Griff
Knight
Deputy Mischief Maker
Posts: 2,156
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Post by Griff on Feb 5, 2012 3:15:28 GMT 10
Title: Neal's Guide to Wooing women Rating: G Recipient: Roald Notes (and any Warnings): Neal reveals what's behind the curtain of his genius.
This is part of the series "A Calamity of Passion-eth". Keep an eye out for others in the series!
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Roald --
Where are your passions! Where is your language of love! Don’t you feel the deep persistent burning in your gut when you look at her? Women speak a certain language, my friend. It is deep, it is primal, and it is something I, from the goodness of my heart, am willing to teach you.
Neal’s Guide to Wooing Women: Dictionary of Love
Love - Love-eth Burn - Burn-eth Feel - Feel-eth
If you feel the ‘eth’s are taking over your letter and you’re afraid that she’ll start accidentally spitting at her friends when she reads your letter aloud - and she will, because they always read the very best aloud - then feel free to vary forms. For example, ‘est’ is also very popular with the ladies. Here are some of the more common phrases translated into ‘The Language of Love’.
I love you- I love-est thee My heart burns - Mine heart-eth doth burn-eth! (‘for thee’, if you’re being complete) Will you see me? - Will-est thou see-eth mine?
Though, really, it’s better to use ‘me’ in this instance, though it’s not strictly adhering to the Rules of Love. See, Lord Frocknell used the correct version in his letter to Lady Millicent and her father threatened to “chop ‘mine’ clean off” if he ever spoke to his daughter again.
Honestly, though. Roald, you need to find the poet inside you. You are a man of feeling! Well, I assume so, at least. You’re always so quiet, but I’m sure that underneath that stuffy, somewhat dull exterior, you’re a regular dandy with the womanfolk. Just feel the words.
And don’t-est forget-eth thine classic-edification!
--Neal
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Muse
Knight
Official Rogerfic Curator
Junior Overlord
Posts: 2,160
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Post by Muse on Feb 5, 2012 7:32:28 GMT 10
Bahaha--- there is so much to love about this, but I really love the bit about Lord Frocknell. See, Neal does learn things in class pertaining to such topics as correct grammar usage!
Hopefully Roald can dredge up some of this heartfelt feeling... I feel as though Neal's advice might be bad for one's health...
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Griff
Knight
Deputy Mischief Maker
Posts: 2,156
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Post by Griff on Feb 5, 2012 10:54:10 GMT 10
People keep saying that, but Neal's the very picture of health! He's not quite sure where this rumor is coming from...
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hawksandfeathers
Soldier
Collector of Queenscove's Better Ideas
by wordy
Posts: 995
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Post by hawksandfeathers on Feb 10, 2013 14:22:37 GMT 10
I LOVE this. Griff your humour kills me. Every. Single. Time. It's not even funny.
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Vala
Page
“Every now and then I like to do as I'm told, just to confuse people.”
Posts: 466
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Post by Vala on Aug 29, 2016 20:14:21 GMT 10
This is hilarious, and so witty. I love it, and I feel you've captured Neal's personality perfectly here. This is just too amazing.
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