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Post by incarnadine on Jun 23, 2009 23:16:49 GMT 10
Title: The Last Time Rating: PG Prompt: #5 Summary: Tortall heals.
The earth heals after it's fashion. Fissures cleave and buds rise from tangled knots of deadwood. Rainwashed green sward mantles the bruised, bare brown earth.
He rides at the head of the Royal Supply Train. Hollow-eyed orphans race along it, cheering, while their sunken-cheeked mothers look on, too weak to do else.
He can almost hear Roger's laughter.
Never again, he vows and his fingers clench against the shimmering violet stone that fits into his palm.
A/N: Believe it or not, I didn't steal the idea from aniloverl! Coincidences can be really freaky sometimes.
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aurorax
Queen's Rider
Captain Crazy
Drabbling Away!
Posts: 507
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Post by aurorax on Jun 23, 2009 23:43:22 GMT 10
Wow, I really love the idea of the land itself healing in these, rather than a specific person. I love the tone you've captured in this, with the joy of victory and the children's cheers mixing with the sorrow of those old enough to know how bad things might get. My favorite line is definitely the one about Roger's laugh, that is so true and seems like something Jon would think as he is just getting used to having to make the hard decisions as king. Great writing!
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anilaurel
Queen's Rider
Posts: 505
Gender: Other
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Post by anilaurel on Jun 24, 2009 6:08:14 GMT 10
This was good, i know you didn't steal it we are just both a little weird.
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Post by ubiquitous on Jun 24, 2009 14:31:08 GMT 10
Very nicely done! I love the last line. (I reckon it's probably just a case of great minds thinking alike ^.^)
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anilaurel
Queen's Rider
Posts: 505
Gender: Other
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Post by anilaurel on Jul 2, 2009 3:05:31 GMT 10
Well I'm crazy
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rubberduck
Queen's Rider
Likes Uline... nom nom nom nom
Posts: 546
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Post by rubberduck on Jul 11, 2009 15:06:37 GMT 10
This is brilliant.. But one thing I did pick up on is that you said orphans and then afterwards spoke of their mothers?
It is a lovely little piece though!
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Post by Katty on Jul 13, 2009 19:53:04 GMT 10
Sad, but lovely
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