Post by hawksandfeathers on Mar 2, 2013 4:42:29 GMT 10
Rating: PG
Word Count: 640
Summary (and any warnings): Spread over Terrier to Trickster's Queen.
Notes: Very loose time frame.
There is very little sense of time in this book, being that I'm a god, and have no need for confines like that.
Entry 1: Extremely annoyed. Stupid siblings stole country. Always knew they were jealous, conniving thieves.
Later: Told me I was a hypocrite and unleashed damned superior powers on me. In turn unleashed my wit. Tongues were tied for a while.
Entry 2: Rosto the Piper great King of Rogue. I wish him success on wooing that girl. Dogs are so stubborn they could almost be gods, too.
Later: How things fly! Girl already married to some poor idiot and Rosto morose. Does not help with services. Rosto hasn't called for help once today. Should sue Dog.
Entry 3: Have nowhere to go. Went to Corus and spied on the Goddess' messengers. She deserves it. Slept with a hazel-eyed girl. Have a thing for hazel-eyed girls.
Entry 4: Contrary to popular speculation amongst fellow gods and mortals, I am not George's father. Sheesh. All my previous messengers think I'm biased.
Entry 5: Told Dawn Crow and Sky to lay more eggs. Said they need to improve their marital life. Truthfully, want bigger crow army.
Entry 6: Played a game of chess with the Graveyard Hag. She cheats. I don't think anyone knows except me.
Entry 7: Asked the Goddess for advice on clothes. Said I should wear fishnet tights. Sneered at me again.
Entry 8: Got a wonderful fishnet made with highest-quality rope. Wear it as a cloak. Mithros told me to smarten up and stop taking sister's advice. Confided that he thinks her hair looks horribly snaky. Had a good laugh and some beer.
Entry 9: George is wreaking havoc already. Lovely. Parenting is working.
Entry 10: Mithros and I watched lance tournaments. Very fun. Brought nachos.
Entry 11: Tried to take Wave-Walker on magic carpet. Gave her gillyflowers. She threw them into the sea and screamed up a storm. Literally. Feel bad for the Adventurer out there.
Entry 12: Pretended to be frog today. Some fluttery court girl kissed me and I turned into a hideous demon. Chuckled creepily when she shrieked. Told her in a scary voice never to believe fairy tales again. Felt much satisfied.
Entry 13: Met new messenger. Sneaky - check. Witty - check. Resourceful - check. Hazel-eyed - check. Oh, and she's also George's daughter. Double-check.
Entry 14: Planning rebellion. Much twiddling of thumbs and steepled hands. Goddess looked at me strangely. Chortled wickedly in my head.
Later: Goddess brought me biscuits. Feel slightly remorseful. Not enough, though.
Entry 15: Rebellion progressing beautifully. I love explosions. Must ask Hag to get me blaze-balm for my birthday.
Entry 16: Father Universe and Mother Flame called for a council. Arranged for us all to have a family dinner next millennium. Do not want to imagine possibilities. At least Uusoae not invited.
Entry 17: Almost have country back. Won't be long now.
Entry 18: Unconsolably irate. New messenger lost key catalyst for getting Copper Isles. Will outlaw elopement when I possess Isles.
Later: Change my mind. Enjoy seeing faces of lords when they realize their fiancées have run off. The nosebleeds take the cake. Purple faces are always good too.
Entry 19: Have no luck with women. Weiryn always gets them. Maybe I should trap him for a bit so I can snag Sarra for tonight.
Entry 20: Weiryn tried to shoot me with arrow. Have large gash. Will heal soon. Sarra too loyal. Wonder why. He never wears anything but a loincloth.
Entry 21: Have Isles with Dove as queen. Messenger has married a crow. Desolately disappointed.