Post by Rowena on Dec 9, 2010 11:49:11 GMT 10
To: Rachy
Message: Merry Ficmas I'm glad I got to write this for you. I hope you like it. In your Dear Author letter you said Beka/Phelan could be angsty or in a relationship, and I did both. It's also AU, which you said was alright. Enjoy!
From: Rowena
Title: Something Sane
Rating: PG-13
Wishlist Item: #3 - Beka/Phelan
Summary: "It could've been me tonight if I hadn't gotten my baton up in time. It could be me any night of the week." Phelan's thoughts on an AU Beltane.
They’d had breakfast just that morning, and parted with smiles and goodbyes and promises to see each other the next day. He had stayed a little while after the others had gone, as he always did, and she had gone about cleaning up, acknowledging his presence with a smile that lit up her eyes and sitting down to work on her map. He had lingered, simply watching her, idly crumbling bread for the pigeons on her windowsill and admiring the way her brow furrowed as she read over the new Shadow Snake cases that had been delivered to her and marked them, ever precise, on her map.
It struck him, quite suddenly, that she was very different than anyone he’d ever known, ever been with: he wasn’t sure what it was, but there was a sense of destiny about her. He’d like to believe it even extended to them, together. Someday, she was going to do great things.
He hoped he would be there with her.
Standing behind her chair, he leaned down, kissing her ear, then her neck, progressing toward her mouth. She indulged him, letting one kiss turn into three before she pulled away and sighed. “I have things to do.”
“I know. So do I.”
“Come back to walk me to the kennel?”
“Of course.” He grinned.
She kissed him once more, quickly. “I’ll be waiting, Phelan.”
“Don’t worry, Beka – I’ll be here.”
They’d walked together to the kennel for the mandatory training before their rounds, and being with her made the Lower City seem less awful. She’d noticed all the good – the small kindnesses that were portrayed on the streets, the comradeship of all the people who lived there. It wasn’t that she was being unrealistic, because he knew in an hour she would be on the streets with her Dogs and alert to any and all trouble that might come her way, but the fact that she could step away from the statistics and crime records of the Lower City, even the Shadow Snake case she was working on, and see that the people were basically good was something most Dogs could never do.
Right before she’d left the kennel with her Dogs, he’d given her a quick hug, ignoring Goodwin’s glare and Tunstall’s smirk and taking the opportunity to whisper in her ear.
“After watch, we’ll have our own Beltane.”
He was rewarded with a brilliant smile.
When Phelan returned after watch the kennel was far too quiet. The first thing he saw was Beka’s friends Ersken and Verene, sitting on a bench with the other Evening Watch Puppies, holding each other up. The white trim on their uniforms was muddied and stained. Beka wasn’t with them.
Just outside the healer’s door, Tunstall stood with Goodwin, his long arm tucking his partner into his body. The taller Dog’s eyes met Phelan’s fleetingly and then shot down to the floor.
Phelan wanted to ask what was happening, but he felt he already knew.
Inside the healer’s room only one bed was occupied, a white sheet covering the person lying there. Phelan thought he knew who it was. No healers were present, but he didn’t want to believe it could be true.
He swirled around. Everywhere Dogs sat, stood, leaned on each other. More than half the Puppies were in tears.
“We came across some rushers hassling a lordling and his lady. We weren’t…we weren’t paying enough attention. You know how things can happen…” Phelan didn’t think he’d ever heard Clary Goodwin hoarse before. Mayhap it was because she was trying not to cry.
Whatever the reason, Phelan said nothing in response. He turned and went into the chapel, focusing on the simple act of walking, one foot and then the other. Inside he knelt on aching legs.
For a long while he couldn’t think of anything to say, so when he finally spoke, it came out as barely a whisper. “We would have had such a wonderful Beltane, Beka.”
He didn’t really want to eat, but Aniki insisted he needed to and fed him two turnovers that seemed tasteless but probably weren’t, and one of the scummbernob Puppies ruined Beka’s funeral with thoughtless words that cut deep, and all of Beka’s siblings looked like they were about to collapse and all Phelan could think about was how their mother had died and Beka had been the eldest, had taken care of them, and now she was gone too. And how Mattes Tunstall and Clary Goodwin were supposed to be the best pair of Dogs in the Lower City but they obviously didn’t know how to watch a Puppy. They’d let one die on their watch.
Afternoon Watch was out when he entered the kennel. Beka would’ve been shamed to enter it in city clothes, to see him do so, but Phelan supposed he was beyond caring. Ahuda looked up and saw him, closing the ledger she’d been writing in.
“What?” she asked. It sounds resigned.
“I’m leaving, Ahuda.” Phelan was sure he sounded awful. He felt like it.
“Rapp, I’ve already lost four Puppies over this, not counting Beka. I can’t afford to lose any Dogs.”
“I can’t do it anymore, Ahuda.”
“You’ve seen Dogs die before, Phelan. Everyone has. It’s part of the job. You’ve seen Puppies die too.”
“Not Puppies like Beka!”
He hadn’t meant to shout it, and Ahuda sighed, closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead. “That’s true. Not Puppies like Beka.” She opened her eyes, giving him a level stare. “Please don’t do this.”
“Listen to me, Ahuda. Dying I can deal with. Death is part of the job. But this…if the best Dogs in the Lower City can’t keep the most promising Puppy that’s come through here in years alive, than what’s the use? Maybe there’s a reason Goodwin and Tunstall’ve never had a Puppy before – they’re bad at it! How does anyone else have a chance if even they can’t keep a Puppy safe?”
His accusations hung in the air above them, quavering, waiting for her response.
“If that’s the way you feel, than I can’t change it. Drop off your baton and your uniform tomorrow.”
She opened her ledger and continued writing. Phelan didn’t have any parting words anyway.
Telling Ersken and Verene, who’d been Beka’s friends, was worse – they were Puppies and no one would’ve judged them too harshly if they’d bailed, but they’d stayed.
He couldn’t, though. What he’d told Ahuda was true: he’d accepted that death was an unavoidable part of being a Dog. But he’d also admired Goodwin and Tunstall, been just a little jealous of Beka for getting the chance to learn from the best, but also knowing that she would be a better Dog than him by far.
He’d never imagined she wouldn’t make it that far.
He hoped the other Dogs would be able to forgive him, but he was already anticipating his new job.
This time, he was going to do something sane with his life. He was sure of it.
Message: Merry Ficmas I'm glad I got to write this for you. I hope you like it. In your Dear Author letter you said Beka/Phelan could be angsty or in a relationship, and I did both. It's also AU, which you said was alright. Enjoy!
From: Rowena
Title: Something Sane
Rating: PG-13
Wishlist Item: #3 - Beka/Phelan
Summary: "It could've been me tonight if I hadn't gotten my baton up in time. It could be me any night of the week." Phelan's thoughts on an AU Beltane.
They’d had breakfast just that morning, and parted with smiles and goodbyes and promises to see each other the next day. He had stayed a little while after the others had gone, as he always did, and she had gone about cleaning up, acknowledging his presence with a smile that lit up her eyes and sitting down to work on her map. He had lingered, simply watching her, idly crumbling bread for the pigeons on her windowsill and admiring the way her brow furrowed as she read over the new Shadow Snake cases that had been delivered to her and marked them, ever precise, on her map.
It struck him, quite suddenly, that she was very different than anyone he’d ever known, ever been with: he wasn’t sure what it was, but there was a sense of destiny about her. He’d like to believe it even extended to them, together. Someday, she was going to do great things.
He hoped he would be there with her.
Standing behind her chair, he leaned down, kissing her ear, then her neck, progressing toward her mouth. She indulged him, letting one kiss turn into three before she pulled away and sighed. “I have things to do.”
“I know. So do I.”
“Come back to walk me to the kennel?”
“Of course.” He grinned.
She kissed him once more, quickly. “I’ll be waiting, Phelan.”
“Don’t worry, Beka – I’ll be here.”
~~~
They’d walked together to the kennel for the mandatory training before their rounds, and being with her made the Lower City seem less awful. She’d noticed all the good – the small kindnesses that were portrayed on the streets, the comradeship of all the people who lived there. It wasn’t that she was being unrealistic, because he knew in an hour she would be on the streets with her Dogs and alert to any and all trouble that might come her way, but the fact that she could step away from the statistics and crime records of the Lower City, even the Shadow Snake case she was working on, and see that the people were basically good was something most Dogs could never do.
Right before she’d left the kennel with her Dogs, he’d given her a quick hug, ignoring Goodwin’s glare and Tunstall’s smirk and taking the opportunity to whisper in her ear.
“After watch, we’ll have our own Beltane.”
He was rewarded with a brilliant smile.
~~~
When Phelan returned after watch the kennel was far too quiet. The first thing he saw was Beka’s friends Ersken and Verene, sitting on a bench with the other Evening Watch Puppies, holding each other up. The white trim on their uniforms was muddied and stained. Beka wasn’t with them.
Just outside the healer’s door, Tunstall stood with Goodwin, his long arm tucking his partner into his body. The taller Dog’s eyes met Phelan’s fleetingly and then shot down to the floor.
Phelan wanted to ask what was happening, but he felt he already knew.
Inside the healer’s room only one bed was occupied, a white sheet covering the person lying there. Phelan thought he knew who it was. No healers were present, but he didn’t want to believe it could be true.
He swirled around. Everywhere Dogs sat, stood, leaned on each other. More than half the Puppies were in tears.
“We came across some rushers hassling a lordling and his lady. We weren’t…we weren’t paying enough attention. You know how things can happen…” Phelan didn’t think he’d ever heard Clary Goodwin hoarse before. Mayhap it was because she was trying not to cry.
Whatever the reason, Phelan said nothing in response. He turned and went into the chapel, focusing on the simple act of walking, one foot and then the other. Inside he knelt on aching legs.
For a long while he couldn’t think of anything to say, so when he finally spoke, it came out as barely a whisper. “We would have had such a wonderful Beltane, Beka.”
~~~
He didn’t really want to eat, but Aniki insisted he needed to and fed him two turnovers that seemed tasteless but probably weren’t, and one of the scummbernob Puppies ruined Beka’s funeral with thoughtless words that cut deep, and all of Beka’s siblings looked like they were about to collapse and all Phelan could think about was how their mother had died and Beka had been the eldest, had taken care of them, and now she was gone too. And how Mattes Tunstall and Clary Goodwin were supposed to be the best pair of Dogs in the Lower City but they obviously didn’t know how to watch a Puppy. They’d let one die on their watch.
~~~
Afternoon Watch was out when he entered the kennel. Beka would’ve been shamed to enter it in city clothes, to see him do so, but Phelan supposed he was beyond caring. Ahuda looked up and saw him, closing the ledger she’d been writing in.
“What?” she asked. It sounds resigned.
“I’m leaving, Ahuda.” Phelan was sure he sounded awful. He felt like it.
“Rapp, I’ve already lost four Puppies over this, not counting Beka. I can’t afford to lose any Dogs.”
“I can’t do it anymore, Ahuda.”
“You’ve seen Dogs die before, Phelan. Everyone has. It’s part of the job. You’ve seen Puppies die too.”
“Not Puppies like Beka!”
He hadn’t meant to shout it, and Ahuda sighed, closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead. “That’s true. Not Puppies like Beka.” She opened her eyes, giving him a level stare. “Please don’t do this.”
“Listen to me, Ahuda. Dying I can deal with. Death is part of the job. But this…if the best Dogs in the Lower City can’t keep the most promising Puppy that’s come through here in years alive, than what’s the use? Maybe there’s a reason Goodwin and Tunstall’ve never had a Puppy before – they’re bad at it! How does anyone else have a chance if even they can’t keep a Puppy safe?”
His accusations hung in the air above them, quavering, waiting for her response.
“If that’s the way you feel, than I can’t change it. Drop off your baton and your uniform tomorrow.”
She opened her ledger and continued writing. Phelan didn’t have any parting words anyway.
~~~
Telling Ersken and Verene, who’d been Beka’s friends, was worse – they were Puppies and no one would’ve judged them too harshly if they’d bailed, but they’d stayed.
He couldn’t, though. What he’d told Ahuda was true: he’d accepted that death was an unavoidable part of being a Dog. But he’d also admired Goodwin and Tunstall, been just a little jealous of Beka for getting the chance to learn from the best, but also knowing that she would be a better Dog than him by far.
He’d never imagined she wouldn’t make it that far.
He hoped the other Dogs would be able to forgive him, but he was already anticipating his new job.
This time, he was going to do something sane with his life. He was sure of it.