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Post by Cass on Dec 22, 2011 8:50:37 GMT 10
NOMINEE FOR PROM KING #1: JONATHAN1. Please tell us a bit about yourself?I’m afraid my story has something of a rough beginning. You see, I was nearly murdered – ah, one moment, I need to count. … one, two, three, f- does that one really count? I mean, well, I didn’t say ‘murdered by Roger’, so I guess it does, and then there… Oh Mithros. – Five. We’ll just say I was nearly murdered five times before I was crowned King of Tortall. We’re not even going to get into the endless assassination attempts afterwards. Really, it’s not easy being me. 2. What is your greatest achievement?
I dated three women at the same time. Though, really, it would have been more impressive if one wasn’t plotting to murder me and another completely insane, but at least I kept Alanna from finding out. Mostly. 3. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change and why?
You’re a wonderful comedian. Really! I like you. Can you do a Gary impression? I want to see his mustache! 4. If you could invite one person to dinner - dead, alive or fictional - who would you choose and why?
Oh, ho ho. Does it have to be one? Because, really, I can have anyone to ‘dinner’. It’s getting all of them to come to ‘dinner’ together. … You don’t mean an actual dinner, do you? Because if you are, that’s a stupid question, and I don’t like it. 5. What do you think is the most pressing social issue of your time?
Did you know there are people who don’t like me? I work and work telling Gary to do all the things that need to be done, and what thanks do it get? Lady Knights yelling at me from one side, wrinkly old people yammering on about ‘tradition’ and ‘family values’ on the other, and then my children stomp in, the ungrateful brats! What, you don’t like the husband I found you? Well, there are children in Galla who don’t have husbands! Like I said, ungrateful, the lot of them.
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Post by Cass on Dec 22, 2011 8:51:22 GMT 10
NOMINEE FOR PROM KING #2: GARY1. Please tell us a bit about yourself?
I’m Prime Minister. It means I run the country without actually getting credit for running the country. And, because Jon is a mean spirited drunk and someone made the mistake of leaving him a pen and legal paper during one of his sulks, I either have to wear a mustache or this ridiculous speckled hat he found rotting on a street when we were 12. Something about ‘dressing according to my station’. 2. What is your greatest achievement?
I made it through Alanna’s bath without busting a gut, for good or ill. Did you know the perfume made her sneeze incessantly? And she chirps when she sneezes. It’s the daintiest thing. It’s a wonder no one noticed how darling she sounded or she never would have won that shield. Of course, I was well beyond horrified when I noticed Jon constantly peeping and getting all hot under the collar during the whole thing. There are certain things I never want to know about my cousin. Not ever. 3. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change and why?
My job. I love it, the official duties, I really do. It’s the long hours of listening to Jon orate about himself. Yes, I know he has a chiseled jaw, but I really don’t need to hear about how he keeps his beard for the safety of the kingdom. Apparently, according to his majesty, if he were to shave, the very birds in the sky would swoon at the glory of his manly beauty. 4. If you could invite one person to dinner - dead, alive or fictional - who would you choose and why?
Roger. Definitely Roger. I feel there are certain things I’ve learned over the years that help me understand him better. 5. What do you think is the most pressing social issue of your time?
The squire shortage. Can’t a man get a little help around here now and again? But you finally get one good and trained, and some traveling knight comes and swoops him off to be fashionably muddy all day.
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Post by Cass on Dec 22, 2011 8:51:54 GMT 10
NOMINEE FOR PROM KING #3: BRIAR1. Please tell us a bit about yourself?I’m a bit of a gardener; a bit barmy about plants, really. Something about having dirt under my nails for all the right reasons gives me the happy rumbles. 2. What is your greatest achievement? I don’t know about this, much. I guess I make a solid willow bark tea, but my wispy weed poultice ain’t half a sneeze either. But, seriously, I’m standing here after ten years with Rosethorn? I can count the people who’ve managed that on one hand. 3. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change and why?I’d make myself, I dunno, bigger? Taller wouldn’t hurt, but as it is, Daja can knock my pretty self clear across the room by stretching when she’s not looking. It’s one thing for Sandry to be a bit delicate, but I have a manly reputation to build. 4. If you could invite one person to dinner - dead, alive or fictional - who would you choose and why?Rosethorn, back when she was my age. I’d like to see if she ever had to waffle around to figure out what to do with herself when she was young. 5. What do you think is the most pressing social issue of your time?I see a lot of things doing what I do; going where I go. I guess the silliest problem I see is sick people dying because they can’t get medicine. Why should people die when there’s a solution right here? I’m not talking the big scary stuff that’s always dangerous. I’m talking the little things that just need a good tea to set straight. It isn’t right.
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Post by Cass on Dec 22, 2011 8:52:23 GMT 10
NOMINEE FOR PROM KING #4: GARETH1. Please tell us a bit about yourself?I’ve lead armies, raised sons, reared kings, and trained legends. And that’s after I turned forty. 2. What is your greatest achievement? I look at King Jonathan; at my son. Raoul, commanding the King’s Own, and Alanna standing tall as King’s Champion. I look at them and remember them all below my shoulder, stumbling around in fistcuffs and sneaking off to the lower city thinking no one could tell where they were off too, and I’m amazed they’re all still breathing. Proud, but amazed. 3. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change and why?I’m an old man with an old heart, but I’ve got young grandchildren who need attention. More than anything, I want to march them around the training yards without Baird watching me like a vulture over dinner. I’m not ready to die just yet. 4. If you could invite one person to dinner - dead, alive or fictional - who would you choose and why?My wife. It’s been so many years since I’ve seen her, a gentle evening just the two of us would be more than any man could ask for. 5. What do you think is the most pressing social issue of your time?Not now. I’ve lived my life of politics. If you want to talk shop, go harangue the young folks. I’m on healer’s order to watch my blood pressure.
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Post by Cass on Dec 22, 2011 8:54:52 GMT 10
NOMINEE FOR PROM KING #5: ROGER1. Please tell us a bit about yourself?I am the rightful King of Tortall. I was heir apparent for fifteen years before Lianne managed to squeeze out that wailing cretin and I have compelling evidence Jonathan isn’t Roald’s son at all! Conte, certainly, but only a fool would be blind to Jonathan’s regal facial hair. He certainly didn’t inherit that smoothly shaven twit. Now, if you note my own leonine countenance… 2. What is your greatest achievement? I out did myself with Thom, I really did. Not only did I cheat death, turn a twin against his sister, and utterly ravish what good my nemesis managed to achieve during my internment, but I then murdered him shamelessly, used his powers against her, created a labyrinthine death working, and, well, honestly, if Alanna was less showy with all her ‘god-touched’ business and that nasty habit of snatching gaudy souvenirs from every corner of the world for that humorless upstart, I would have brought the entire country to its knees. That was a very good day, for the most part. 3. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change and why?You amuse me. Ask that again and I’ll use your eyes in my next working. 4. If you could invite one person to dinner - dead, alive or fictional - who would you choose and why?I think I would have to choose the ever incredible Alanna. The idea of forcing her to endure my presence in close quarters for an entire meal warms the cuckolds of my cold dead heart. 5. What do you think is the most pressing social issue of your time?I am not king. This must be rectified immediately.
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Post by Cass on Dec 22, 2011 8:56:11 GMT 10
NOMINEE FOR PROM KING #6: EVIN1. Please tell us a bit about yourself?Well, there’s not much to tell, really. I’m the middle child – three sisters above me, two below – and they’re all pretty dancing girls with tambourines. Which is just fine, really, except I can’t keep time to save my life. That’s why I’m a rider, you see. Buri could care less if you can keep rhythm as long as you can keep on your horse. 2. What is your greatest achievement? I guess it’s about time I finally rubbed their noses in it. Last Midwinter, I started a rumor with the wee little serving mites that if you could touch your tongue to the top of the Needle’s door frame, you’d get an extra wish that year. So, of course, they all started climbing around trying to touch their tongues to an arch ten feet tall. Wait around and watch the antics for a while and you’re bound to see some of the Own walk buy and try it. They have to. It’s some mad compulsion to fulfill any dare ever invented. Of course, then someone mentioned it to Miri and… well. You can guess. 3. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change and why?I have these arms – do you see them? And these legs as well. They’re like limp noodles, or dried earth worms. Completely harmless in theory, but when it comes time to pick a pony? They are devils spawn. Buri’s never been too tall for a pony. A man needs a pony to be taken serious in this town! 4. If you could invite one person to dinner - dead, alive or fictional - who would you choose and why?Can I invite Daine’s mother? Is that allowed? Because that woman has to be something to raise a kid like that on her own, not to mention catching a god’s eye with nothing but a bit of dancing. I bet she’d make my sisters green with envy. Uh, I should probably stop talking, just in case Big Horns has big ears, too. 5. What do you think is the most pressing social issue of your time?The bandits. It’s a problem that’s always there. Sure, hard times makes more of them, but there’s always that group who doesn’t want to work a steady job, who likes to hurt people and take things. I know it may not seem all that bad to people in the cities, but it’s my job. I have to watch what they do to innocent people every time I ride out. After a while, it makes a man wonder why it keeps happening.
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Post by Kypriotha on Jan 18, 2012 20:50:41 GMT 10
Also all wonderful, both the profiles and the pictures. I think my fave pictures are Briar, Gareth, Roger and Evin - and I like Jon's and Gary's too!
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hawksandfeathers
Soldier
Collector of Queenscove's Better Ideas
by wordy
Posts: 995
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Post by hawksandfeathers on Apr 8, 2013 5:22:43 GMT 10
Gary's, Evin's, and Roger's are *squee* but all of them are awesome. Cass, who is the man you used for the Gary photo?
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