SMACKDOWN (Dom): Here's Everything..., PG
Mar 11, 2010 0:17:56 GMT 10
Hopeless and Lady Olive of Masbolle like this
Post by wordy on Mar 11, 2010 0:17:56 GMT 10
Title: Here’s Everything I’ve Always Meant To Say
Rating: PG
Length: 2861
Competitor: Dom
Round/Fight: 2/B
Summary: Sequel to Perhaps.
A/N: Long fic is long! I got a bit carried away (oops?), but I’m kind of in love with it. I’m totally on a roll tonight! Title is a song by Jamison Parker.
Kel looked up at the knock on her door, smiling when she saw who it was. “Come to check up on me, have you?”
Raoul shrugged and walked over to her desk. “You could say that.”
“Not having any second thoughts, are you?” Kel leaned back in her chair and looked at her former knight-master with an appraising eye. He looked...happy. At ease. There were more lines around his mouth and dark eyes than when Kel had first met him, but they were put to good use now as he smiled down at her.
“Not at all,” he replied, smiling at her examination of him. “I suppose you’re wondering why I did it, and why now?”
Kel shrugged. “I don’t need to know. I’m only filling in anyway.” Although I would like to know why, and why now, she added silently.
Raoul must have read her mind, or else he knew her better than she thought. With a sigh, he sat on the edge of her desk, large hands folded before him. He looked down at her for a moment, before asking, “You remember the rule, how no one in the Own is permitted to be married?”
A small frown creased Kel’s forehead. “Of course. Except for the Knight Commander – “
Raoul nodded. “Look Kel, let me put it this way – I don’t think the Commander of the Own should be an exception to the rule. Jon obviously doesn’t feel that way, or at least not strongly enough to go to all the effort of changing the law. But I don’t agree with the double standard, and that’s partly why I decided to resign from the position.”
“I suppose that makes sense,” said Kel. “But why don’t you thing the commander should be an exception to the rule?”
Her former knight-master sighed, and raised a hand to rub his chin while he mulled over his answer. “I think it would depend on the person,” he said slowly, “but in my case...I think the notion applies to everyone, no matter their rank or position. I fell in love. I got married. The rule was there in the first place because what the Own do is dangerous, and every man needs to be fully committed to his job. That’s easier to deal with if you’re” – Kel thought for a moment that he was about to say ‘alone’ – “single,” he finished.
“I think I understand.”
Raoul shrugged. “It doesn’t matter if you do or you don’t. Everyone who is in a position like Commander of the Own needs to be able to decide that kind of thing by themselves.”
Kel nodded thoughtfully. She wondered if she would ever be in a position where she would make sacrifices with her work, simply because she loved someone. The Royal family had to make sacrifices, she reasoned, with young people such as Princess Kalasin giving up many things – her whole life in Tortall, the chance to choose her own husband – simply because of her birthright. But that was the opposite of what Raoul was talking about. Wasn’t it?
Looking at the older knight covertly from beneath lowered lashes, Kel wondered how much it had really cost him to give up the Own. If a situation arose where she needed to make a decision like that, would she be able to do it? And more importantly, would she make the right choice?
“Wait,” said Kel suddenly. Something had just occurred to her. “You said that was partly why you decided to retire from the Own. What else made you do it?”
Raoul smiled, getting up from the edge of the desk with a slight groan. He shrugged his broad shoulders, covered, as always, in the Goldenlake colours. “Sometimes you just know, Kel.”
“Know what?”
“When it’s time to move on.”
After he left, Kel sat still for a long time, chewing on her bottom lip and thinking about their conversation. However, there was always paperwork to be done as Commander of the Own, even if she was only acting-Commander. With a sigh, she returned to her work.
Kel was supervising a training session for some of the men when a familiar profile caught her attention. Walking over and stopping at a safe distance, she watched as Dom and an older man circled each other carefully, battle axes gripped firmly in their hands.
She had thought that she had gotten over her childish crushes and fickle feelings years ago, but the rules that applied to other men didn’t seem to apply to Dom. Every time he looked at her and smiled, she still got that fizzy, heart-racing feeling that she had experience the first time they had met.
Watching the two men spar, her eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to the appealing way Dom’s blue tunic stretched across his muscled back, or the way his brow contracted when he was concentrating. She gave herself a few more moments to watch the two of them, before turning and making herself move on to another group. It was definitely not in her best interest to remain in Dom’s company for such prolonged periods of time.
It was just Kel’s luck that the Midwinter Ball fell during the time she was still acting-Commander of the Own. She had grown to detest most of the elaborate events held at the palace, though it was a small consolation that she got to see quite a few of her friends at such occasions.
Kel was wondering which of her friends would be attending that night, when Lalasa straightened from applying the final alterations to her gown. She gestured for her former mistress to step down off the stool and look in the mirror. Kel obliged, only to catch her breath in wonder as she stared at the woman in the mirror.
The corners of Lalasa’s mouth twitched up when she saw Kel’s reaction. “What do you think?”
Running her hands over the silky panels, Kel turned to her friend and smiled. “It’s...stunning. Though I shouldn’t have expected anything less.”
Lalasa waved away the praise with a plump hand. Walking over to arrange the skirt properly, she motioned to the mirror with a nod of her head. “Do you like the colour? I got it as close to your eye colour as possible, though it was difficult picking out the material when I hadn’t actually seen your eyes for four weeks.” She gave Kel a reproachful look, which made Kel laugh.
“I’m sorry Lalasa – I meant to visit sooner, truly I did.” She turned back to the mirror and leaned close to examine her eyes, before taking a step back once more. “It’s a lovely green. And it’s as close to my eyes as you’ll ever get, I’m afraid. They seem to change tone slightly, depending on the day.”
It really was a lovely dress. Every time Kel tried to look away from the mirror, her eyes were drawn back again. The colour reminded her of hunting in the forest, or the deep green-blue of a lake. Turning from side to side, Kel admired the way it made her waist look slimmer. The skirt was long and full, made up of identical panels. The sleeves were long and fitted – which she liked, but which was also practical for winter – although the neckline was wider than she usually wore, and sat low on her shoulders. She turned around to find Lalasa watching her with a bemused smile.
Kel shrugged her bare shoulders. “It’s perfect.”
“I know,” Lalasa said modestly. “Now take it off before you ruin it. I’ll come back and help you get dressed later tonight.”
Kel caught sight of Neal and Yuki almost immediately after setting foot into the ballroom. Making her way across to them through the growing crowd of people, she thanked the Goddess that Lalasa hadn’t decided to put her in a corset tonight; the fireplaces gave off a brilliant heat, warming up every corner of the grand room. Kel could already feel the light trickle of sweat running down her stockinged legs.
She had almost reached her two friends when she felt a familiar hand on her arm, and turned to find herself staring into the blue, blue eyes of Dom. Oh dear, she thought giddily.
“Kel,” he said in greeting. He was looking particularly handsome tonight, in dark blue.
“Dom,” she said pleasantly. She tried not to let her eyes roam over him, like they very much wanted to. Glancing past his left shoulder, she saw that Neal had caught sight of them and was making his way over.
She looked back in time to see Dom avert his eyes, a slight blush creeping over his cheeks. Kel looked down, not knowing if she should feel embarrassed or pleased that she had caught him looking at her bare shoulders. She decided on the latter, though, and raised her eyes once more, and trying to stand straight with her shoulders back. Dom smiled at her, and was about to say something, when,
“Kel! Dom!” Neal clapped his cousin on the shoulder and looked at the two of them cheerfully. Kel made a mental note to kick him later, if she got the chance.
“Meathead,” Dom said in greeting. His eyes were still on Kel. She smiled nervously and looked away. Dom finally looked away as well, turning to Neal with a grin. “Has the wife dragged you along, then?”
“Yes,” said Neal, rather mournfully. “Yuki delights in torturing me.”
“You love it,” Kel retorted. She knew that Neal loved balls just as much as he loved bad poetry. “It was probably you dragging Yuki along.”
Neal looked down his nose at her, while Dom stifled a laugh beside him. “I take offense to that,” he said, assuming a haughty tone. “And I will deny it until the day I die.”
Kel and Dom shared an amused look over Neal’s flair for dramatics, before Kel noticed the way Dom’s smile softened when he looked at her. She turned back to Neal. “And where is Yuki? I thought I saw her here a moment ago.”
He shrugged. “She could be anywhere. And it could take days to find her, she’s so tiny.”
Dom looked at him skeptically. “Are you supposed to talk about your wife like that?”
“Yes.”
“Really.”
“Really,” said Neal. “If you had a wife, you would know. The rules. Of wifehood,” he added.
Kel shook her head with a smile.
“Well,” said Dom, turning to Kel. “Would you do me the honour of the first dance?”
Neal looked at the two of them in interest, while Kel panicked silently. Why did Dom make her feel this way, scared and excited at the same time?
“Hold on,” Neal interjected suddenly. “What if I want the first dance with Kel?”
Dom gave him a look. “Surely that’s what your wife is for, Neal. Isn’t there a rule about that? In the rules? Of wifehood?”
Kel grinned as Dom took her hand and led her to the dance floor, leaving Neal fighting a smile of his own, before he disappeared to find his wife.
It was oddly comforting, the way Dom’s hand pressed against her back. She tried not to look too deeply into his eyes as he led her around the floor amongst the other dancing couples. Though it was very difficult, with his body so alarmingly close to hers. She also tried not to think about the thin layer of green silk that was almost the only barrier between them.
The two of them chatted about the Own as he spun her around the room. He asked her if she had spoken to Raoul, which she hesitated about before answering. Dom nodded when she finished.
“He said as much to me,” he said. There was a slight pause in their conversation before Kel brought herself to ask what she had been thinking.
“And...do you agree about the reasons he gave?”
“You mean about the Commander being the exception to the rule?” Dom asked. Kel nodded, not quite sure why she was suddenly nervous.
“I suppose I can’t really make an informed opinion,” he said slowly. She felt his hand tense slightly on her back. “Since I’m not the Commander, and I don’t know if...” He trailed off and Kel’s breath caught in her throat. I don’t know if there’s anyone I would need to do that for, was what she was sure he had been about to say. Maybe she was wrong, though. But when she looked up into his handsome face and saw the way he was looking questioningly at her, she was suddenly very sure.
Kel didn’t dance with Dom again that night. She told herself she wasn’t avoiding him – why would she be? – yet even the sight of him from across the crowded room made her heart thump and her stomach tingle uncertainly. She danced with Neal twice, and with Raoul once. She even danced with the Baron of Pirate’s Swoop, which was confusing and exhilarating at the same time.
She left shortly after midnight, sparing one parting glance at the beautifully decorated ballroom and the horde of dancing couples. She didn’t see Dom, which was perhaps for the best. The more she thought about it, the more confused she was. Before she worked out her feelings for Dom, she reasoned, maybe it was best that she stayed away from his disarming smile and searching blue eyes.
Maybe it was for the best.
Two weeks passed by. Not that Kel was counting. She got the feeling that Dom had caught on to her reluctance to be in his company, for he didn’t seek her out like he usually did. He didn’t even look at her, unless she was talking to the men, or if he was replying to one of her queries during training. That hurt more than it should.
She was sitting in her office one afternoon - Mithros, she really needed to stop calling it her office - filling out a report, when there was a knock at the door. Looking up, she was caught completely unaware when she saw it was Dom standing in the doorway, hands tucked into the pockets of his breeches.
“Dom,” she said, because she couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Kel,” he said, walking over to stand in front of her desk. It was rather off-putting seeing him up close after so many weeks of trying to avoid such a thing, especially when he looked so good. Kel cleared her throat and looked down at the desk top when she realised she had been staring rather fixedly at the open V of his shirt, and at the tanned plane of his chest beneath it.
“Kel, we need to talk,” he said.
“We do?”
“Yes,” he said, looking her in the eye. And just like that, she was trapped. She couldn’t look away.
“What – what about?” Her voice faltered slightly. Dom seemed to notice her growing uncertainty, for he leaned forward against the desk. Kel noticed that his shirt sleeves were rolled up.
“I think you know what about,” he said softly.
Kel’s mouth felt dry. She knew. She had been trying to figure it out for weeks, long before the Midwinter Ball. Maybe she had even been trying to piece it together from the first day they had met, when she was nothing but a green squire. “Dom,” she began hesitantly. “I – I can’t.”
“Why not?”
When she didn’t reply, he swept around the side of her desk and pulled her out of her chair. He didn’t let go of her arms as he searched her face, and for the first time in her life Kel thought that she might swoon.
“Why not?” he repeated.
Kel licked her dry lips. “I –I’m the Commander...”
“No, Kel, you’re not,” he said fiercely. “Why are you making excuses?”
Kel looked away from the intensity of his gaze, glad that he was holding her up. “I don’t know.”
His eyes softened. “Kel, I think you do know.”
“I’m...afraid.”
She had been worried about his reaction to those words. She had been worried about her own reaction, and why she even felt like that in the first place. What she had not expected was the way he looked at her, and the way that he shifted his hands so that he was almost cradling her in his strong arms.
When he leaned in to kiss her, Kel closed her eyes and just let it all go.
After a moment, he moved to pull back, but Kel put her arms around him and pulled him closer. He deepened the kiss gratefully, until she felt that they were melting into each other.
He moved to pull back once more, and this time Kel let him, though they still didn’t let go of each other. “Everything’s okay,” he said, his voice slightly husky from the passion of their kiss. “And we’re just going to take this one step at a time.”
Kel smiled, pulling herself closer and resting her head in the curve of his neck. “One step at a time.”
Rating: PG
Length: 2861
Competitor: Dom
Round/Fight: 2/B
Summary: Sequel to Perhaps.
A/N: Long fic is long! I got a bit carried away (oops?), but I’m kind of in love with it. I’m totally on a roll tonight! Title is a song by Jamison Parker.
Kel looked up at the knock on her door, smiling when she saw who it was. “Come to check up on me, have you?”
Raoul shrugged and walked over to her desk. “You could say that.”
“Not having any second thoughts, are you?” Kel leaned back in her chair and looked at her former knight-master with an appraising eye. He looked...happy. At ease. There were more lines around his mouth and dark eyes than when Kel had first met him, but they were put to good use now as he smiled down at her.
“Not at all,” he replied, smiling at her examination of him. “I suppose you’re wondering why I did it, and why now?”
Kel shrugged. “I don’t need to know. I’m only filling in anyway.” Although I would like to know why, and why now, she added silently.
Raoul must have read her mind, or else he knew her better than she thought. With a sigh, he sat on the edge of her desk, large hands folded before him. He looked down at her for a moment, before asking, “You remember the rule, how no one in the Own is permitted to be married?”
A small frown creased Kel’s forehead. “Of course. Except for the Knight Commander – “
Raoul nodded. “Look Kel, let me put it this way – I don’t think the Commander of the Own should be an exception to the rule. Jon obviously doesn’t feel that way, or at least not strongly enough to go to all the effort of changing the law. But I don’t agree with the double standard, and that’s partly why I decided to resign from the position.”
“I suppose that makes sense,” said Kel. “But why don’t you thing the commander should be an exception to the rule?”
Her former knight-master sighed, and raised a hand to rub his chin while he mulled over his answer. “I think it would depend on the person,” he said slowly, “but in my case...I think the notion applies to everyone, no matter their rank or position. I fell in love. I got married. The rule was there in the first place because what the Own do is dangerous, and every man needs to be fully committed to his job. That’s easier to deal with if you’re” – Kel thought for a moment that he was about to say ‘alone’ – “single,” he finished.
“I think I understand.”
Raoul shrugged. “It doesn’t matter if you do or you don’t. Everyone who is in a position like Commander of the Own needs to be able to decide that kind of thing by themselves.”
Kel nodded thoughtfully. She wondered if she would ever be in a position where she would make sacrifices with her work, simply because she loved someone. The Royal family had to make sacrifices, she reasoned, with young people such as Princess Kalasin giving up many things – her whole life in Tortall, the chance to choose her own husband – simply because of her birthright. But that was the opposite of what Raoul was talking about. Wasn’t it?
Looking at the older knight covertly from beneath lowered lashes, Kel wondered how much it had really cost him to give up the Own. If a situation arose where she needed to make a decision like that, would she be able to do it? And more importantly, would she make the right choice?
“Wait,” said Kel suddenly. Something had just occurred to her. “You said that was partly why you decided to retire from the Own. What else made you do it?”
Raoul smiled, getting up from the edge of the desk with a slight groan. He shrugged his broad shoulders, covered, as always, in the Goldenlake colours. “Sometimes you just know, Kel.”
“Know what?”
“When it’s time to move on.”
After he left, Kel sat still for a long time, chewing on her bottom lip and thinking about their conversation. However, there was always paperwork to be done as Commander of the Own, even if she was only acting-Commander. With a sigh, she returned to her work.
***
Kel was supervising a training session for some of the men when a familiar profile caught her attention. Walking over and stopping at a safe distance, she watched as Dom and an older man circled each other carefully, battle axes gripped firmly in their hands.
She had thought that she had gotten over her childish crushes and fickle feelings years ago, but the rules that applied to other men didn’t seem to apply to Dom. Every time he looked at her and smiled, she still got that fizzy, heart-racing feeling that she had experience the first time they had met.
Watching the two men spar, her eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to the appealing way Dom’s blue tunic stretched across his muscled back, or the way his brow contracted when he was concentrating. She gave herself a few more moments to watch the two of them, before turning and making herself move on to another group. It was definitely not in her best interest to remain in Dom’s company for such prolonged periods of time.
***
It was just Kel’s luck that the Midwinter Ball fell during the time she was still acting-Commander of the Own. She had grown to detest most of the elaborate events held at the palace, though it was a small consolation that she got to see quite a few of her friends at such occasions.
Kel was wondering which of her friends would be attending that night, when Lalasa straightened from applying the final alterations to her gown. She gestured for her former mistress to step down off the stool and look in the mirror. Kel obliged, only to catch her breath in wonder as she stared at the woman in the mirror.
The corners of Lalasa’s mouth twitched up when she saw Kel’s reaction. “What do you think?”
Running her hands over the silky panels, Kel turned to her friend and smiled. “It’s...stunning. Though I shouldn’t have expected anything less.”
Lalasa waved away the praise with a plump hand. Walking over to arrange the skirt properly, she motioned to the mirror with a nod of her head. “Do you like the colour? I got it as close to your eye colour as possible, though it was difficult picking out the material when I hadn’t actually seen your eyes for four weeks.” She gave Kel a reproachful look, which made Kel laugh.
“I’m sorry Lalasa – I meant to visit sooner, truly I did.” She turned back to the mirror and leaned close to examine her eyes, before taking a step back once more. “It’s a lovely green. And it’s as close to my eyes as you’ll ever get, I’m afraid. They seem to change tone slightly, depending on the day.”
It really was a lovely dress. Every time Kel tried to look away from the mirror, her eyes were drawn back again. The colour reminded her of hunting in the forest, or the deep green-blue of a lake. Turning from side to side, Kel admired the way it made her waist look slimmer. The skirt was long and full, made up of identical panels. The sleeves were long and fitted – which she liked, but which was also practical for winter – although the neckline was wider than she usually wore, and sat low on her shoulders. She turned around to find Lalasa watching her with a bemused smile.
Kel shrugged her bare shoulders. “It’s perfect.”
“I know,” Lalasa said modestly. “Now take it off before you ruin it. I’ll come back and help you get dressed later tonight.”
***
Kel caught sight of Neal and Yuki almost immediately after setting foot into the ballroom. Making her way across to them through the growing crowd of people, she thanked the Goddess that Lalasa hadn’t decided to put her in a corset tonight; the fireplaces gave off a brilliant heat, warming up every corner of the grand room. Kel could already feel the light trickle of sweat running down her stockinged legs.
She had almost reached her two friends when she felt a familiar hand on her arm, and turned to find herself staring into the blue, blue eyes of Dom. Oh dear, she thought giddily.
“Kel,” he said in greeting. He was looking particularly handsome tonight, in dark blue.
“Dom,” she said pleasantly. She tried not to let her eyes roam over him, like they very much wanted to. Glancing past his left shoulder, she saw that Neal had caught sight of them and was making his way over.
She looked back in time to see Dom avert his eyes, a slight blush creeping over his cheeks. Kel looked down, not knowing if she should feel embarrassed or pleased that she had caught him looking at her bare shoulders. She decided on the latter, though, and raised her eyes once more, and trying to stand straight with her shoulders back. Dom smiled at her, and was about to say something, when,
“Kel! Dom!” Neal clapped his cousin on the shoulder and looked at the two of them cheerfully. Kel made a mental note to kick him later, if she got the chance.
“Meathead,” Dom said in greeting. His eyes were still on Kel. She smiled nervously and looked away. Dom finally looked away as well, turning to Neal with a grin. “Has the wife dragged you along, then?”
“Yes,” said Neal, rather mournfully. “Yuki delights in torturing me.”
“You love it,” Kel retorted. She knew that Neal loved balls just as much as he loved bad poetry. “It was probably you dragging Yuki along.”
Neal looked down his nose at her, while Dom stifled a laugh beside him. “I take offense to that,” he said, assuming a haughty tone. “And I will deny it until the day I die.”
Kel and Dom shared an amused look over Neal’s flair for dramatics, before Kel noticed the way Dom’s smile softened when he looked at her. She turned back to Neal. “And where is Yuki? I thought I saw her here a moment ago.”
He shrugged. “She could be anywhere. And it could take days to find her, she’s so tiny.”
Dom looked at him skeptically. “Are you supposed to talk about your wife like that?”
“Yes.”
“Really.”
“Really,” said Neal. “If you had a wife, you would know. The rules. Of wifehood,” he added.
Kel shook her head with a smile.
“Well,” said Dom, turning to Kel. “Would you do me the honour of the first dance?”
Neal looked at the two of them in interest, while Kel panicked silently. Why did Dom make her feel this way, scared and excited at the same time?
“Hold on,” Neal interjected suddenly. “What if I want the first dance with Kel?”
Dom gave him a look. “Surely that’s what your wife is for, Neal. Isn’t there a rule about that? In the rules? Of wifehood?”
Kel grinned as Dom took her hand and led her to the dance floor, leaving Neal fighting a smile of his own, before he disappeared to find his wife.
It was oddly comforting, the way Dom’s hand pressed against her back. She tried not to look too deeply into his eyes as he led her around the floor amongst the other dancing couples. Though it was very difficult, with his body so alarmingly close to hers. She also tried not to think about the thin layer of green silk that was almost the only barrier between them.
The two of them chatted about the Own as he spun her around the room. He asked her if she had spoken to Raoul, which she hesitated about before answering. Dom nodded when she finished.
“He said as much to me,” he said. There was a slight pause in their conversation before Kel brought herself to ask what she had been thinking.
“And...do you agree about the reasons he gave?”
“You mean about the Commander being the exception to the rule?” Dom asked. Kel nodded, not quite sure why she was suddenly nervous.
“I suppose I can’t really make an informed opinion,” he said slowly. She felt his hand tense slightly on her back. “Since I’m not the Commander, and I don’t know if...” He trailed off and Kel’s breath caught in her throat. I don’t know if there’s anyone I would need to do that for, was what she was sure he had been about to say. Maybe she was wrong, though. But when she looked up into his handsome face and saw the way he was looking questioningly at her, she was suddenly very sure.
Kel didn’t dance with Dom again that night. She told herself she wasn’t avoiding him – why would she be? – yet even the sight of him from across the crowded room made her heart thump and her stomach tingle uncertainly. She danced with Neal twice, and with Raoul once. She even danced with the Baron of Pirate’s Swoop, which was confusing and exhilarating at the same time.
She left shortly after midnight, sparing one parting glance at the beautifully decorated ballroom and the horde of dancing couples. She didn’t see Dom, which was perhaps for the best. The more she thought about it, the more confused she was. Before she worked out her feelings for Dom, she reasoned, maybe it was best that she stayed away from his disarming smile and searching blue eyes.
Maybe it was for the best.
***
Two weeks passed by. Not that Kel was counting. She got the feeling that Dom had caught on to her reluctance to be in his company, for he didn’t seek her out like he usually did. He didn’t even look at her, unless she was talking to the men, or if he was replying to one of her queries during training. That hurt more than it should.
She was sitting in her office one afternoon - Mithros, she really needed to stop calling it her office - filling out a report, when there was a knock at the door. Looking up, she was caught completely unaware when she saw it was Dom standing in the doorway, hands tucked into the pockets of his breeches.
“Dom,” she said, because she couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Kel,” he said, walking over to stand in front of her desk. It was rather off-putting seeing him up close after so many weeks of trying to avoid such a thing, especially when he looked so good. Kel cleared her throat and looked down at the desk top when she realised she had been staring rather fixedly at the open V of his shirt, and at the tanned plane of his chest beneath it.
“Kel, we need to talk,” he said.
“We do?”
“Yes,” he said, looking her in the eye. And just like that, she was trapped. She couldn’t look away.
“What – what about?” Her voice faltered slightly. Dom seemed to notice her growing uncertainty, for he leaned forward against the desk. Kel noticed that his shirt sleeves were rolled up.
“I think you know what about,” he said softly.
Kel’s mouth felt dry. She knew. She had been trying to figure it out for weeks, long before the Midwinter Ball. Maybe she had even been trying to piece it together from the first day they had met, when she was nothing but a green squire. “Dom,” she began hesitantly. “I – I can’t.”
“Why not?”
When she didn’t reply, he swept around the side of her desk and pulled her out of her chair. He didn’t let go of her arms as he searched her face, and for the first time in her life Kel thought that she might swoon.
“Why not?” he repeated.
Kel licked her dry lips. “I –I’m the Commander...”
“No, Kel, you’re not,” he said fiercely. “Why are you making excuses?”
Kel looked away from the intensity of his gaze, glad that he was holding her up. “I don’t know.”
His eyes softened. “Kel, I think you do know.”
“I’m...afraid.”
She had been worried about his reaction to those words. She had been worried about her own reaction, and why she even felt like that in the first place. What she had not expected was the way he looked at her, and the way that he shifted his hands so that he was almost cradling her in his strong arms.
When he leaned in to kiss her, Kel closed her eyes and just let it all go.
After a moment, he moved to pull back, but Kel put her arms around him and pulled him closer. He deepened the kiss gratefully, until she felt that they were melting into each other.
He moved to pull back once more, and this time Kel let him, though they still didn’t let go of each other. “Everything’s okay,” he said, his voice slightly husky from the passion of their kiss. “And we’re just going to take this one step at a time.”
Kel smiled, pulling herself closer and resting her head in the curve of his neck. “One step at a time.”