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Post by jazzyjess on Jun 2, 2010 4:26:03 GMT 10
Title: Higher Now Rating: PG Prompt: walk the line Category: up to 250 words drabble Word count: 236 words Summary: On the last line between life and death, someone makes a last goodbye.
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You are dying on a battlefield when you feel your spirit rise, see your dying body strewn on the ground like a child’s discarded doll after a long day. There are some things you know and some things you don’t, and when the sun is dim even as it is shining bright, your spirit leaves to the north and east.
It’s funny, how corporeal your body feels when you land on a branch outside an open window. You blink once or twice to dislodge the filmy substance that is darkening your vision, and though your memory shows you a little girl with mousy hair and ill-fitting clothes, your eyes see a young woman with wide eyes, turning at the sound you think your wings make to fix you with a stare that is filled with both disbelief and longing.
That’s all the time you have, just one long look, and you feel your spirit being pulled back into your lifeless body. Her screams hurt your ears ("No! Don’t leave me again! Don’t leave me!") and for a second you marvel at how that’s your only sense that hasn’t been impaired, but the reminiscence of a time long past steps up to fill in the spaces you didn’t know were there. You watch her until even the keen eyes of your memory are strained, listening to her wails until they fade, with the world, into the dark.
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Post by PeroxidePirate on Jun 2, 2010 10:21:26 GMT 10
Fantastic. I am truly at a loss for any other way to describe this. It's just flat out wonderful.
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domluvr
Squire
♥ Dom ♥
Posts: 1,471
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Post by domluvr on Jun 2, 2010 10:31:18 GMT 10
*wipes tears*
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Post by max on Jun 2, 2010 15:04:16 GMT 10
Jess, you're amazing.
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Post by jazzyjess on Jun 2, 2010 17:50:30 GMT 10
Thank you, Nicki, Crystal, and Elena! I'm blushing a little all to myself!
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aurorax
Queen's Rider
Captain Crazy
Drabbling Away!
Posts: 507
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Post by aurorax on Jun 4, 2010 14:39:40 GMT 10
I love how you've played with point of view here- I can't give a specific reason why but it just *works* so well the way you've written it, the perfect contrast of personal and anonymous. The line is absolutely beautiful, I'm totally in awe of the feeling and power there. This made me think of Douglas and Maura for some reason, though it could fit so many people, and the fact that it can be so lovely yet so sad at the same time is a tribute to your writing.
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Post by jazzyjess on Jun 4, 2010 16:44:18 GMT 10
Thank you, Ginger!! I'm really glad that you picked up on Maura! The characters I had in mind while writing this were Rikash and Maura, because I recently have been reading TIQ and think that they are quite possibly my favourite friendship in the books.
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