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Post by journeycat on Mar 20, 2011 8:22:06 GMT 10
Title: Immortal Rating: G Word Count: 151 Pairing: Team Bend-a-lot (Jon/Zahir) Round/Fight: 1/A Summary: Even in the desert, Zahir finds something familiar.
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Zahir returned to his people two months after he turned eighteen.
He folded seamlessly back into this life, the one into which he was born. He was back among those as dark as him, with faces as hard and proud as his and a soul built for this wasteland, like his. We are immortal.
The sand beneath his feet was hot and unforgiving; his flesh had softened in the green lands. His shoulders and brow peeled under the scorching heat of the sun; it was far hotter here without shade and chilly winters. His mind was familiar with this place, but his body was not, and he had a difficult time readjusting to this different environment with its bleached colors of ochre and white—
—but when the sun set, and the sky turned its myriad colors, Zahir thought that the blue was almost, almost, the familiar color of royal blue eyes.
QC by: greenie
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Post by Seek on Mar 24, 2011 19:05:18 GMT 10
I love the way you write the Bazhir, you know. And the way you write the harsh and unforgiving aspects of desert life. And the ending really hit me, hard. Brilliant last line!
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Post by journeycat on Mar 27, 2011 3:38:55 GMT 10
Thank you so much - that really means a lot, because I'm so fascinated by the Bazhir but always worried I won't write them well.
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