Post by Verasque on Apr 24, 2010 10:29:33 GMT 10
Title: Dogs On Ice
Rating: PG-13 (for language and innuendo)
Length: 493
Summary: Just another conversation between the best junior partners in the state. Modern AU.
Notes: Birthday fic for Ren
“What—what is that?”
“Why, hello to you, too. Isn’t this just a fine spring day?”
“What is that?”
“Oh, isn’t it just divine, Mattes? The sun is shining, the birds singing, and the Red Bull twenty cents more expensive. Aw, ****. Since when? It was only three-eighty last w—”
“I said, what the—”
“Geez, it’s my costume. Stop harping already. I heard you the first time.”
“I am going to kindly refrain from saying something I’ll regret.”
“You shouldn’t bother. And you—kind? Hah. Also, you shouldn’t ever try to repress things you’ll regret saying. Goat doesn’t do anything for your looks, Goodwin.”
“If I didn’t want to win the regionals, I’d shove my umbrella right up your fat ass.”
“But then you wouldn’t have anything to keep your hair dry when you leave. Won’t that wreck your hair or something? I seem to recall you calling me a thick bonehead the other day for not knowing anything about hair straighteners.”
“Whatever.”
“You always say that.”
“Glad to know you noticed.”
“You are such an overwhelming person.”
“And you’re just a weirdo who—why is there glitter on your costume? And where the hell’s the top part?”
“Jealous?”
“As if! You’re not seriously going to wear that to regional’s, are you? I’ve had enough of your pranks. I don’t need another one right now, Tunstall. I’m warning you. If you so much as wear that hideous blue thh-creation I swear I’m going to tell everyone about your little sec—”
“Whoa, slow down. Who said anything about this being for the regionals? Here.”
“What’s this? A—oh. Um, how did you know it was my birthday?”
“You’re really asking me that?”
“It’s er, a nice card. And Hallmark, too. Your poor wallet.”
“Har har, Miss Goodwin. Anyway, no need to put on a fake smile. I have a present to go with it. See?”
“That thing is for me?”
“Not quite. I’ll be the one wearing it. Didn’t you always say that you wanted your own personal genie? No? Well, let me jog your memory. It went something like, Oh Tunstall, stop teasing me! Please make my wish come t—ow! Dammit, that hurt, woman.”
“I hate you! I never said that! You have no sense or shame, do you?”
“No, afraid not. I just have you comin’ round my place tonight to—”
“Finish that and die. I know how use a spork.”
“Ooh, that makes me quiver in my loins.”
“Ugh! I give up, I give up, I give up! Save your perverted words for someone else.”
“Aw, but you’re the only one whose world I care to make go round. Don’t deny it. There’s no other partner in the state who can lift your soft tushie better than I. And I don’t think you’d find them as attractive as me enough to allow them to master such a—oh no, have mercy! Not the ketchup!”
Rating: PG-13 (for language and innuendo)
Length: 493
Summary: Just another conversation between the best junior partners in the state. Modern AU.
Notes: Birthday fic for Ren
“What—what is that?”
“Why, hello to you, too. Isn’t this just a fine spring day?”
“What is that?”
“Oh, isn’t it just divine, Mattes? The sun is shining, the birds singing, and the Red Bull twenty cents more expensive. Aw, ****. Since when? It was only three-eighty last w—”
“I said, what the—”
“Geez, it’s my costume. Stop harping already. I heard you the first time.”
“I am going to kindly refrain from saying something I’ll regret.”
“You shouldn’t bother. And you—kind? Hah. Also, you shouldn’t ever try to repress things you’ll regret saying. Goat doesn’t do anything for your looks, Goodwin.”
“If I didn’t want to win the regionals, I’d shove my umbrella right up your fat ass.”
“But then you wouldn’t have anything to keep your hair dry when you leave. Won’t that wreck your hair or something? I seem to recall you calling me a thick bonehead the other day for not knowing anything about hair straighteners.”
“Whatever.”
“You always say that.”
“Glad to know you noticed.”
“You are such an overwhelming person.”
“And you’re just a weirdo who—why is there glitter on your costume? And where the hell’s the top part?”
“Jealous?”
“As if! You’re not seriously going to wear that to regional’s, are you? I’ve had enough of your pranks. I don’t need another one right now, Tunstall. I’m warning you. If you so much as wear that hideous blue thh-creation I swear I’m going to tell everyone about your little sec—”
“Whoa, slow down. Who said anything about this being for the regionals? Here.”
“What’s this? A—oh. Um, how did you know it was my birthday?”
“You’re really asking me that?”
“It’s er, a nice card. And Hallmark, too. Your poor wallet.”
“Har har, Miss Goodwin. Anyway, no need to put on a fake smile. I have a present to go with it. See?”
“That thing is for me?”
“Not quite. I’ll be the one wearing it. Didn’t you always say that you wanted your own personal genie? No? Well, let me jog your memory. It went something like, Oh Tunstall, stop teasing me! Please make my wish come t—ow! Dammit, that hurt, woman.”
“I hate you! I never said that! You have no sense or shame, do you?”
“No, afraid not. I just have you comin’ round my place tonight to—”
“Finish that and die. I know how use a spork.”
“Ooh, that makes me quiver in my loins.”
“Ugh! I give up, I give up, I give up! Save your perverted words for someone else.”
“Aw, but you’re the only one whose world I care to make go round. Don’t deny it. There’s no other partner in the state who can lift your soft tushie better than I. And I don’t think you’d find them as attractive as me enough to allow them to master such a—oh no, have mercy! Not the ketchup!”