain’t it a fine day to be sailin’ into the speckled blue ‘yonder, Cap’n? You’ll be want’in t’riggin’ lifted, yar?”
Then, to the crew’s surprise, Kel just tipped her head with a hint of a smile and responded, “Tidy now, or I’ll keelhaul the lot of you, savvy?”
“Aye-aye, Cap’n!” Miri saluted. She leaned in with a whisper, “I might I be sayin’, Cap’n, you’s a bit too proper for a fine lady of your station?”
Kel sighed and pulled off her tunic, kicking it into a corner before she ripped at the laces on her full white shirt.
“Be off with you,” She smacked Miri on the bottom, “Useless wench. I’ve got guests to greet.”
“Owen,” Neal called down the crow’s nest as the gang plank from the frigate slammed down on the middeck.
“Yeah, Neal?”
“Remember what I said about the centaurs?”
“The spidrens! You never said a thing about the centaurs!”
“I most certainly did! And I want you to remember it!”
“Why?”
“I have a feeling this is going to be one of those missions.”
Owen grinned up at him and said, “Oh, jolly good!”
Rating: PG
Characters: Keladry and Co
Summary: The Own, the Riders, and a scattering of knights manage to strand themselves on the high seas, just in time for some desperate play acting. Yo-Ho!
Note: Completely useless crack for Pirate's Day
-
“They’re heading straight for us!” Toby pointed desperately at the horizon, leaning over the balustrade with his feet kicking empty air. “They’ve got three masts, do you see that? Three of them!”
“Yes, Toby, light of my life,” Cleon growled impatiently, tossing rope up the rigging where Miri twisted it tight around the fittings. “We’ve all notice their charming triple-mast frigate. Please be a good cabin boy and shut up.”
Owen frowned at him, giving him a hard elbow and pointing out, “Your lot’s the reason we’re here in the first place, Cleon. Least you could do is be a bit grateful.”
“I am,” Cleon nodded, “very grateful, and I will express it after my feet are on dry land and we’re not drifting to our doom. Fair?”
“I don’t see what you’re fussing about,” Owen shrugged, coiling rope. “We’ve got ourselves a sailor,” he waved at Miri, “Plenty of hands. Good spirits!” He cheered and then frowned at Cleon again, “Well, some of us, at least. This is hardly worse off than that time with the centaurs.”
“Owen,” Neal hollered from the crow’s nest, “You swore before the Gods and your father-in-law you would never speak of the bloody centaurs again.”
“I did not!” Owen paused in his work, yelling back, “I promised not to talk about the spidrens!”
“You’re speaking of them now, you great oaf! I will climb down this – uh” Neal grasped at the swaying rigging with tremulous uncertainty, “I will climb, or perhaps slither with a manly grace…” he circled his small bucket with increasing worry. “Oh Gods,” Neal concluded. “I’m going to plummet to my death, aren’t I?”
“Oh, stop your whining, all of you,” Miri snapped. “We’ve hardly broken in your hands and you’re already caterwauling like angry cats. I can’t imagine what you’ll be like when the blisters start.”
“But I don’t want blisters!” Neal called. “And I don’t want to die!”
“Then stop moving!” Miri stood and looped her hand through the netting as she deftly swung herself back down to the quarter deck where Dom, Evin, and Keladry stood by the wheel, hotly debating their next course of action. She glared out at the frigate. “Well, they don’t plan on shooting us.”
“How can you tell?” Dom asked, popping his head out of their tight little circle.
“They aren’t shooting us.”
“Ah,” Dom nodded, “That’s definitive.”
“Rape and pillage is more like it.”
“But I don’t want to be raped!” Neal yelled frantically, before his tone change to confused interest. “What’s that long board for?”
“They’re preparing to board!” Miri cursed. The snapping flag over Neal’s head caught her eye, “We need a captain!”
“Why?” Evin cocked his head.
“Because they think we’re pirates. If we want to get through this, we’d best play don’t you think?”
“Not it!” Dom crossed his hands in front of him.
Neal and Owen chimed, “Not it!”
“I don’t want to be it!” Evin exclaimed. “I don’t even have sea legs! I’m green. How can I be the Captain if I’m green!”
“I’ll be Captain,” Toby puffed out his chest proudly. “I can growl and everythin’!”
Cleon set down the rigging with solemn dignity and stepped forward, “I shall be Captain.”
The ship echoed in ominous silence before Miri cleared her throat, “Kel will be Captain. I’ll be first mate.”
Kel frowned, “I don’t want to be captain.”
“You should’ve said so, it’s too late now,” Miri shrugged. “Oh, look, here they come. Be sure to say ‘Arr!’ Everyone!”
Kel gave her an unamused look and crossed her arms, but Miri just beamed back and slurred, “Aie, ain’t it a fine day to be sailin’ into the speckled blue ‘yonder, Cap’n? You’ll be want’in t’riggin’ lifted, yar?”
Then, to the crew’s surprise, Kel just tipped her head with a hint of a smile and responded, “Tidy now, or I’ll keelhaul the lot of you, savvy?”
“Aye-aye, Cap’n!” Miri saluted. She leaned in with a whisper, “I might I be sayin’, Cap’n, you’s a bit too proper for a fine lady of your station?”
Kel sighed and pulled off her tunic, kicking it into a corner before she ripped at the laces on her full white shirt.
“Be off with you,” She smacked Miri on the bottom, “Useless wench. I’ve got guests to greet.”
“Owen,” Neal called down the crow’s nest as the gang plank from the frigate slammed down on the middeck.
“Yeah, Neal?”
“Remember what I said about the centaurs?”
“The spidrens! You never said a thing about the centaurs!”
“I most certainly did! And I want you to remember it!”
“Why?”
“I have a feeling this is going to be one of those missions.”
Owen grinned up at him and said, “Oh, jolly good!”
More? Pretty please? *Bats eyes at Griff*
Maybe once we'd have seen it during Smackdown!