Post by journeycat on Jul 21, 2011 7:28:02 GMT 10
Title: Lost Without You
Rating: PG
Couple/Character: Kel/Faleron
Event: 1500 word dash
Word Count: 1500
Summary: Faleron can only pray it does not come to the most terrible choice of all: his child, or his wife.
-----
The Tyran border was restive right now, with its civil war brought on by a merchant trying to style himself king and turn the nation into a monarchy, and Faleron was quite busy. With the Tyran army otherwise occupied, its bandits were pillaging villages left and right without fear of reprisal and often crossed into Tortallan lands. And then there were all the refugees seeking asylum, and he had been ordered to turn none away and send them to temporary camps. After a couple hundred in just two weeks, he was thinking that the king had underestimated how many would come to Tortall.
Still, after the king assigned him to directing and helping refugees instead of fighting bandits, Faleron began to understand why Kel loved her own so dearly—the ones he met were sometimes friendly and often not, but most of them were good and brave and strong. Initially he balked at the idea of becoming what he saw as a nanny, but he found that he was warming to it. He was even enjoying himself.
And then he got Roald’s letter.
-----
Faleron,
I’m not sure if you knew this, but Kel’s pregnant—
At this, Faleron looked up from the letter with a rush of adrenaline, seeing nothing, feeling nothing but this strange soft feeling inside him, before he went back to the letter.
—and I’m afraid she’s not doing well. She had a condition called pre-eclampsia that has progressed into eclampsia, which Baird says is very dangerous. Maybe even fatal, to both of them. She’s very, very ill, and is in and out of a coma. Neal says they’re not sure how far along she is, but they may have to induce labor early—they don’t know if it will be enough to save her, or if the baby will survive. I’m so sorry that you have to find out like this. You have official royal permission to return from the border with all due haste.
Goddess bless you both,
Roald
Faleron was on his horse before he even realized he had packed.
-----
The journey took too long. With every hoofbeat, every heartbeat, every hitch in his breath, he feared that she was already gone. Kel was his wife and his heart and his other half. How could he lose her? They had known each other for more than half their lives, since they were children and pages—and she would be taken from him now? You once told me, when we first met, that we can’t love each other enough that we lose ourselves. I loved you even more for that, for not holding me too close—but I never expected that it would happen regardless. I’m lost without you, Kel.
And the baby—
Oh, why hadn’t Faleron been more careful? Neither of them wanted a baby—one day, yes, but not any time soon—and now they were having one and it was ruining everything and he wanted this child of his to live so damn bad he ached with it. But he wanted his lady to live, too.
A little girl with your eyes and my hair, a rowdy boy with your smile and my skin, that’s all I wished for. He must have wished too hard, and the gods were granting it at a price he was not willing to pay.
-----
Neal was white and haggard with exhaustion when Faleron met him on his way to the infirmary. Faleron grabbed his wrist before the other man was even aware he was there, and said urgently, “How’s Kel? Where is she?”
“Thank the gods you’re here,” Neal said. “She’s in a coma again. Father’s watching over her, and doing what he can. Come on, let’s go.”
Like he said, Baird was in the infirmary with Kel, checking her pulse with one hand and touching her stomach with the other, and both were glowing the green of his magic. He was as wan as Neal.
“Sir Faleron,” he said gravely. “I’m glad to see you.”
“Please, Your Grace,” Faleron whispered. “Can you save her? What’s eclampsia? I don’t—I didn’t know she was—”
“This was not your fault, or hers. Pregnancy can happen even to the most careful, and eclampsia can happen to any pregnant woman. It’s a condition in which the mother’s blood pressure causes adverse effects that disrupts the pregnancy, to put it simply. It’s not always easy to distinguish between its symptoms and that of pregnancy, either.”
Neal pushed a chair up closer to the bed and gestured to it. Faleron sunk gratefully down on it, taking Kel’s cool hand in his own. Her pale face seemed so small in the pillow, like she was dwindling away. And the mound that was supposed to be their baby was this low hill, barely nothing, how was there a human being in there? Neal squeezed his shoulder sympathetically.
“Why didn’t she say anything, if she felt ill?” he asked helplessly. “She doesn’t look very pregnant, but she would have noticed something, right?”
“Not necessarily,” Baird said. “When she came to me, she mentioned still having her monthlies, not gaining much weight—it’s uncommon, but it happens.”
“How long is she going to be like this? She doesn’t seem far along...will she make it for the whole thing? Is the baby...”
“There is both good news and bad news concerning the baby,” Baird said slowly. “She is much, much farther along than I initially thought—meaning that if we end up having to force labor, they both have a better chance than they would have otherwise. But...”
“But?” Faleron said desperately. “What’s the bad news?”
“The fact that she is so far along but shows so little means the baby is very small,” Neal said. “Everyone thinks healers can just peek inside someone’s body and know exactly what’s wrong, but it’s more ambiguous than that. It’s even worse when it’s a body inside another body, so if the baby has a health problem, it’s difficult to detect. Its smallness could mean anything.”
Faleron stared at his wife, clinging to life so delicately, so haphazardly. His world was spinning and dipping and he didn’t know where his ended and hers began, but he knew his would end when hers did. Would he become a widower with barely a year of marriage under his belt? Would he lose this little family that had not even begun?
“Fal,” Neal said gently, “we have to ask this: if it comes down to a choice—”
“No—”
“—if it comes down to it, you have to tell us—would you want us to save the baby, or Kel?”
Oh, oh, not that question, please not that question. How could he choose to destroy one life to save another? And yet he must.
“Do what you can,” he whispered, “to save my wife.
-----
Duke Baird induced labor a week later, once it became clear Kel was not waking up from this coma. Duke Baird personally attended her, with a hard-faced Neal at his side. I will give my entire Gift to save them, he had told Faleron. I will give everything.
And Faleron knew he would. Kel was his wife, but she was Neal’s best friend. He had never been jealous of their relationship; especially now, for if she died, the closest thing each would have to her was the other. If she dies. Please, Goddess, I beg of you, spare her life.
Her pregnant stomach rippled unsettlingly. It’s so small, Fal thought sadly. You are too small. You won’t make it. Oh, how that revelation hurt him so.
“You should leave,” Neal said quietly.
“No,” Faleron said. “I want to be here for—whatever happens.”
He wanted to be here to say goodbye to the baby that never had a chance, but he couldn’t say that. Still, Neal’s sad eyes knew it.
“It’s coming,” Baird said.
-----
Kel opened her eyes, exhausted and aching. She recognized the infirmary walls around her, but couldn’t for the life of her remember coming here. And why was she laying down? Was she sick? She didn’t understand anything anymore.
“You’re awake,” a voice said huskily. “I was so worried—I thought—His Grace was afraid—”
She turned her head and there was Faleron, looking as beautiful as ever. He was holding a pile of blankets in his arms. Why was he holding blankets?
“What’s going on?” she asked. Her voice sounded so frail in her ears. “What happened?”
“You were pregnant,” he said. Something jolted in her belly. “It made you sick. We thought you—I didn’t think you were going to make it.”
His eyes seemed shiny with unshed tears, but maybe it was her vision, which was blurry and strange. “The baby,” she whispered. “Did I have—or did it—did it—”
“Darling,” Faleron said, and suddenly his smile bloomed like a flower in the rain as he held out that mysterious bundle of blankets, “would you like to meet our daughter?”
Rating: PG
Couple/Character: Kel/Faleron
Event: 1500 word dash
Word Count: 1500
Summary: Faleron can only pray it does not come to the most terrible choice of all: his child, or his wife.
-----
The Tyran border was restive right now, with its civil war brought on by a merchant trying to style himself king and turn the nation into a monarchy, and Faleron was quite busy. With the Tyran army otherwise occupied, its bandits were pillaging villages left and right without fear of reprisal and often crossed into Tortallan lands. And then there were all the refugees seeking asylum, and he had been ordered to turn none away and send them to temporary camps. After a couple hundred in just two weeks, he was thinking that the king had underestimated how many would come to Tortall.
Still, after the king assigned him to directing and helping refugees instead of fighting bandits, Faleron began to understand why Kel loved her own so dearly—the ones he met were sometimes friendly and often not, but most of them were good and brave and strong. Initially he balked at the idea of becoming what he saw as a nanny, but he found that he was warming to it. He was even enjoying himself.
And then he got Roald’s letter.
-----
Faleron,
I’m not sure if you knew this, but Kel’s pregnant—
At this, Faleron looked up from the letter with a rush of adrenaline, seeing nothing, feeling nothing but this strange soft feeling inside him, before he went back to the letter.
—and I’m afraid she’s not doing well. She had a condition called pre-eclampsia that has progressed into eclampsia, which Baird says is very dangerous. Maybe even fatal, to both of them. She’s very, very ill, and is in and out of a coma. Neal says they’re not sure how far along she is, but they may have to induce labor early—they don’t know if it will be enough to save her, or if the baby will survive. I’m so sorry that you have to find out like this. You have official royal permission to return from the border with all due haste.
Goddess bless you both,
Roald
Faleron was on his horse before he even realized he had packed.
-----
The journey took too long. With every hoofbeat, every heartbeat, every hitch in his breath, he feared that she was already gone. Kel was his wife and his heart and his other half. How could he lose her? They had known each other for more than half their lives, since they were children and pages—and she would be taken from him now? You once told me, when we first met, that we can’t love each other enough that we lose ourselves. I loved you even more for that, for not holding me too close—but I never expected that it would happen regardless. I’m lost without you, Kel.
And the baby—
Oh, why hadn’t Faleron been more careful? Neither of them wanted a baby—one day, yes, but not any time soon—and now they were having one and it was ruining everything and he wanted this child of his to live so damn bad he ached with it. But he wanted his lady to live, too.
A little girl with your eyes and my hair, a rowdy boy with your smile and my skin, that’s all I wished for. He must have wished too hard, and the gods were granting it at a price he was not willing to pay.
-----
Neal was white and haggard with exhaustion when Faleron met him on his way to the infirmary. Faleron grabbed his wrist before the other man was even aware he was there, and said urgently, “How’s Kel? Where is she?”
“Thank the gods you’re here,” Neal said. “She’s in a coma again. Father’s watching over her, and doing what he can. Come on, let’s go.”
Like he said, Baird was in the infirmary with Kel, checking her pulse with one hand and touching her stomach with the other, and both were glowing the green of his magic. He was as wan as Neal.
“Sir Faleron,” he said gravely. “I’m glad to see you.”
“Please, Your Grace,” Faleron whispered. “Can you save her? What’s eclampsia? I don’t—I didn’t know she was—”
“This was not your fault, or hers. Pregnancy can happen even to the most careful, and eclampsia can happen to any pregnant woman. It’s a condition in which the mother’s blood pressure causes adverse effects that disrupts the pregnancy, to put it simply. It’s not always easy to distinguish between its symptoms and that of pregnancy, either.”
Neal pushed a chair up closer to the bed and gestured to it. Faleron sunk gratefully down on it, taking Kel’s cool hand in his own. Her pale face seemed so small in the pillow, like she was dwindling away. And the mound that was supposed to be their baby was this low hill, barely nothing, how was there a human being in there? Neal squeezed his shoulder sympathetically.
“Why didn’t she say anything, if she felt ill?” he asked helplessly. “She doesn’t look very pregnant, but she would have noticed something, right?”
“Not necessarily,” Baird said. “When she came to me, she mentioned still having her monthlies, not gaining much weight—it’s uncommon, but it happens.”
“How long is she going to be like this? She doesn’t seem far along...will she make it for the whole thing? Is the baby...”
“There is both good news and bad news concerning the baby,” Baird said slowly. “She is much, much farther along than I initially thought—meaning that if we end up having to force labor, they both have a better chance than they would have otherwise. But...”
“But?” Faleron said desperately. “What’s the bad news?”
“The fact that she is so far along but shows so little means the baby is very small,” Neal said. “Everyone thinks healers can just peek inside someone’s body and know exactly what’s wrong, but it’s more ambiguous than that. It’s even worse when it’s a body inside another body, so if the baby has a health problem, it’s difficult to detect. Its smallness could mean anything.”
Faleron stared at his wife, clinging to life so delicately, so haphazardly. His world was spinning and dipping and he didn’t know where his ended and hers began, but he knew his would end when hers did. Would he become a widower with barely a year of marriage under his belt? Would he lose this little family that had not even begun?
“Fal,” Neal said gently, “we have to ask this: if it comes down to a choice—”
“No—”
“—if it comes down to it, you have to tell us—would you want us to save the baby, or Kel?”
Oh, oh, not that question, please not that question. How could he choose to destroy one life to save another? And yet he must.
“Do what you can,” he whispered, “to save my wife.
-----
Duke Baird induced labor a week later, once it became clear Kel was not waking up from this coma. Duke Baird personally attended her, with a hard-faced Neal at his side. I will give my entire Gift to save them, he had told Faleron. I will give everything.
And Faleron knew he would. Kel was his wife, but she was Neal’s best friend. He had never been jealous of their relationship; especially now, for if she died, the closest thing each would have to her was the other. If she dies. Please, Goddess, I beg of you, spare her life.
Her pregnant stomach rippled unsettlingly. It’s so small, Fal thought sadly. You are too small. You won’t make it. Oh, how that revelation hurt him so.
“You should leave,” Neal said quietly.
“No,” Faleron said. “I want to be here for—whatever happens.”
He wanted to be here to say goodbye to the baby that never had a chance, but he couldn’t say that. Still, Neal’s sad eyes knew it.
“It’s coming,” Baird said.
-----
Kel opened her eyes, exhausted and aching. She recognized the infirmary walls around her, but couldn’t for the life of her remember coming here. And why was she laying down? Was she sick? She didn’t understand anything anymore.
“You’re awake,” a voice said huskily. “I was so worried—I thought—His Grace was afraid—”
She turned her head and there was Faleron, looking as beautiful as ever. He was holding a pile of blankets in his arms. Why was he holding blankets?
“What’s going on?” she asked. Her voice sounded so frail in her ears. “What happened?”
“You were pregnant,” he said. Something jolted in her belly. “It made you sick. We thought you—I didn’t think you were going to make it.”
His eyes seemed shiny with unshed tears, but maybe it was her vision, which was blurry and strange. “The baby,” she whispered. “Did I have—or did it—did it—”
“Darling,” Faleron said, and suddenly his smile bloomed like a flower in the rain as he held out that mysterious bundle of blankets, “would you like to meet our daughter?”