Post by Cass on Apr 9, 2012 6:33:50 GMT 10
A Day In the Life of... a Rogue
by Shhasow
So you wan’ t’ know more ‘bout the Rogue, do ya? A lot o’ brass, you’ve got. Lucky for you, I’m in a gen'rous mood. Don’ expect it t’ last, boy, and don’ ask too many questions if you wan’ t’ keep all yer nimbles.
Ah, I think you wan’ t’ see me collection. Every Rogue has one. Sometime it be toes, nose, or eyes. Tha’ was a good Rogue, ‘e was. Didn’ take nothin’ from no one. One pansy took nails. I don’ stop there - I take the whole thing. You like, boy? Good, you don’ flinch at the smell. That’s righ’, I like t’ keep em fresh. I’d druther smell chemical than rot.
What can I say, boy, I’m a generous Rogue. I take nimbles cause I b’lieve in secon’ chances. A man, ‘e prizes his hands. The more nimbles I take, the less they can do, see? Aye lad, you’re a sharp’n. The less they can do t’ me.
Nah, I can’t give away all me secrets. The Rogue is in danger every secon’. Never know oo’s lurkin’, cause every jump’d up pocket-lifter wants to prove ‘imself. I don’ bother with nimbles when tha’ happens - traitors lose both ‘ands an’ I leave ‘em for people t’ see.
Ain’t jus’ me own people oo wan’ me. The Provos’, ‘e and ‘is guards, they always be sniffin’ ‘round, tryin’ to pin somethin’ on me tha’ll stick.
Wha? O’ course I knew tha’ - you take me for some kinda fool? They can call ‘emselves wha’ they want, but we know they’re jus’ mongrels.
You ever gotten caught, boy? Nah, don’ answer. I chang’d me mind. I don’ care. You’re jus’ a nobody. I’m talkin’ ‘bout me.
You see how they all avoid me eye? How they sneak away, as like I don’ see ‘em? Tha’s a guilty mind, boy. I’ll get me boys on ‘em. I’m the firs’ Rogue in a lon’ while wit’ the brass t’ walk open in the streets, like. Coward, the las’ Rogue, ‘e was, never walked in daylight. An’ the one b’fore, ‘e always wore a disguise.
Me, even those who ain’t thieves - sheep, I call ‘em, ‘cause I protect ‘em and I fleece ‘em, har! har! - even they ken who I am. Even the Dogs ken, but they won’ dare attack me here.
This is power, boy. I am the closes’ thing to royalty these sheep will ever see. Tha’ nambly noble on the ‘ill, ‘e migh’ as well be dead. I am King. I give ‘em me laws and I give ‘em pain when they break ‘em. I am Mithros.
Ah, here we be, Cour’ of the Rogue. Mine.
See tha’ great brute in the corner? ‘e’s from Scanra. ‘e’d like to kill me, but I ken ‘is secrets. Ev’ry man ‘as a weakness, boy, and if’n you find it, you control ‘em.
Like tha’ little sly slip in black, ‘e’s another one. Deft hand wit’ a dagger, but ‘e likes ‘is women. I keep ‘im alive for now ‘cause ‘e amuses me wit’ ‘is glares an’ scowls, but one of ‘em flower girls, they got orders t’ finish ‘im off when they like. When I say.
Tha’ be another thing - let ‘em think they got power. Not a lot - it goes t’ a man’s head fas’, makes ‘im ‘ave dangerous thoughts, but a little ‘elps ‘im think ‘e ‘as control. ‘e don’, of course. I am the Rogue. I control ev’rythin’.
Drink up, boy. Tha’ll put some ‘air on yer chest. Better.
You got t’ be manly t’ be Rogue, boy. Let them preenin’ nobles ‘ave their grand names. You’d never see a Jasson or Roald or Jonathon as King of Low’r Corus!
An’ you. You’d bett’r change yer name if’n you wan’ t’ make it in the Court. George, wha’ is tha’? Name of a sheep, I say.
I don’ care if’n yer mammy gave it t’ you. You won’ go nowhere until you ain’t suckin’ a’ ‘er teat no more. An’ why’d you pick such a daft title? Ain’t no pipes down ‘ere tha’ I’ve ev’r seen.
Harharhar! A story? By yer ma? Where’d she ‘ear it, from a man she spreads ‘er legs t’?
Oh, don’ lose yer ‘ead, boy.
Yer da says it too? Boy, you ain’t got a da.
Nah, don’ leave. I nev’r laugh’d so ‘ard in years, boy.
I said, don’ leave, Mr. The Pip’r.
I ain’t told you nothin’ yet.