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Post by ubiquitous on Feb 2, 2010 14:22:14 GMT 10
Title: Betrayal Rating: PG Length: 109 words Competitor: Wyldon Round/Fight: 1/A Summary: Faith can be easily broken. Part of the 'New Hope Proxy' drabble series.
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"You betrayed me." Those three words were filled with pain.
There was nothing else to say. "I'm sorry." The words sounded weak and useless, just a silly platitude. "I never thought..."
"No, you didn't think. There were so many times...so many times you could have said something, but you didn't." Their eyes met, and there was no anger, only sadness and defeat.
"I never meant to hurt you."
"I know." The air around them was heavy, each moment seeming to last an eternity.
Maybe there was still hope. "I love you."
Wyldon looked at Kel. "I know," he said softly, his voice thick with emotion. "I loved you too."
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Post by Lisa on Feb 2, 2010 14:27:50 GMT 10
Ouch! One past-tense verb shouldn't hurt so much. I like that you held off revealing who was hurt, and who was apologizing. I think we tend to assume that the one who's betrayed and emotionally hurt is the girl - but having it the omnipotent male figure is refreshing. In a sad way, of course.
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Post by ubiquitous on Feb 2, 2010 14:31:28 GMT 10
Thank you! I think Kel needs to give Wyldon a cuddle now, I've been putting him through the ringer.
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Post by Lisa on Feb 2, 2010 14:33:54 GMT 10
I concur!!! I feel bad for suggesting Angst-Day for Wyldon, after all he's been put through!
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Post by journeycat on Feb 2, 2010 14:51:36 GMT 10
I have to agree with Lisa - one past-tense verb shouldn't have such an impact. Isha, you write angst so gorgeously well
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Post by ubiquitous on Feb 2, 2010 15:08:54 GMT 10
*blush* Thank you!
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Minuit
Knight
Helping George out of the Closet
*splat*
Posts: 2,011
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Post by Minuit on Feb 2, 2010 16:14:05 GMT 10
poor Wyldon, he's usually so stoic about everything that when he shows a little bit of emotion, you know he's really hurt But brilliant fic and *cuddles* Wyldon
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