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Post by rougelioness on Mar 8, 2011 10:08:17 GMT 10
Title: Gezondheid (health) (Driehoek series) Rating: PG Word Count: 260 Pairing: Dom/Evin Round/Fight: R1 A Summary: Winning a lady knight's heart is not always easy, or without pain and hurt.
Dom and Evin lay side by side, groaning and muttering about how it was the other's fault. Both had ice packs and bruise balms on their respective eyes and were currently laying on cots in the infirmary. How they had come to be here was a story they would rather not repeat. “I was winning,” said through swollen lips that belonged to Evin. “Not even in your dreams. And she hit you first.” Dom said it with a snicker that ended almost in a cry of pain. “Well, that is just beacause she likes me more, obviously.” Dom was about to respond when the loud shutting of a door sounded. Both men boys sat up in surprise to see a very angry Kel leaning against the door frame. “I am not so sure where either of your immaturity came from today. But I don’t like giving out black eyes very much. Especially to people I would consider friends.” She muttered the last part barely loud enough for them to hear. “Just friends, dearest Kel?” inquired Dom. “After we have invited you into our…” Evin didn’t get to finish the sentence before Kel kicked his cot’s leg so he feel off of it. From the floor he announced, “Hearts, I was going to say hearts.” Kel just shook her head and walked out, making the door slam behind her. Evin got up and straightened himself before glaring at first Dom, then the door. “Women,” they both muttered at the same time.
QC by: journeycat
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Griff
Knight
Deputy Mischief Maker
Posts: 2,156
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Post by Griff on Mar 8, 2011 15:19:15 GMT 10
Oh Kel. I'm sure it would have ended up at their hearts eventually? ... You're probably better off, anyway.
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Post by wordy on Mar 10, 2011 11:45:51 GMT 10
Your story has been excluded as it does not comply with SMACKDOWN quality rules. This means it does not currently count towards your couple's fight total.
Issue: “Well that is just beacause she likes me more obviously.” could use some commas, in one part you have 'both men boys' (it looks like you only meant to type either 'men' or 'boys'), and the "disappointed at her dressing again" is a bit confusing. Just get someone to check it.
Moderator: wordy
Please fix the issue and post on the validation thread to have the entry reinstated and the exclusion removed. You have until the close of the fight to fix the issue.
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Post by pandora on Mar 25, 2011 11:14:42 GMT 10
Haha! This is very cute.
Maybe Kel has knocked some sense into them. But probably not...
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