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Post by ev on Aug 4, 2010 4:08:27 GMT 10
Title: Right Here Rating: G Prompt: 2. over the world and under the world, August 31_days Summary: Tris looks all over, only to find it's right here.
Something to look forward to. Something to find meaning in.
Tris settles down her heart, body, and soul. Breath in seven seconds, out seven seconds. Her body immediately picks up the rhythm of meditation. But today, she would do something different.
Tris breaks free of her body and comes with the wind. Ah, Emelan. Tris feels the warmth of sunshine spray her. Tris picks up speed. Soon enough, she is over Namorn, going northward, she soon feels the bite of ice, a shower of snow. Tris can't remember what happened next, she goes to many places, Tharios, Qalai, Janaal, Sotat... and soon there is miles of jungle. Maybe I'll settle down here...
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"Tris, Tris, wake up!" Tris gasps. Her eyes are wide, she starts to gag. "W-what?" "We almost thought we lost you." Briar whispers, his lips quiver. Tris's eyes move to Sandry, slightly slumped with vulnerability. And Daja, composed as usual, but if you didn't know her all you're life, you wouldn't see her hands clenched behind her back, the quicken of her breath.
I think I'll stay right here.Tris decides and crumples into their arms.
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domluvr
Squire
♥ Dom ♥
Posts: 1,471
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Post by domluvr on Aug 4, 2010 4:23:33 GMT 10
What a lovely take on the prompt. I love the subtle images of their concern!
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Post by ev on Aug 4, 2010 6:00:26 GMT 10
I was hoping that I showed their true concern well, thanks!
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Rowena
Training Master
back to school... >.<
Posts: 2,661
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Post by Rowena on Aug 4, 2010 7:45:12 GMT 10
Great switch from Tris's journey on air (with lovely descriptions) to her waking up.
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Post by ev on Aug 4, 2010 9:29:27 GMT 10
Thanks!
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Post by katieheidie on Aug 4, 2010 19:10:26 GMT 10
I love that last line, because it's where she belongs Great job!
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Post by ev on Aug 5, 2010 6:21:13 GMT 10
;D, I always like to connect my last lines with my title, thanks!
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Post by PeroxidePirate on Sept 4, 2010 13:53:10 GMT 10
Eek, what if she mentally goes too far? I do like her friends' concern.
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Post by ev on Sept 6, 2010 1:49:41 GMT 10
Yeah, even as I was writing this, I was scared for her! :/
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Post by max on Sept 8, 2010 19:31:29 GMT 10
You captured this aspect of Tris' character so perfectly. I adore the way you write.
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Post by ev on Sept 9, 2010 11:22:42 GMT 10
I know your writing is amazing, so thank you for that.
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