Lass
Rider Trainee
Hey there!
Posts: 83
|
Post by Lass on May 4, 2009 9:57:00 GMT 10
Title: 4, Not 5 Rating: G Genre: Angst (I guess? I don't quite no what genre...) Series: The Circle Reforged Summary: Comas listens. Author's Notes: Just wanted to see how people will react. I haven't written any fan fic, EVER, so we will see how this goes. ____________________________________________________
Discipline Cottage was busy today. The four who were his idols were “home” for a visit. He stayed upstairs in his room, the door shut tight. He could hear his four heroes from where he sat at his desk.
“Sandry, leave my dress alone…it’s fine.” --- Tris
“By the gods will I have no rest?” --- Daja.
“Oh hold still.” --- Sandry.
“Don’t be such a bleater. Here Sandry, you can hem my shirt.” ---Briar.
One, two, three, four… no more, no less.
The four mages continued to argue, unaware that Comas listened. He stared at his door with longing. He knew there could never be a fifth.
|
|
Rojo
Queen's Rider
There once was a girl who was told she could, and so she did.
Posts: 660
|
Post by Rojo on May 4, 2009 10:00:53 GMT 10
I love this. Love, love, LOVE it!
♥♥♥
|
|
Lass
Rider Trainee
Hey there!
Posts: 83
|
Post by Lass on May 4, 2009 10:02:20 GMT 10
*blush* Could you tell me what you liked about it, please? I'm in the not-so-sure-of-self-first-timer-fanfic-stage...
|
|
Mirage
Probationer Page
Ari-
Posts: 117
|
Post by Mirage on May 4, 2009 10:57:38 GMT 10
"He stared at his door with longing. He knew there could never be a fifth."
It conveys so much...for lack of a better word, longing. Very nicely done.
[Also a must mention but totally irrelevant: one, two, three, four; I declare a thumb war. ^^"]
|
|
Lass
Rider Trainee
Hey there!
Posts: 83
|
Post by Lass on May 4, 2009 11:11:24 GMT 10
Thank you. Yeah, I know. I was wondering if anyone would think about that. Haha!
|
|
|
Post by ubiquitous on May 4, 2009 13:27:50 GMT 10
Nicely done. Especially that last line! BTW - are you entering this for the Drabble Tournament? If so, you'll have to post this in the Competitions and Exchanges part of board as well.
|
|
Lass
Rider Trainee
Hey there!
Posts: 83
|
Post by Lass on May 4, 2009 13:34:58 GMT 10
Haha, I was thinking about it. I think I might. I'm glad you liked it.
|
|
|
Post by kaossparrow on May 5, 2009 7:49:58 GMT 10
This is a wonderful, spot-on portrayal of a hardly-mentioned character. HEARTS!
|
|
|
Post by Lisa on May 5, 2009 8:50:55 GMT 10
I think this is great - the beauty of a drabble always seems to be what's NOT said, the little things that lurk between the lines. The idea of being an outsider is something so wonderfully between-the-lines as it is that it lends itself perfectly to the drabble format.
EXCELLENT job!! ^___^
|
|
Lass
Rider Trainee
Hey there!
Posts: 83
|
Post by Lass on May 5, 2009 8:52:53 GMT 10
Gracias amigas. I am happy ya'll like it so.
|
|
|
Post by mistrali on Feb 17, 2014 20:39:59 GMT 10
Oh, I just adore this. Comas is never written about.
|
|
Lass
Rider Trainee
Hey there!
Posts: 83
|
Post by Lass on Jul 5, 2014 12:13:36 GMT 10
Oh wow! Someone read this just recently. That's so sweet. I just decided to check this account for the first time in like, 5 years. I'm so happy you like it, mistrali.
|
|
Vala
Page
“Every now and then I like to do as I'm told, just to confuse people.”
Posts: 466
|
Post by Vala on May 14, 2016 20:34:23 GMT 10
This is so sad, but true. Great story
|
|