opalgirl
Sergeant
I also answer to Val.
Posts: 1,574
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Post by opalgirl on Jul 2, 2011 0:41:00 GMT 10
Title: A Mother's Plea Rating: G Couple/Character: Roald I/Lianne I Event: Donkey Discus Words: 190 Summary: “Look after my boy,” he hears her say; one woman’s deathbed plea to another. --
“Look after my boy,” he hears her say; one woman’s deathbed plea to another. A mother asking for the sake of her child. “Look after him, please, sister of my heart. I—I worry for him.”
“You can look after him—”
A shake of the head from the one lying abed, wracked with fever. “I’m dying. I—I can see it. He—he needs someone to guide him and I won’t be here.”
“I will. I’ll care for him as if he were my own, Goddess strike me if I lie.”
“Thank you.”
She passes into the Black God’s embrace quietly not long after that, at peace with the idea that someone will look after her child.
Lianne weeps quietly into a handkerchief at her sister-in-law’s bedside. “I’ve long prayed for a child,” she says to the ceiling, as the priests move to attend the body of his late brother’s wife, “but never like this.”
He rests a hand on her shoulder, the only comfort he can think to give her. “She died at peace; not at home, but at peace. We’ll look after Roger, like you promised her.”
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Post by Shhasow on Jul 2, 2011 0:47:50 GMT 10
Oh, how haunting. I love this: "I've long prayed for a child... but never like this."
That really puts an idea out there about the whole Roger-successor thing. Very well done, as always. You've got Lianne spot on, the strength of her as a mother, yet there is still some inherent fragility in her nature.
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sidonie
Soldier
lunatic, lover, and poet
Posts: 928
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Post by sidonie on Jul 2, 2011 2:22:58 GMT 10
Beautiful. This really makes me think about Roger's upbringing and how Roald and Lianne felt about him. You've captured their grief quite well, and I agree with Nat, you balance Lianne's strength and fragility with ease.
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Post by journeycat on Jul 2, 2011 4:11:14 GMT 10
Like Nat, I love this line: "I've long prayed for a child... but never like this."
This is so haunting, and aching, and seeing how Roger passed into their hands is lovely.
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Post by Seek on Jul 2, 2011 4:14:41 GMT 10
"I've long prayed for a child... but never like this."
I have to agree with the others - I really love this line. It's a novel take, really, on exactly what happened to Roger's parents, and yet at the same time, it's sad, if only because the reader knows exactly what's really going to happen - and you reveal it in the last sentence, for maximum impact. The baby is Roger.
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luinae
Rider Trainee
crazy girl
Posts: 89
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Post by luinae on Jul 2, 2011 5:29:06 GMT 10
"I've long prayed for a child... but never like this."
I'll go with everyone else and quote this because it's so strong and very, very frail at the same time.
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