Post by Minuit on Mar 9, 2011 23:02:36 GMT 10
Title: So not enough
Rating: PG
Word count: 448
Pairing: Jonathan/Zahir
Round/Fight: Round 1, Fight A
Summary: 5th Part of the ‘So not true’ series, where Jonathan is not in denial, or jealous, or uh, you get the picture .
A/N: I intended this to be the shortest fic of the series - just a brief interlude. But somehow it’s turned into the longest so far.
“Zahir, I … what I mean to say is …” Jon swallowed the large lump in his throat. It shouldn’t be this hard should it? He tugged on his beared and tried to come up with another way to say it. A better way, one that wouldn’t sound so … pathetic wasn’t quite the right word. “I just wanted, no, needed to tell you… I feel…” Jon broke off with a wince. Nothing sounded right.
“Majesty, if I may say something?” Zahir interrupted. He sat across the table, his voice soft and his eyes downcast.
“Of course.” Thank Mithros, Jon thought.
“I think I know what you’re trying to say.” Zahir dared to look up, but only for a moment.
Jon stared at his squire, heart thudding in his chest, amazed and afraid at the same time. “How? I don’t understand.”
“I’m not blind Majesty.” Zahir smiled gently. “You’re the Voice of the Tribes. You are my knight master, and my sire. I’ve watched you, studied you. I know you.” Zahir paused and licked his suddenly dry lips. “It’s killing me, seeing how much you’ve been hurting lately. It’s all because of me.” Zahir looked up again, and stared right into those midnight blue eyes, as if he could see inside Jon’s soul. “I hate seeing you suffer.”
Jon didn’t know what to say. Parts of him was jumping and leaping for joy. The other, more sane, part was terrified.
Zahir reached out and grabbed hold of Jon’s hand. “Let me help you stop hurting.” Softly, he stroked his thumb along the back of the hand. “I want to. You don’t have to be afraid of taking advantage of me. I know what I’m doing. I …” now it was Zahir that broke off, and looked away, almost coyly. “I feel … for you too.”
“Oh Zahir,” Jon’s eyes softened, his voice gentle and calm once again. Carefully, he reached out with his other hand and lifted Zahir’s chin. “You don’t know how happy you’ve made me feel. But it, it just wouldn’t be appropriate.”
“I don’t care. I can be good for you. You just have to let me.” Zahir’s voice was equally soft but firm. With deliberate slowness, he leaned across the table, capturing both of Jon’s hand in his own, and brought his lips within a hair’s width of Jon’s. “Let me, Majesty.”
“Call me Jon.” He couldn’t resist any longer. He wasn’t nearly strong enough. He tilted his face forward, and let those soft lips chase away the last few whispers of doubts. Desperately clutching the younger man’s hands in his own, he took the kiss deeper.
It wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough. Yet.
QC by: inthefire
Rating: PG
Word count: 448
Pairing: Jonathan/Zahir
Round/Fight: Round 1, Fight A
Summary: 5th Part of the ‘So not true’ series, where Jonathan is not in denial, or jealous, or uh, you get the picture .
A/N: I intended this to be the shortest fic of the series - just a brief interlude. But somehow it’s turned into the longest so far.
“Zahir, I … what I mean to say is …” Jon swallowed the large lump in his throat. It shouldn’t be this hard should it? He tugged on his beared and tried to come up with another way to say it. A better way, one that wouldn’t sound so … pathetic wasn’t quite the right word. “I just wanted, no, needed to tell you… I feel…” Jon broke off with a wince. Nothing sounded right.
“Majesty, if I may say something?” Zahir interrupted. He sat across the table, his voice soft and his eyes downcast.
“Of course.” Thank Mithros, Jon thought.
“I think I know what you’re trying to say.” Zahir dared to look up, but only for a moment.
Jon stared at his squire, heart thudding in his chest, amazed and afraid at the same time. “How? I don’t understand.”
“I’m not blind Majesty.” Zahir smiled gently. “You’re the Voice of the Tribes. You are my knight master, and my sire. I’ve watched you, studied you. I know you.” Zahir paused and licked his suddenly dry lips. “It’s killing me, seeing how much you’ve been hurting lately. It’s all because of me.” Zahir looked up again, and stared right into those midnight blue eyes, as if he could see inside Jon’s soul. “I hate seeing you suffer.”
Jon didn’t know what to say. Parts of him was jumping and leaping for joy. The other, more sane, part was terrified.
Zahir reached out and grabbed hold of Jon’s hand. “Let me help you stop hurting.” Softly, he stroked his thumb along the back of the hand. “I want to. You don’t have to be afraid of taking advantage of me. I know what I’m doing. I …” now it was Zahir that broke off, and looked away, almost coyly. “I feel … for you too.”
“Oh Zahir,” Jon’s eyes softened, his voice gentle and calm once again. Carefully, he reached out with his other hand and lifted Zahir’s chin. “You don’t know how happy you’ve made me feel. But it, it just wouldn’t be appropriate.”
“I don’t care. I can be good for you. You just have to let me.” Zahir’s voice was equally soft but firm. With deliberate slowness, he leaned across the table, capturing both of Jon’s hand in his own, and brought his lips within a hair’s width of Jon’s. “Let me, Majesty.”
“Call me Jon.” He couldn’t resist any longer. He wasn’t nearly strong enough. He tilted his face forward, and let those soft lips chase away the last few whispers of doubts. Desperately clutching the younger man’s hands in his own, he took the kiss deeper.
It wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough. Yet.
QC by: inthefire