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Post by Seek on Jul 2, 2011 3:18:17 GMT 10
Title: Hill Boy Rating: G Couple/Character: Matthias Tunstall Event: 110 word hurdles Words: 110 Summary: The first time Mattes sees Corus. He’s still a hill boy at heart.
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Getting to Corus is a journey longer than he can remember; part walking, part hitching rides on wagons until the dust that sticks to his sandals is no longer the red clay of the hills but earth from countless roads.
(The clay seeps instead into his blood, a thickened red.)
He glances at the city, the distant spires of the palace dimly discernable in the gloaming. The city’s lamps burn with a hundred flames, and even here, the earth is not silent, but cries out with a thousand voices, the footsteps of a thousand people. The city breathes mesmerised and the boy from the hills takes his first step forward.
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sidonie
Soldier
lunatic, lover, and poet
Posts: 928
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Post by sidonie on Jul 2, 2011 3:48:09 GMT 10
Poetic and gorgeous. You do such a good job of showing both where he comes from (and how that will stick with him) and where he will be when Beka meets him. Beautiful!
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Post by journeycat on Jul 2, 2011 3:55:04 GMT 10
Oh, I love how uncivilized he seems - in awe of this place, and so young. Your writing is gorgeous for this and line within the parentheses is so striking.
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luinae
Rider Trainee
crazy girl
Posts: 89
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Post by luinae on Jul 2, 2011 5:10:30 GMT 10
He'll always be a hill boy, and it's nice to see where he came from.
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Post by Shhasow on Jul 2, 2011 15:40:14 GMT 10
Mattes is innocent. The idea that he sets off, alone, to find Corus is so independently him, and you make his journey poetic even in its hardship.
The best part about the parenthetic phrase is the understanding that, even as the red clay falls from his feet, it seeps into his body, forever.
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Post by Lisa on Jul 2, 2011 23:42:57 GMT 10
This is incredible - I adore your descriptions and how this drabble screams out how much his life is changing. Well done!
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Post by Cass on Jul 3, 2011 4:34:37 GMT 10
Ooooh, this is marvelous. You have the best imagery, and it conveys his character wonderfully.
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Post by Seek on Jul 6, 2011 0:27:55 GMT 10
Thanks, guys!
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Post by PeroxidePirate on Jul 21, 2011 7:08:36 GMT 10
It's easy to forget how much his life has changed, so I love that you're tackling that aspect.
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Post by Seek on Jul 22, 2011 5:26:49 GMT 10
Thanks!
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