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Post by PeroxidePirate on Mar 31, 2010 13:31:15 GMT 10
Title: Trickster's Pawn 11 Rating: PG Length: 210 words Competitor: Owen Round/Fight: 4 (Final!) Summary: PG, 210 words. After Kel and Third Company are called away, Wen makes plans for the summer.
Third Company was called out early, that spring. Kel bid a reluctant goodbye to Wen, hoping against hope that summer would be good to her friend.
A few days later, Wen donned boys' clothes, pulled his hair into a horsetail, and made for the Riders' training yard. A Rider directed him to Commander Buri's office, and he knocked, hesitantly, on the open door.
“Commander?”
“Yes?” Buri looked up from her paperwork. “Come in. What can I do for you?”
“I'd like to join up with the Riders, ma'am. I'm... Wen of Jesslaw.”
“Wen?” Buri scrutinized him for a moment. “Do your people approve of your plans?”
“Yes, ma'am,” Wen lied, with no hesitation. “My marriage is arranged, but it's not for a few years, yet. Until then, I'm free to do as I please. And it would please me to serve the crown.”
“I see.” She was still peering at him. “Don't take this the wrong way,” she said at last, “but are you a boy or a girl?” "but Wen is a very unusual name."
“It's short for Wendy,” he said, cheeks flushing.
The commander grinned, unexpectedly. “All right. Meet me here at sunup tomorrow, ready to work, and we'll see what you can do.”
Edit because version 1.0 made Buri sound like a jerk, which wasn't my intention.
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Post by Lisa on Apr 1, 2010 12:17:18 GMT 10
>.< Ouch, Buri. Ouch.
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Post by Alliecat on Apr 2, 2010 14:25:03 GMT 10
I don't think Owen needs any more reminders...Thanks Buri
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Post by PeroxidePirate on Apr 2, 2010 22:11:27 GMT 10
Oh, dear, this didn't come out the way I meant for it to. Hazard of last minute writing and posting without editing, that. Is it cheating if I fix it? Thank you both for the comments. I'm not sure how much my intent comes through, now, but I think it's an improvement... My intent was actually to show that Buri realizes there is something a little, for lack of a better word, queer about Wen, and she's taking that into consideration. Most of the time she wouldn't accept a noble teenager who's awaiting an arranged marriage into the riders, because of the exact things Wen's relations are worried about. But in this case, she genuinely wants to help.
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