Underage abortion restriction-laws

[Lisa]

LOL. Hey, I'm as liberal as the next socialist tree-hugger, but we DO have conservative people on the board who are pro-thought and deserve that respect.

/modliness

[boosette]

I agree with you! I just wish the ones who get elected would be louder, so as to drown out their idiot-counterparts. (Likewise for elected liberals.)

[xxTunstall Chickxx]

Tsk, Sarah Palin.

However, I do believe if my parents were against abortion and I was pregnant but couldn´t support a child... I don´t know, it´s easier said than done to put yourself into somebody else´s shoes, but I wouldn´t bring a child into the world if I couldn´t care for it, I do think that I would abort. Once again, easier said than done, but it is not my parents I owe anything to, it´s the unborn child and to myself. I wouldn´t do that to anyone, and I wouldn´t do it to myself.

[Lisa]

I tend to agree with you - but I would still balk at TELLING my parents, let alone getting permission - and that's what this thread is addressing. There's so much outside pressure involved in shaping our decisions (or how we deal with the reactions to our decisions) that there's no way I could ever support a rule demanding parental consent for underage abortion.

[opalgirl]

That's precisely the point, Lisa.

Why should a young woman have to have her parents' permission in regards to her body and her future? It would be excellent if the parents were on board, but thinking they all would be is idealistic.

And where's the cut-off for laws like what are being suggested? 16? 18? 21?

Because, ultimately, unless the grandparents (the young mother's parents) wind up raising the child, it is her life and her future on the line. And the life of the child.

Some say 'well, if you're old enough to make 'em, you're old enough to raise them.'

I disagree. Abortion is not the only option, of course, but that's not here or there. If a young woman wants that choice and feels she cannot raise a child - or sees that having a child would continue the cycle of poverty - she should have it, without having to face judgement.

I'm nineteen - I do not feel ready to be responsible for a small child, never mind an infant. I can't imagine how much younger girls must feel. (And very young girls have the physical capability of conceiving.)

Society seems to have two contradictory views on teens: "Oh, you can be a grown-up now" and "you can't make your own decisions, let me make them for you."

[Mirage]

Nuh uh. It's more: "You should be a grown up by now."

The mention of cut-off age just emphasizes how bad the laws would be. Relying on birthdays to tell you when your body becomes your own seems fair stupid to me. And as for all the stuff people keep throwing to us, like "learn to deal with the consequences of your own actions" -- well, in that case, shouldn't you make it so that we aren't in danger of having to cope with the fallout of someone else's decision? And there's the whole worry of resentment issues coming from someone who truly did not want to be a mother and got vetoed over.

[Lisa]

And there's the whole worry of resentment issues coming from someone who truly did not want to be a mother and got vetoed over.

Just to play devil's advocate - what about girls who WANT to raise their children and their parents force them to abort?

[boosette]

There's resentment there, too. The difference, I think, is that the girl whose parents force her to abort (while traumatized) does not have to put her life on hold for the next 18 years while the girl whose parents force her to keep the baby (equally traumatized) does.

What about the girl who wants to keep her baby, but whose parents pressure/force her to give said child up for adoption.

None of the above should happen, ever.

[Lisa]

None of the above should happen, ever.

I'm completely with you - making the decision is hard enough (especially for someone who's underage). Forcing someone to make a decision is horrid no matter what.

I often feel a little sorry for guys who actually CARE what happens with the fetus they helped create, since they have no say in the outcome. (However, I understand why they can have no legal say, and I will stand by that 100%. It's a woman's/girl's decision no matter what, and NO ONE should actively or legally infringe upon it.)

[opalgirl]

May 3, 2009 10:09:11 GMT 10 @boosette said:

What about the girl who wants to keep her baby, but whose parents pressure/force her to give said child up for adoption.

That used to happen, quite regularly in North America during the '50s and '60s, I do believe. Fall pregnant, go away, come back sans baby. (My paternal grandmother was an exception to this.)

Parents should have their say - and yes, they're perfectly entitled to their opinions and their feelings - but they should NOT be able to force their daughter's hand through guilt-tripping, law, or otherwise.

[boosette]

May 3, 2009 11:14:53 GMT 10 Lisa said:

I often feel a little sorry for guys who actually CARE what happens with the fetus they helped create, since they have no say in the outcome.

Fathers' rights are a tricky issue - in an ideal world, both parents would agree upon the outcome of the pregnancy every time.

In reality, though, only the mother knows with 100% certainty the number of guys she had sex with; even if it was only one (even if they're married!), he doesn't know that and he can't know that. He can trust that his partner has had sex with him exclusively, but he can't know. (Short of prenatal genetic testing, and comes with a not insignificant chance of miscarriage. Postnatal genetic testing is an option, too, but doesn't address the man's responsibilities if the child isn't his. What does the woman get in that case after an injunction against abortion, a "sucks to be you"?).

That right there is why I think abortion is an exclusively female issue.

Which leads me to another question: Do y'all think we need an "abortion as an issue" thread, separate and distinct from this one?

[xxTunstall Chickxx]

As you mentioned, in the "ideal world". Too bad the ideal world isn't the one we live in. -sigh-
I was talking to a friend of mine in Delaware about this and she said she has a girl in her class who is pregnant and is keeping the baby, because her parents are forcing her to. This girl is thirteen. Thirteen, I'm still flabbergasted.

Isn't this thread, in its own way, already an "abortion is an issue" thread?

I think it's a female issue too, because really, it's the woman running the risks, it might very well be the woman's life on the line, it should be the woman's say.

[Lisa]

I agree that it should be the woman's say - especially legally - however, I do feel it's kind of hard on behalf of men for them to have no legal input.

I'm not saying I'd want to change the rules - I whole-heartedly defend them (for a plethora of reasons including male abuse of power) - but I do feel sorry for ANYONE who helps create a fetus and doesn't get to take part in the decision to terminate or carry to term, be them male or female.

While women are running the risk - and often have their lives on the line - it still makes me sad to think that a man has to sit by and have no say in his child's existence.

[jukebox]

I am pro-choice, but I know I would never have an abortion myself. I was adopted at birth, and could have easily been aborted. I thank the powers that be every day that my birth mother did not make that choice. Besides that, I get very easily attached to things, and would never be able to give up my baby (I think. Thankfully, I have not been in that situation) Furthermore, I don't believe ANYONE should dictate what a person does with their body, especially old men in DC who never will have to choose whether to have an abortion or not.