aurorax
Queen's Rider
Captain Crazy
Drabbling Away!
Posts: 507
|
Post by aurorax on Jan 2, 2010 3:15:54 GMT 10
Title: Other Girls Rating: PG Prompt: #16, Lies Summary: Jon screws up. Again.
She was ten, she was beautiful, and the world was at her feet. She remembered sitting with her father when she was very young, feeling the rough scratch of his beard on her cheek as he whispered in her ear. “This is Tortall,” he had said, “a place where women can do anything. You can be whatever you want”. The words had echoed through her mind, speaking of freedom and ambition and silver keys that could unlock any door. She spoke them softly under her breath as she jumped her horse for the first time, and held her first bow. During the attack on the Swoop, she was too frightened even to whisper, so she played them in her mind, a fiery blaze of hope when the darkness seemed eternal. It made it that much harder, to learn that it had all been a lie.
She was ten, she was beautiful, and the world was at her feet. And in the end, it still wasn’t enough. Because she was a princess, she was a Conte, and dreaming was for other girls.
|
|
|
Post by wordy on Jan 2, 2010 16:23:35 GMT 10
I love this. Especially how Jon tells her she can be whatever she wants, but that's obviously not true for her. I missed your writing!
|
|
|
Post by Lisa on Jan 3, 2010 5:09:53 GMT 10
This entire scenario makes me so sad, because Jon isn't completely wrong - but it's still so horrid for Kalasin (assuming she still wanted to be a knight, that is, as in this story's case). Poor girl.
|
|
|
Post by Verasque on Jan 3, 2010 12:54:51 GMT 10
I love how you had the two of them clash here, especially since Kally and Jon share the same dilemma, share the same hopes for things unattainable to them. Once again, this was yet another example of the depth of your prose, and understanding. Lovely.
|
|
|
Post by greenie on Jan 8, 2010 10:43:14 GMT 10
I love how you manage to convey so much in so few words, and the way you write this is lovely. And your summary makes me laugh.
|
|
aurorax
Queen's Rider
Captain Crazy
Drabbling Away!
Posts: 507
|
Post by aurorax on Jan 27, 2010 12:06:20 GMT 10
Thank you everyone!
|
|
|
Post by mistrali on Jan 28, 2013 13:54:10 GMT 10
Oh, poor Kally. My Kalasin feelings just went ka-thump again. That last sentence was great, particularly "dreaming was for other girls".
|
|
hawksandfeathers
Soldier
Collector of Queenscove's Better Ideas
by wordy
Posts: 995
|
Post by hawksandfeathers on Feb 10, 2013 12:42:28 GMT 10
Grr, Jon. That last line made me want to knock some sense into him.
|
|