aurorax
Queen's Rider
Captain Crazy
Drabbling Away!
Posts: 507
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Post by aurorax on Jul 3, 2011 15:52:52 GMT 10
Title: Idle Dreams Rating: PG Couple/Character: Tobe/Vania Event: Single sentence short put Words: 67 Summary: What they lost because they were too afraid to try.
She feared the places he went that she couldn’t follow, when he disappeared with the herd and returned days later, skittish and wild-eyed as an unbroken colt; while he worried that she would only ever see the lost barefoot orphan boy each time she looked at him, and the touch that might have saved them both remained locked in the world of what-ifs and idle dreams.
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Post by journeycat on Jul 4, 2011 3:02:24 GMT 10
You've made this sentence a story in itself without allowing it to get rambly or run on, and you use such pretty language as you always do in your writing!
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Post by Rosie on Jul 19, 2011 18:02:12 GMT 10
The comparison of Tobe with a colt works wonderfully, and I love that they won't allow themselves to reach out to each other. The distance between them is so tangible here.
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Griff
Knight
Deputy Mischief Maker
Posts: 2,156
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Post by Griff on Jul 19, 2011 23:38:29 GMT 10
*wibbles*
Kel, go club that boy over the head and bring him back as spoils of war for his princess. Because heaven knows, they're not gonna do it themselves.
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