Post by Lisa on Jan 3, 2010 15:55:17 GMT 10
Letters to Miss R. A. Oul
by Lisafer and Rosie
Dear Miss R. A. Oul –
I’m the victim of an arranged marriage with a noble from a neighboring country, but I’m afraid I’ll never learn to love him. He’s barely older than me, and I can’t find myself attracted to anyone who is younger than thirty. What should I do?
- Picky Princess
Dear Picky Princess,
Choose your advisers wisely, and don't be afraid to turn to them in times of need. Remember who has, er, served you well in the past.
Forever yours,
Miss R A Oul
P.S. I can pack at a moment's notice.
***
Dear Miss R. A. Oul,
Everyone seems to be enormously interested in my love-life, and it’s driving me crazy! I’m too busy for any kind of match-making, and I’ve made it perfectly clear. How can I get all those weird and wonderful pairings out of people’s heads?
Sincerely,
Busy on the Border
Dear Busy (with whom??) on the Border,
If you want to stave those gossiping tongues, I suggest getting hitched. It'll be a magical, memorable day, and afterwards, those meddlesome fiends won't dream of attaching you to the nearest passer-by. Worked wonders for my wife and her girlfriend.
I'll expect my invite by Midwinter. Please provide adequate drapery.
Love,
Miss R A Oul
***
Miss R.A. Oul –
I am writing to complain of the miserable advice you’ve handed out to your readers. I would have suggested that “Been There, Done All of Them” clearly should go to an accomplished plant mage (we are not so uncommon that she could not find one) to see if there was a salve or lotion to help her. These people have serious problems and need reasonable advice!
- Dedicate Cantankerous
Dear Decidedly Cantankerous,
Perhaps you should start your own advice column. Then, (unlike now) people might care for your opinion. I happen to know "Been There, Done All of Them" was very grateful for the advice I gave her.
- Miss R A Oul
Journalist and Noble Adviser
***
Miss R. A. Oul:
You and the Third Company are needed in Corus. I’m tired of waiting.
- Your King
Don't you have more important things to do than wasting Palace supplies (and time) in this manner?