Post by wordy on Dec 4, 2010 15:56:33 GMT 10
Letters to Miss R A Oul
by Lisa, Rosie, and inthefire
Dear Miss R A Oul,
I’ve been waking up in the oddest of places lately– the stables, a hallway near the servants’ quarters, and all sorts of different empty rooms. It’s getting to be quite embarrassing!
Help?
Moustached Meanderer
Dear Moustached Meanderer,
I told you putting poppy in your wine was a bad decision, Gary, though Keladry and I certainly enjoyed your visit last night. Perhaps a hint that this habit should be kicked is your non-mention of the differing location of your clothes.
I’ll be watching you tonight,
Miss R A Oul
--
Dear Miss R A Oul,
I have a fondness for young foreign playthings, and I would appreciate it if you would send such specimens to Namorn with the next export load.
If you fail to do so, I will be forced to stop all trade with Tortall.
My thanks,
Bored Empress
Dear Bored Empress,
I would be pleased to send you such a present! Lately I’ve been busy lining up some boys that will serve your needs fantastically.
Enjoy!
Miss R A Oul
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Dear Miss R A Oul,
I’ve been trying to lead a rebellion, but it’s much harder than I thought it would be! Not everyone seems to want to listen to me, though can’t understand why.
Do you have any advice?
Traitorous Twin
Dear Traitorous Twin,
Quit while you’re ahead.
Miss R A Oul
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Dear Miss RA Oul -
I've been married for six months into a family that doesn't seem to listen to me. When I make suggestions about how to improve the nation, I'm completely brushed aside or ignored. Just because I oppose slavery!
What would you recommend I do to make myself heard?
Sincerely,
Deserted Empress.
Dear Deserted Empress,
Persevere! Not everybody approves of change, but sometimes foundations need to be shaken, and you need to tear things down to rebuild.
Should your relationship with your in-laws not improve after that, I suggest you invite a few old friends over, to make you feel more comfortable in your new home. I hear the Wild Mage caused quite a stir last time she was in town.
- Miss R A Oul.
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Dear Miss RA Oul:
My cousin has become the pride and joy of the family now that he's managed to use his tappy-feet to some good, but it's becoming embarrassing. I mean, I want him to fight crime, but I don't like it when he dances better than me at festivals!
- Humiliated Harrier
Humiliated Harrier,
The answer is there if you look for it! If you don't dance at the festivals, your cousin cannot possibly dance better than you. I have always found much success being the strong, silent type emulating a wall-hanging.
- Miss R A Oul.
--
Dear Miss RA Oul -
Over the last year I've become acquainted with an amazing girl who can't seem to look me in the eye - and I don't know if it's her shyness or if she's simply not interested in me. Could she be worried about the class-difference, or does she have a lover already? I'm afraid to pursue strongly, as this might make her more skittish.
- Love is (Legally) Blind
Dear Love is (Legally) Blind
I'm no expert, but eye-contact is more or less essential to maintaining a relationship (even if one of you has to stand on books to achieve it). I suggest you give this girl a wide berth for a while, and then you can reflect on whether your feelings are real, or just puppy-love. Besides, I hear absence makes the heart grow fonder, so perhaps before long, she'll be the one dogging your footsteps.
- Miss R A Oul.