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Post by mistrali on Jun 14, 2014 23:57:49 GMT 10
Title: For What I'm Told Rating: G Prompts: Warmth, dancing, charm, joy, golden Summary: A moment in a Snowsdale street. Notes: Title from 'Ravel in the Rain' by Black. So, apparently I managed a serious piece for this. Concrit on characterisation is welcome, because this is my first time writing Sarra.
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"There's a dance on at Master Fricansra's. Will you be wanting to come?" asked one of the women. It was hard to see her in this mist with the veil over her face, but Sarra thought it might be Tela Eddensra, the smith's wife. She'd deliberately avoided using Sarra's name or title, but her voice was warm enough, and she'd paid Sarra for a healing charm or two before.
Sarra hesitated, because she couldn't afford to refuse help or friendship now. Insults were expected, and what was the point of taking on and crying about it? What was more, the dance sounded fair wonderful. She'd been a dab hand at the claypipe dance not twenty months ago. She might fetch her good pink dress from home and brush out her hair, wear that delicate sapphire-and-gold bracelet of Ma's... but oh, gods, there was supper to be made and Veralidaine to be fed. Besides, she'd had it up to here with talk and folk staring. Would Master Fricansra's wife want her at her gathering, in their house? Would men care to dance with an unwed mother, no matter how sure-footed or beautiful?
Her momentary joy fizzled and was gone. "Thank you, Mistress," she said, hoping her voice did not tremble. "I've to see to the housework first. Mayhap I'll come by this evening." Their whispers floated at her back. She imagined she heard them all the way to the cottage.
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Post by max on Jun 15, 2014 12:50:36 GMT 10
I really loved the characterisation. Sarra isn't really a character I give too much thought myself, and I really loved the life you breathed into her.
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Post by mistrali on Jun 15, 2014 13:12:12 GMT 10
Thank you, max!
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Post by wordy on Jun 16, 2014 13:17:47 GMT 10
I agree with max, you handled the voice so well in this and I thought the characterisation was great!
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Post by mistrali on Jun 16, 2014 14:34:43 GMT 10
Thank you!
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