Post by Elvensmith on Dec 13, 2010 7:41:03 GMT 10
To: ev
Message: ev, I'm so happy I got you. I had a lot going on, but I finally got it all typed up and everything, and I hope you like it. I wish I could've done more
From: Elven
Title: Hello
Rating: PG-13
Wishlist Item: #2 Dom/Any Guy
Summary: Dom might not just be a lady's man...
Dom watched them together, almost every single day. He watched them kiss in tight corners and argue over tournaments and try to hide that they were in love, even from each other. When he watched them, he felt strange inside—guilty, excited and angry all at once. It was like jealousy, but it was a muddled kind of jealousy that he had difficulty tracing. He would look at them and have two feelings, but he wouldn't know which one he felt which for. That was probably what frightened him. He was a lady's man, so there was really only one person he could be jealous of, right? But when he thought of it that way, it just didn't seem that simple. It confused him, and he just wasn't used to being confused.
So he just went on like normal. He pretended it was she that he loved, and that was what ultimately decided him. What made him happy was not that he was flirting with Kel, but that Cleon noticed him when he did it. It didn't make a lot of sense, but he knew it was Cleon that he had feelings for.
Dom shook himself out of his reverie and continued grooming his horse. He didn't fancy men, he fancied women. It had always been like that. But something in him kept thinking about Cleon's broad shoulders and the way his gray eyes flashed in the light. And he only felt strange when Kel and Cleon were together but not when Cleon was alone.
"I see you've been standing there a while," Raoul of Goldenlake said from the doorway, leaning against the wooden frame. "Are you stalling or have you got something on your mind?" He walked over and took one of Dom's brushes. He helped groom the horse, his big hands gentle on the large beast.
Dom shrugged. "Little bit of both, sir," he said with a grin. It didn't quite reach his eyes. He sighed, wondering if he should tell Raoul what the problem was. "I barely understand it myself."
Raoul studied Dom's face, though his hands didn't stop brushing the horse. "I don't want a troubled man at the head of one of my squads, but I can't force you to talk. Just so you know, though—I've lived a fair share. I might just be able to help you…"
Dom chuckled and hoisted himself up onto the divider between his stall and the next. He didn't want to talk about this with Raoul, but he did need to talk, and Raoul was there. He couldn't make sense of his situation while it was just in his head, but he didn't think another man—especially Raoul—would understand. "You probably don't want to hear it, sir, but I've got a… complication. Romantically, that is." He glanced at Raoul and saw that he blushed a little, but his expression was still earnest. Dom plowed forward, "You know Kel and Cleon are…?" Raoul nodded. "Well, I've been feeling strange about it. I'm a grown man, sir, and I'd be able to handle it if it were Kel, but…" he hesitated. "It's not her. I think it's Cleon."
Raoul cleared his throat nervously, still focused on grooming Dom's horse. He didn't respond for several minutes, and Dom almost wanted him to utter a cry of disgust and leave. Instead, his voice was gentle and understanding. "I know a little about… such things…" The big man looked up at Dom, cleared his throat again and continued, "Two of my friends… Alex of Tirragen and Gareth the Younger. It was never a public thing, but I knew it all the same. It broke Alex, but Gary… he just brushed it off and got himself a wife. I'll never know how that worked."
Dom raised his eyebrows, turning red himself. "I didn't think it was something that happened…"
"People regard romance as such a serious thing," Raoul chuckled. He gave Dom the brush and heaved himself up onto the divider next to Dom. "Not all relationships involve love, and not all relationships involve people of the opposite sex. Sometimes people of the same sex are together until death, and sometimes people of the opposite sex only have short little flings. Nothing is set in stone. I guess, what I've learned is just to love, you know? I'm getting older, and I'm getting no closer to finding a wife." Raoul chuckled.
Dom sighed and kicked his boots against the stall, still conflicted. "It's not so simple, though," he said. "Cleon is courting Kel."
Raoul nodded. "Maybe you can't be with him, then. I don't know. Life is one long line, and you can't ever see the end of it. Man, you've got your whole life and your whole heart to…" he turned very red…"to love with." The Commander of the King's Own rubbed his neck and hopped down. "Just don't get too down, Dom. You've still got a squad to lead, eh?" He slapped Dom on the back and strolled out of the stables.
Dom sat there for a while thinking his issue over. He liked Cleon, and that was fine. It would pass, or it would stay, and it didn't have to be so different from loving a girl. He walked outside, noting that it was snowing. Cleon loved Kel, though, and he was a girl-loving guy if Dom ever saw one. So what? He could still love the big red-head at a distance, and—as Raoul had said—you never knew how things could change in the future. It was getting close to Midwinter…
Dom pulled the wrapping paper out of his bag and admired the red and gold leaves that had been printed onto the crisp white paper. It was expensive, but it was worth it. He layed out the different gifts he'd purchased for his friends and pulled out tape and scissors. He'd bought a golden dragonfly brooch for Kel, and pair of red winter gloves for Raoul and various other trinkets at the Midwinter Market that morning. But the most important gift he would be giving was a piece of a stone heart that had an H on it. It was his gift to Cleon. He'd thought it was a silly idea and too feminine for his taste, but Raoul had convinced him in the end. If he still liked him, for the next three Midwinters, Dom would give Cleon another piece of the stone heart. It was something he might do for a girl her really liked, and Cleon was not a girl, but he'd never know whom it was from anyway, so he might as well. Dom wrapped up the last gift and brought it to the maid that was bringing gifts around on that floor. He pulled his coat on, then, and left the festive palace for the practice courts. They were quiet and empty, as most of the nobles were at the feast or in their own rooms. This was the year that the Prince and Cleon were taking their Ordeals. It was also the year that Joren died.
He sat on one of the stands in the tilting yard and watched the snow fall and cover the packed dirt. It was lonely and cold, but it also offered something that he craved—silence. Cleon had passed his Ordeal a few days ago, and someone had told him that they'd seen Cleon and Kel kissing in the city the day before. He didn't hold it against Kel—she was probably his best friend—but it hurt him that she could so easily get what he wanted. He drew a smiling face in the snow on the wooden bench and watched powdered sugar cover it up again, like covering syrup on a pancake.
"Have you wrapped your Midwinter gifts?" Dom looked up at Kel. She sat down by him. "I just finished."
Dom leaned back and looked her up and down. She was wearing a nice tunic, fit for a party but not too flashy, and obviously the handiwork of Lalasa. Her eyes were empty like they'd been for the last few days, and her cheeks were bright red from the cold. She looked very pretty to him. "How've you been, Kel?" he asked.
She glanced at him and a corner of her mouth twitched. "I can't really say. Confused, I suppose. Angry. Happy, once."
He nodded. "It's a strange year. I guess people are just trying to be happy for the Prince, even with Joren's death and what happened to Vincent."
She grimaced. "I guess. I'm happy for them—Cleon and Roald. But I just—have trouble accepting all of it. It could be my fault. Maybe less people would hurt." She shook her head and threw some snow at the wall on the other side of the yard.
"Buri talked to you?"
"She did. It helped," Kel shrugged. "She's right, but worrying about this—it's just how I am. Dom, I… I just want to get out of this palace."
"You really are turning into Raoul," Dom chuckled. "But I wouldn't mind it myself. Where's Cleon going now?" His heart pounded as he asked the question, hoping she didn't get suspicious.
She didn't. "I think almost everyone's on Progress now," Kel said. "I'm happy about that."
"That's nice," he murmured, feeling equally happy and depressed about her response. "I need to get a girl while we're still here, huh?"
Kel punched his arm and grinned. He rubbed his shoulder and ruffled her hair. He really did like Kel, and he loved to be with her, but it was obvious now that it was the same love that he would have for a close sister.
"Is something wrong?" she asked when he went stiff at his own thoughts.
He shrugged it off and smiled at her. "Guess I really wish I did have a girl, you know?" It wasn't a lie.
"Love isn't all that matters."
"Says someone who's got it," he grumbled just loud enough for her to hear. She sighed loudly and stood up. Dom rubbed his hands together and blew on them. "Haven't you?"
"I don't use the word love so lightly," she said quietly, with regret in her voice. "I'm not saying that I don't love him… I think I might… but it's so hard to say. I like plenty, and I love a lot, too, but it's hard, that's all. Love has no guards, no defenses. It's all of you, and that's a hard thing to give."
Dom didn't reply, and Kel left, but he still thought about what she'd said. It was true and it made him wonder if he loved Cleon. Eventually he decided that he didn't know. His heart melted at the thought of the gray-eyed ginger, but he didn't know if that was love. If he had the opportunity, would he give Cleon all of him? He would lower all defenses for Kel, but her barely knew Cleon. And those pieces of the heart… the stone heart. They were not his heart. But he wouldn't stop giving them to him. Truth was, he liked to like.
Dom rolled his eyes at himself and stood, finally chilled to the bone. He would have to forget about love for a while, or it might just take him over. At least until next Midwinter.
The last piece, the last letter. It was a good year to give it, too. The war in Scanra was finally turning, and the Own was resting at the palace. He and Kel spoke often, and he'd told her about the stone heart. He thought that his feelings would have gone since he barely saw Cleon, but there was still a beat in his heart that only pounded for Cleon. It might always be there. Dom finished packing the last piece with the letter O on it and sighed heavily. It was pointless.
Someone knocked on the door and came in without waiting. "You're still sending him letters?" asked the young woman lightly. She gave him a swift kiss and sat on his bed. "Will you finally tell me what it spells out?"
He smiled a little. "Hello. That's all," he told her. "This is the last letter."
"Hope you don't take me for granved. How many other girls let their men send lovenotes to other knights?"
He stood up and looked down on the young woman with a grin. "Just you, and I've no idea why. Five years of my life, I've devoted to sending him this heart, and I still don't really understand it. All that I know, though, is that it's you that I love, and that, apparently it's enough for you. Now, I might be overstepping my boundaries, seeing as you're not supposed to do this kind of thing—relationships and all. It gets in the way of work sometimes, as I'm sure you've heard, but…" he hesitated and touched her face… "Do you love me?"
She kissed him sweetly. "Of course I do. If you asked, I would marry you, so much yours is my heart."
Dom closed his eyes for a moment, letting everything go—Cleon, and the hearts and all of those childish desires that he'd once had. This was real. As Raoul had said, life was a line, and he would never be able to see the future, so he had to live for now, and now was this beautiful woman that he loved. This beautiful woman that had given all of herself to him, and had no guards and no shields. The least he could do was let his own guards down.
He pulled out the ring, with a little silver heart on it and presented it to her. "Do you swear it?"
She stared at him, her eyes bright. "I don't often say things I don't mean," she whispered, holding her hand out to him. He slipped it on her finger and Cleon vanished from his mind.
Message: ev, I'm so happy I got you. I had a lot going on, but I finally got it all typed up and everything, and I hope you like it. I wish I could've done more
From: Elven
Title: Hello
Rating: PG-13
Wishlist Item: #2 Dom/Any Guy
Summary: Dom might not just be a lady's man...
Dom watched them together, almost every single day. He watched them kiss in tight corners and argue over tournaments and try to hide that they were in love, even from each other. When he watched them, he felt strange inside—guilty, excited and angry all at once. It was like jealousy, but it was a muddled kind of jealousy that he had difficulty tracing. He would look at them and have two feelings, but he wouldn't know which one he felt which for. That was probably what frightened him. He was a lady's man, so there was really only one person he could be jealous of, right? But when he thought of it that way, it just didn't seem that simple. It confused him, and he just wasn't used to being confused.
So he just went on like normal. He pretended it was she that he loved, and that was what ultimately decided him. What made him happy was not that he was flirting with Kel, but that Cleon noticed him when he did it. It didn't make a lot of sense, but he knew it was Cleon that he had feelings for.
Dom shook himself out of his reverie and continued grooming his horse. He didn't fancy men, he fancied women. It had always been like that. But something in him kept thinking about Cleon's broad shoulders and the way his gray eyes flashed in the light. And he only felt strange when Kel and Cleon were together but not when Cleon was alone.
"I see you've been standing there a while," Raoul of Goldenlake said from the doorway, leaning against the wooden frame. "Are you stalling or have you got something on your mind?" He walked over and took one of Dom's brushes. He helped groom the horse, his big hands gentle on the large beast.
Dom shrugged. "Little bit of both, sir," he said with a grin. It didn't quite reach his eyes. He sighed, wondering if he should tell Raoul what the problem was. "I barely understand it myself."
Raoul studied Dom's face, though his hands didn't stop brushing the horse. "I don't want a troubled man at the head of one of my squads, but I can't force you to talk. Just so you know, though—I've lived a fair share. I might just be able to help you…"
Dom chuckled and hoisted himself up onto the divider between his stall and the next. He didn't want to talk about this with Raoul, but he did need to talk, and Raoul was there. He couldn't make sense of his situation while it was just in his head, but he didn't think another man—especially Raoul—would understand. "You probably don't want to hear it, sir, but I've got a… complication. Romantically, that is." He glanced at Raoul and saw that he blushed a little, but his expression was still earnest. Dom plowed forward, "You know Kel and Cleon are…?" Raoul nodded. "Well, I've been feeling strange about it. I'm a grown man, sir, and I'd be able to handle it if it were Kel, but…" he hesitated. "It's not her. I think it's Cleon."
Raoul cleared his throat nervously, still focused on grooming Dom's horse. He didn't respond for several minutes, and Dom almost wanted him to utter a cry of disgust and leave. Instead, his voice was gentle and understanding. "I know a little about… such things…" The big man looked up at Dom, cleared his throat again and continued, "Two of my friends… Alex of Tirragen and Gareth the Younger. It was never a public thing, but I knew it all the same. It broke Alex, but Gary… he just brushed it off and got himself a wife. I'll never know how that worked."
Dom raised his eyebrows, turning red himself. "I didn't think it was something that happened…"
"People regard romance as such a serious thing," Raoul chuckled. He gave Dom the brush and heaved himself up onto the divider next to Dom. "Not all relationships involve love, and not all relationships involve people of the opposite sex. Sometimes people of the same sex are together until death, and sometimes people of the opposite sex only have short little flings. Nothing is set in stone. I guess, what I've learned is just to love, you know? I'm getting older, and I'm getting no closer to finding a wife." Raoul chuckled.
Dom sighed and kicked his boots against the stall, still conflicted. "It's not so simple, though," he said. "Cleon is courting Kel."
Raoul nodded. "Maybe you can't be with him, then. I don't know. Life is one long line, and you can't ever see the end of it. Man, you've got your whole life and your whole heart to…" he turned very red…"to love with." The Commander of the King's Own rubbed his neck and hopped down. "Just don't get too down, Dom. You've still got a squad to lead, eh?" He slapped Dom on the back and strolled out of the stables.
Dom sat there for a while thinking his issue over. He liked Cleon, and that was fine. It would pass, or it would stay, and it didn't have to be so different from loving a girl. He walked outside, noting that it was snowing. Cleon loved Kel, though, and he was a girl-loving guy if Dom ever saw one. So what? He could still love the big red-head at a distance, and—as Raoul had said—you never knew how things could change in the future. It was getting close to Midwinter…
***
Dom pulled the wrapping paper out of his bag and admired the red and gold leaves that had been printed onto the crisp white paper. It was expensive, but it was worth it. He layed out the different gifts he'd purchased for his friends and pulled out tape and scissors. He'd bought a golden dragonfly brooch for Kel, and pair of red winter gloves for Raoul and various other trinkets at the Midwinter Market that morning. But the most important gift he would be giving was a piece of a stone heart that had an H on it. It was his gift to Cleon. He'd thought it was a silly idea and too feminine for his taste, but Raoul had convinced him in the end. If he still liked him, for the next three Midwinters, Dom would give Cleon another piece of the stone heart. It was something he might do for a girl her really liked, and Cleon was not a girl, but he'd never know whom it was from anyway, so he might as well. Dom wrapped up the last gift and brought it to the maid that was bringing gifts around on that floor. He pulled his coat on, then, and left the festive palace for the practice courts. They were quiet and empty, as most of the nobles were at the feast or in their own rooms. This was the year that the Prince and Cleon were taking their Ordeals. It was also the year that Joren died.
He sat on one of the stands in the tilting yard and watched the snow fall and cover the packed dirt. It was lonely and cold, but it also offered something that he craved—silence. Cleon had passed his Ordeal a few days ago, and someone had told him that they'd seen Cleon and Kel kissing in the city the day before. He didn't hold it against Kel—she was probably his best friend—but it hurt him that she could so easily get what he wanted. He drew a smiling face in the snow on the wooden bench and watched powdered sugar cover it up again, like covering syrup on a pancake.
"Have you wrapped your Midwinter gifts?" Dom looked up at Kel. She sat down by him. "I just finished."
Dom leaned back and looked her up and down. She was wearing a nice tunic, fit for a party but not too flashy, and obviously the handiwork of Lalasa. Her eyes were empty like they'd been for the last few days, and her cheeks were bright red from the cold. She looked very pretty to him. "How've you been, Kel?" he asked.
She glanced at him and a corner of her mouth twitched. "I can't really say. Confused, I suppose. Angry. Happy, once."
He nodded. "It's a strange year. I guess people are just trying to be happy for the Prince, even with Joren's death and what happened to Vincent."
She grimaced. "I guess. I'm happy for them—Cleon and Roald. But I just—have trouble accepting all of it. It could be my fault. Maybe less people would hurt." She shook her head and threw some snow at the wall on the other side of the yard.
"Buri talked to you?"
"She did. It helped," Kel shrugged. "She's right, but worrying about this—it's just how I am. Dom, I… I just want to get out of this palace."
"You really are turning into Raoul," Dom chuckled. "But I wouldn't mind it myself. Where's Cleon going now?" His heart pounded as he asked the question, hoping she didn't get suspicious.
She didn't. "I think almost everyone's on Progress now," Kel said. "I'm happy about that."
"That's nice," he murmured, feeling equally happy and depressed about her response. "I need to get a girl while we're still here, huh?"
Kel punched his arm and grinned. He rubbed his shoulder and ruffled her hair. He really did like Kel, and he loved to be with her, but it was obvious now that it was the same love that he would have for a close sister.
"Is something wrong?" she asked when he went stiff at his own thoughts.
He shrugged it off and smiled at her. "Guess I really wish I did have a girl, you know?" It wasn't a lie.
"Love isn't all that matters."
"Says someone who's got it," he grumbled just loud enough for her to hear. She sighed loudly and stood up. Dom rubbed his hands together and blew on them. "Haven't you?"
"I don't use the word love so lightly," she said quietly, with regret in her voice. "I'm not saying that I don't love him… I think I might… but it's so hard to say. I like plenty, and I love a lot, too, but it's hard, that's all. Love has no guards, no defenses. It's all of you, and that's a hard thing to give."
Dom didn't reply, and Kel left, but he still thought about what she'd said. It was true and it made him wonder if he loved Cleon. Eventually he decided that he didn't know. His heart melted at the thought of the gray-eyed ginger, but he didn't know if that was love. If he had the opportunity, would he give Cleon all of him? He would lower all defenses for Kel, but her barely knew Cleon. And those pieces of the heart… the stone heart. They were not his heart. But he wouldn't stop giving them to him. Truth was, he liked to like.
Dom rolled his eyes at himself and stood, finally chilled to the bone. He would have to forget about love for a while, or it might just take him over. At least until next Midwinter.
***
The last piece, the last letter. It was a good year to give it, too. The war in Scanra was finally turning, and the Own was resting at the palace. He and Kel spoke often, and he'd told her about the stone heart. He thought that his feelings would have gone since he barely saw Cleon, but there was still a beat in his heart that only pounded for Cleon. It might always be there. Dom finished packing the last piece with the letter O on it and sighed heavily. It was pointless.
Someone knocked on the door and came in without waiting. "You're still sending him letters?" asked the young woman lightly. She gave him a swift kiss and sat on his bed. "Will you finally tell me what it spells out?"
He smiled a little. "Hello. That's all," he told her. "This is the last letter."
"Hope you don't take me for granved. How many other girls let their men send lovenotes to other knights?"
He stood up and looked down on the young woman with a grin. "Just you, and I've no idea why. Five years of my life, I've devoted to sending him this heart, and I still don't really understand it. All that I know, though, is that it's you that I love, and that, apparently it's enough for you. Now, I might be overstepping my boundaries, seeing as you're not supposed to do this kind of thing—relationships and all. It gets in the way of work sometimes, as I'm sure you've heard, but…" he hesitated and touched her face… "Do you love me?"
She kissed him sweetly. "Of course I do. If you asked, I would marry you, so much yours is my heart."
Dom closed his eyes for a moment, letting everything go—Cleon, and the hearts and all of those childish desires that he'd once had. This was real. As Raoul had said, life was a line, and he would never be able to see the future, so he had to live for now, and now was this beautiful woman that he loved. This beautiful woman that had given all of herself to him, and had no guards and no shields. The least he could do was let his own guards down.
He pulled out the ring, with a little silver heart on it and presented it to her. "Do you swear it?"
She stared at him, her eyes bright. "I don't often say things I don't mean," she whispered, holding her hand out to him. He slipped it on her finger and Cleon vanished from his mind.