Post by greenie on Aug 1, 2010 0:05:33 GMT 10
Title: Change of Heart
Rating: PG-13
Length: 1781 words
Original and Subsequent Haunts: Goldenlake and TKO
Summary: Alanna decides to take the Goddess's advice and learn to love.
Notes: The first ten quotes by the characters are not my own, they're directly from ‘In the Hand of the Goddess’ to show where this fic branches off from canon.
“How old are you, lass?”
Alanna blinked, and then gave George a reproachful smile. “You ought to know, I just turned fifteen.”
George smiled back at her, and Alanna stiffened in surprise as he suddenly took one of her hands in both of his. “We marry as young as fifteen here in the city,” he told her.
Alanna gave a nervous laugh. “I’m not going to marry, George, you know that.”
George’s eyes were sparkling oddly at her. “Shouldn’t you know what love’s like before you begin renouncin’ it?” he asked. He stood, his hands pulling her up with him and close against his body. She stared at him wide-eyed, knowing that this was somehow different to any other time she’d been close to a boy – or a man. There were no fighting techniques being demonstrated now, no play fights over something unimportant, no friendly elbow in her side. This was different, and he’d said the word ‘love’.
“George, you’ve been celebrating too much.” Her voice sounded rushed and panicked, and she could feel her heart beating far too quickly. She swallowed hard and resolved to keep her tone even and calm. “I never thought I’d hear you talk like this.”
He shrugged. “Why not?”
“Because-“ Shouldn’t it be obvious? Because no man would ever want a woman like Alanna. Because she didn’t know what she was doing. Because she was scared… but she wouldn’t tell him any of that. “Well, because… you know me better. I have other plans.” And those other plans left no room for scary, complicated things like husbands.
George smiled at her. “You’re not even curious?”
No, she wanted to say, but her mouth couldn’t obey when her mind wouldn’t agree. Perhaps she should be curious, just a tiny little bit. Hadn’t the Goddess told her that she should learn to love?
“I thought so,” George murmured, and then he bent down and his warm lips brushed against her own. Alanna froze, too surprised and afraid to do anything other than let him do it. A small voice inside her head taunted her, pointing out how this was actually quite nice, and that maybe she should continue.
Alanna refused to let herself listen to it. She shoved at George with her free hand and tore her other one from his grasp before taking several steps backwards and away from him.
“You’re trembling,” George said. “I can see it from here. You’re afraid.”
“I’m not.” Even her voice trembled, and she stuck her nose up in the air and glared as Faithful gave a mrrt of catlike laughter.
“You don’t need to be afraid of me, Alanna. You know I’d never hurt you, especially with your magical talking furball around.”
Faithful sprang onto George’s back. “Hey,” George protested as claws dug into his skin. “That was a compliment.”
Faithful flicked his tail in George’s face, and then jumped down to the floor and brushed himself around Alanna’s legs.
George sighed. “I’m sorry,” he told her. “I shouldn’t have done what I did without your spoken permission. Let’s get your things and I’ll walk you back to the temple district.”
Alanna blinked. “You want to get rid of me?”
George raised an eyebrow. “I thought you wanted to leave.”
Alanna felt torn – she wanted to go, to never speak of what they had done again… and at the same time, she wanted to stay. She wanted more. “I don’t know what I want,” she said, her voice shaking.
“I think you do know. If you hadn’t wanted me to kiss you at all, you’d have shouted and stormed out.” Alanna turned red and looked at the floor. “Why don’t we sit down and have some tea?” he suggested.
Alanna shook her head. “I don’t want tea.”
“Something stronger? Brandy?”
Alanna looked at him wide-eyed, her gaze flicking to the bed and then back to him. “Are you trying to get me drunk?”
George chuckled. “Mistrustful lass. I wouldn’t ever.” Alanna stood still, watching him and trembling, and he sighed. He stepped towards her and wrapped his arms around her small body. Alanna stiffened but gradually relaxed as she grew used to the feeling, and tentatively put her arms around him too. “Don’t be afraid,” he told her. “How about you go back to the palace and think things over?”
“Do you really want to marry me?” Alanna blurted out.
She could feel his chuckle, from the way she was right up against him. “Do you really find that so hard to believe?”
He really did seem to be interested in her, and only her. Perhaps this was what the Goddess had meant when she told Alanna to learn to love. She must have known that… that this would happen. Did that mean that Alanna was supposed to marry him?
“It’s too soon, I’m a squire, I’ve worked hard to get this far and I have other things to do.” She spoke as much to herself as she did to him.
“I know,” he murmured. “I’d never ask you to give that up. I wouldn’t want you to.”
“I think I should get back to the palace,” Alanna said finally. “Jon will be wondering where I am and I shouldn’t really have left, and it’s getting late.”
George let go of her and turned to help her pick up her things. “I’ll walk you back to the temple district,” he offered. “You’re not going to be too frightened to face me now, are you?”
“No.” Alanna wrapped her arms around Jon’s presents, hugging them close to her. “I just need to think, that’s all.”
George nodded and moved for the door.
“George…wait.” He stopped and turned, eyeing her curiously, and she looked at the floor as her face turned red. “I just…I wondered if you…um, could you-“
“Spit it out, lass.”
“Could you kiss me again before we go?”
…………………………………………….
“Where have you been?”
Alanna froze as a deep blue glow lit her room. “Out,” she said guiltily. She took the opportunity to turn her back on him and light a candle.
“You didn’t tell me you were going anywhere.” Accusation filled Jon’s voice. “What have you been doing?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, nobody goes out to do nothing. What were you doing?”
Alanna turned to face him again. “I was minding my own business,” she snapped. “And now I’m going to bed because it’s late and I’m tired and I would appreciate it if you left.”
Jon crossed his arms. “I’m not leaving until I find out why you were in the city. You didn’t even ask us if we wanted to come too.”
“It’s none of your business! Leave me alone.”
“It is my business. You’re my squire and I didn’t give you permission to leave.”
Alanna filled with fury. “I don’t need your permission!”
“You do.” The arrogance in his voice made her want to throw something at him. “I’m your knight-master and your prince.”
Alanna glared at him instead. “I didn’t ask for such a pigheaded knight-master.”
“Well, I wish I didn’t have such an obnoxious, irritating squire.”
His words stung. “Gary and Raoul both wanted me as their squire too.”
“How long until they found out your secret too? How long before they got fed up with their squire sneaking out behind their backs and finding male prostitutes to make her feel feminine?”
Alanna stared at him in shock, and then began to laugh as the reality of the situation caught up with her. “Is that really what you think?”
Jonathan blinked. “Isn’t that what you’ve been doing?”
“No!”
“But I caught you the other day piling your hair up on your head.”
“That’s no proof that I was…that I was with…that’s ridiculous, Jon!”
“Well…why have you been at the Dancing Dove behind our backs then?”
Alanna scratched her arm. “I was with George.”
Jon looked at her incredulously. “You’re bedding George?”
“It’s none of your business,” she snapped. She couldn’t help but add “What’s wrong with that?”
“You mean what’s wrong in letting him use you so that you feel feminine and he gets some easy sex?”
Alanna’s mouth fell open. “But it’s not like that. We… we’re…he’s good to me. And he’s in, he um, he likes me a lot. He said so.”
“Alanna, men say a lot of things. And you’re young, you’re not used to these kind of things.”
“Oh, and you know everything about it?” Alanna crossed her arms. “George wouldn’t say he loved me if he didn’t, and I’m not that young. People marry as young as fifteen in the city.”
“Marry? You’re going to marry him?”
Alanna suddenly looked a lot less sure of herself. “I don’t know,” she muttered. “He asked me to.”
In another situation, the look on Jon’s face and his apparent loss for words would have been funny. “How long has this been going on for?” he managed to ask eventually.
“A few months, since your birthday.”
“So that’s where you’ve been going when you were sneaking out?”
“Yes… you’re not really going to make me ask for permission every time, are you?”
Jon laughed. “I think I’d rather be spared the details.”
“Well, that’s not fair, I always have to listen to your details with Delia coming through the wall.”
Alanna was amused to see a faint blush rising on his cheeks. “Didn’t you say you were tired?” he asked. “I think you’d better get some sleep.”
…………………………………………..
“George?” Alanna used some of her Gift to light his room as she climbed in.
He sat up in bed and smiled at her. “Hello darlin’.” He watched as Alanna kicked her boots off and climbed onto the bed beside him. “Did Myles pass on the information about Tusaine?”
“Yes. It’s war, and we’re leaving in a month. You probably knew that already though.”
“That’s not really why you came down here, is it?”
“Not really.” George tucked an arm around her and she settled against his side. “Did you mean it when you said you wanted to marry me?”
“Of course.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”
“And once I get my shield, you’d come adventuring with me?”
“I’d be proud to.”
“Your mother helped me find a dress I could wear to be married in a couple of months ago,” Alanna admitted. “But I’ve been too…I just...I don’t know why I didn’t say anything.”
She felt him chuckle. “I understand.”
“But it’s different now, with the war.” Alanna reached for his hand and tucked her fingers through his. “We leave in a month, and I want to marry you before I go.”
Rating: PG-13
Length: 1781 words
Original and Subsequent Haunts: Goldenlake and TKO
Summary: Alanna decides to take the Goddess's advice and learn to love.
Notes: The first ten quotes by the characters are not my own, they're directly from ‘In the Hand of the Goddess’ to show where this fic branches off from canon.
“How old are you, lass?”
Alanna blinked, and then gave George a reproachful smile. “You ought to know, I just turned fifteen.”
George smiled back at her, and Alanna stiffened in surprise as he suddenly took one of her hands in both of his. “We marry as young as fifteen here in the city,” he told her.
Alanna gave a nervous laugh. “I’m not going to marry, George, you know that.”
George’s eyes were sparkling oddly at her. “Shouldn’t you know what love’s like before you begin renouncin’ it?” he asked. He stood, his hands pulling her up with him and close against his body. She stared at him wide-eyed, knowing that this was somehow different to any other time she’d been close to a boy – or a man. There were no fighting techniques being demonstrated now, no play fights over something unimportant, no friendly elbow in her side. This was different, and he’d said the word ‘love’.
“George, you’ve been celebrating too much.” Her voice sounded rushed and panicked, and she could feel her heart beating far too quickly. She swallowed hard and resolved to keep her tone even and calm. “I never thought I’d hear you talk like this.”
He shrugged. “Why not?”
“Because-“ Shouldn’t it be obvious? Because no man would ever want a woman like Alanna. Because she didn’t know what she was doing. Because she was scared… but she wouldn’t tell him any of that. “Well, because… you know me better. I have other plans.” And those other plans left no room for scary, complicated things like husbands.
George smiled at her. “You’re not even curious?”
No, she wanted to say, but her mouth couldn’t obey when her mind wouldn’t agree. Perhaps she should be curious, just a tiny little bit. Hadn’t the Goddess told her that she should learn to love?
“I thought so,” George murmured, and then he bent down and his warm lips brushed against her own. Alanna froze, too surprised and afraid to do anything other than let him do it. A small voice inside her head taunted her, pointing out how this was actually quite nice, and that maybe she should continue.
Alanna refused to let herself listen to it. She shoved at George with her free hand and tore her other one from his grasp before taking several steps backwards and away from him.
“You’re trembling,” George said. “I can see it from here. You’re afraid.”
“I’m not.” Even her voice trembled, and she stuck her nose up in the air and glared as Faithful gave a mrrt of catlike laughter.
“You don’t need to be afraid of me, Alanna. You know I’d never hurt you, especially with your magical talking furball around.”
Faithful sprang onto George’s back. “Hey,” George protested as claws dug into his skin. “That was a compliment.”
Faithful flicked his tail in George’s face, and then jumped down to the floor and brushed himself around Alanna’s legs.
George sighed. “I’m sorry,” he told her. “I shouldn’t have done what I did without your spoken permission. Let’s get your things and I’ll walk you back to the temple district.”
Alanna blinked. “You want to get rid of me?”
George raised an eyebrow. “I thought you wanted to leave.”
Alanna felt torn – she wanted to go, to never speak of what they had done again… and at the same time, she wanted to stay. She wanted more. “I don’t know what I want,” she said, her voice shaking.
“I think you do know. If you hadn’t wanted me to kiss you at all, you’d have shouted and stormed out.” Alanna turned red and looked at the floor. “Why don’t we sit down and have some tea?” he suggested.
Alanna shook her head. “I don’t want tea.”
“Something stronger? Brandy?”
Alanna looked at him wide-eyed, her gaze flicking to the bed and then back to him. “Are you trying to get me drunk?”
George chuckled. “Mistrustful lass. I wouldn’t ever.” Alanna stood still, watching him and trembling, and he sighed. He stepped towards her and wrapped his arms around her small body. Alanna stiffened but gradually relaxed as she grew used to the feeling, and tentatively put her arms around him too. “Don’t be afraid,” he told her. “How about you go back to the palace and think things over?”
“Do you really want to marry me?” Alanna blurted out.
She could feel his chuckle, from the way she was right up against him. “Do you really find that so hard to believe?”
He really did seem to be interested in her, and only her. Perhaps this was what the Goddess had meant when she told Alanna to learn to love. She must have known that… that this would happen. Did that mean that Alanna was supposed to marry him?
“It’s too soon, I’m a squire, I’ve worked hard to get this far and I have other things to do.” She spoke as much to herself as she did to him.
“I know,” he murmured. “I’d never ask you to give that up. I wouldn’t want you to.”
“I think I should get back to the palace,” Alanna said finally. “Jon will be wondering where I am and I shouldn’t really have left, and it’s getting late.”
George let go of her and turned to help her pick up her things. “I’ll walk you back to the temple district,” he offered. “You’re not going to be too frightened to face me now, are you?”
“No.” Alanna wrapped her arms around Jon’s presents, hugging them close to her. “I just need to think, that’s all.”
George nodded and moved for the door.
“George…wait.” He stopped and turned, eyeing her curiously, and she looked at the floor as her face turned red. “I just…I wondered if you…um, could you-“
“Spit it out, lass.”
“Could you kiss me again before we go?”
…………………………………………….
“Where have you been?”
Alanna froze as a deep blue glow lit her room. “Out,” she said guiltily. She took the opportunity to turn her back on him and light a candle.
“You didn’t tell me you were going anywhere.” Accusation filled Jon’s voice. “What have you been doing?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, nobody goes out to do nothing. What were you doing?”
Alanna turned to face him again. “I was minding my own business,” she snapped. “And now I’m going to bed because it’s late and I’m tired and I would appreciate it if you left.”
Jon crossed his arms. “I’m not leaving until I find out why you were in the city. You didn’t even ask us if we wanted to come too.”
“It’s none of your business! Leave me alone.”
“It is my business. You’re my squire and I didn’t give you permission to leave.”
Alanna filled with fury. “I don’t need your permission!”
“You do.” The arrogance in his voice made her want to throw something at him. “I’m your knight-master and your prince.”
Alanna glared at him instead. “I didn’t ask for such a pigheaded knight-master.”
“Well, I wish I didn’t have such an obnoxious, irritating squire.”
His words stung. “Gary and Raoul both wanted me as their squire too.”
“How long until they found out your secret too? How long before they got fed up with their squire sneaking out behind their backs and finding male prostitutes to make her feel feminine?”
Alanna stared at him in shock, and then began to laugh as the reality of the situation caught up with her. “Is that really what you think?”
Jonathan blinked. “Isn’t that what you’ve been doing?”
“No!”
“But I caught you the other day piling your hair up on your head.”
“That’s no proof that I was…that I was with…that’s ridiculous, Jon!”
“Well…why have you been at the Dancing Dove behind our backs then?”
Alanna scratched her arm. “I was with George.”
Jon looked at her incredulously. “You’re bedding George?”
“It’s none of your business,” she snapped. She couldn’t help but add “What’s wrong with that?”
“You mean what’s wrong in letting him use you so that you feel feminine and he gets some easy sex?”
Alanna’s mouth fell open. “But it’s not like that. We… we’re…he’s good to me. And he’s in, he um, he likes me a lot. He said so.”
“Alanna, men say a lot of things. And you’re young, you’re not used to these kind of things.”
“Oh, and you know everything about it?” Alanna crossed her arms. “George wouldn’t say he loved me if he didn’t, and I’m not that young. People marry as young as fifteen in the city.”
“Marry? You’re going to marry him?”
Alanna suddenly looked a lot less sure of herself. “I don’t know,” she muttered. “He asked me to.”
In another situation, the look on Jon’s face and his apparent loss for words would have been funny. “How long has this been going on for?” he managed to ask eventually.
“A few months, since your birthday.”
“So that’s where you’ve been going when you were sneaking out?”
“Yes… you’re not really going to make me ask for permission every time, are you?”
Jon laughed. “I think I’d rather be spared the details.”
“Well, that’s not fair, I always have to listen to your details with Delia coming through the wall.”
Alanna was amused to see a faint blush rising on his cheeks. “Didn’t you say you were tired?” he asked. “I think you’d better get some sleep.”
…………………………………………..
“George?” Alanna used some of her Gift to light his room as she climbed in.
He sat up in bed and smiled at her. “Hello darlin’.” He watched as Alanna kicked her boots off and climbed onto the bed beside him. “Did Myles pass on the information about Tusaine?”
“Yes. It’s war, and we’re leaving in a month. You probably knew that already though.”
“That’s not really why you came down here, is it?”
“Not really.” George tucked an arm around her and she settled against his side. “Did you mean it when you said you wanted to marry me?”
“Of course.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”
“And once I get my shield, you’d come adventuring with me?”
“I’d be proud to.”
“Your mother helped me find a dress I could wear to be married in a couple of months ago,” Alanna admitted. “But I’ve been too…I just...I don’t know why I didn’t say anything.”
She felt him chuckle. “I understand.”
“But it’s different now, with the war.” Alanna reached for his hand and tucked her fingers through his. “We leave in a month, and I want to marry you before I go.”