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Post by Rosie on Oct 3, 2010 11:04:00 GMT 10
It's so incredibly touching that Myles brought Wyldon's mother to him, and I love that she got to see him on his special day. The conversation with Vivenne is all kinds of wonderful, too ;D
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Post by max on Oct 3, 2010 11:08:12 GMT 10
Omg I have no idea how at all you're planning to end this.
Which makes me ridiculously excited.
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Post by Lisa on Oct 3, 2010 11:17:04 GMT 10
@ Rosie - I was so worried that it would come off being cheesy, but since I've made family the root of Wyldon's "problems", I had to resolve it somehow, on some level.
@ Elena - er... canonically? ^_^;; I hope you enjoy it - it's coming soon!
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Post by Lisa on Oct 3, 2010 11:31:39 GMT 10
Title: Paragons of Knightly Virtue (7/7 and epilogue) Rating: R Word Count: 1,914 Category: Tortall Summary: and all good things must come to an end… Peculiar Pairing: Myles/Wyldon
Chapter Seven: Dissolution
After Midwinter, most of the court believed that Wyldon was courting Lady Vivenne of Genlith. They rarely danced together, and never did anything that would automatically incite gossip, but it was there just the same. There was something in the way they spoke to one another – an ease that had not been present before their intimate discussion
And Myles was torn between understanding, on good days, and agonizing, on the bad ones.
He found himself in a new and interesting position, with Wyldon. Their days were far removed from one another, now that knightly obligations pulled them in different directions. There were no more essays to discuss, no differences of opinion on pedagogy. When they were together, they focused more on the physical relationship between them and the depth of feeling for one another.
Wyldon took his conversations elsewhere, it seemed. He and Lady Vivenne, now fast friends, spent their time at dinners discussing horse breeding and training. From where he sat, Myles could only watch them and hear snippets of their conversation; they were too far apart for him to join in. He instead focused on the curve of Wyldon’s smile and his inviting body language, wondering if there was more to it than one shared kiss months before.
So he waited and watched, looking for differences. Changes. Revelations.
In March, the Sweating Sickness reached the palace. It seemed that no one was safe – not even the healthiest people in the palace. Pages took sick; knights fell ill. Wyldon was delirious within the first two days of his fever.
And Vivenne of Genlith rarely left his side.
The one time he visited the knight’s quarters – plain, simple rooms with little personality – she was wiping his brow with a damp cloth. “He’s been asking for you,” she said, the corners of her mouth tilting downward. “But he’s just fallen asleep, so I don’t want to wake him.”
“Aren’t you worried about falling ill yourself?” Myles asked.
“I rarely get sick; I’m accustomed to playing nursemaid with my family.” She raised one eyebrow. “And you?”
“My body is too full of wine to leave room for any illness.”
She laughed – a soft, pretty laugh – and dipped the cloth in Wyldon’s washbasin.
“You seem… very much in place here,” Myles said haltingly. He didn’t want to accuse, but he still wanted to know.
She blushed. “Sir Myles, you know Wyldon well enough to know he’s far too proper for anything like that.”
He knew quite the opposite, but Vivenne continued. “But I’ve been here since he fainted yesterday.”
“Wyldon fainted?” It seemed impossible.
“Nearly fell off his horse – but I suppose it wouldn’t be right to torment him later when he’s better.”
“You’re sure he’ll get better?” This sickness was known for taking people swiftly – the harder they fell, the sooner they perished.
“I’m sure,” Vivenne whispered, her eyes fixed on Wyldon’s sleeping form. “As sure as he loves you, I guarantee that he will live.”
Myles blinked, but kept his voice level. “He’s told you this?”
“Not intentionally.” She shook her head emphatically, her face reddening. “His sleep has been fitful, and he’s said quite a lot I’m sure he never intended me to know.”
There was something in her body language that made Myles feel guilty. “Do you love him?” he asked, his voice soft.
Squaring her shoulders, she looked up at him, her eyes fierce. “Do you?”
***
“Vivenne tells me you came to visit while I was ill,” Wyldon said. He put his condition in the past tense, even though he was still too weak to resume his duties. They were in his room, and he realized that Myles had rarely been here; they spent most of their time in the older knight’s quarters.
“I did. You were asleep.”
“And you didn’t think to come back later?”
Myles sighed. “You were delirious, Wyldon. Would it have done any good? Besides, I was needed elsewhere.”
Wyldon took a drink from his mug of steaming hot tea. “I’m told you helped save the prince,” he said, after swallowing. “Along with Alan of Trebond. You’re a hero.” He didn’t like the wistfulness in his voice.
“You’ll save a prince someday.” Myles’s troubled eyes crinkled with his smile. “I don’t think anyone can hold you back.”
He felt like there was nothing to propel him forward. His fever was over, but it had taken an incomparable toll on him. “Something is bothering you,” he said, changing the subject.
Myles shifted from foot to foot, staring out the window even as he answered. “I have a lot on my mind.”
“Such as…?”
Myles shook his head. “I was given plenty to think about while half the palace was sick.”
“If you’re upset about Vivenne taking care of me—”
“I’m glad there was someone to look out for you,” he cut him off, turning back to face Wyldon. “Especially someone who cares as much as she does.”
Wyldon felt uncomfortable under his level gaze. “You know I have to marry eventually.”
“Do you? I was under the impression that you have siblings who can produce heirs to your fief.”
“It’s not that simple,” Wyldon insisted. “There are trade arrangements with Genlith to consider. Family expectations and obligations. My father’s dying wish!”
“And your siblings can’t marry someone from Genlith?”
“I can’t be certain that the relationship between families is effectively maintained unless I manage it myself.”
Myles frowned deeply and tugged at his shaggy beard. “You’re willing to forego your own happiness in order to keep everything in your own control?”
“It’s something I can endure,” Wyldon said, twisting the mug in his hands and staring into the swirling dark liquid. “And something I couldn’t ask of my siblings.”
“You’re so gods-cursed stoic! You think it’s heroic to manfully put your own desires aside, to accept a burden without flinching so you can be some kind of paragon of knightly virtue!”
“It’s not a burden,” Wyldon insisted. “I like her – I could like being married to her! What would you have me do?”
Myles shook his head angrily and headed for the door. “When I’m unhappy with a situation, I do my damnedest to change it.”
“You haven’t changed anything, Myles,” the younger man said, standing shakily. “You talk about how unforgiving the Code is, but you don’t try to change it – yet at the same time it’s too much for you to live by.”
“I live within the dictates of the Code even if I don’t embrace every aspect of it,” Myles replied, his voice low with fury. “But I won’t revel in the misery of duty and make my own life more pained in order to fulfill some fantasy of what a knight really is.” With that, he left the room. ***
“I’m told that they’ll be married this Midwinter,” Alan said, moving his – her? – chess piece across the board. “Jonathan says that they’re both from old families – Book of Gold, like Trebond or Olau. But since he’s already a member of the peerage, the wedding will be more elaborate than most. That’s why they’re marrying in Corus instead of Cavall.”
“I didn’t realize you cared so much for gossip.” He took a swig of wine, hoping that the drunker he got, the less the conversation would pain him. Three months had passed since the affair ended – without so much as a plea from Wyldon to save it – but it didn’t make it sting any less.
Alan flushed. “I’m not – I’ve just… I’ve never seen a wedding before.”
“It will be a private affair,” Myles assured her. She was obviously worried about someone suspecting that she wasn’t boyish enough, with her interest in such things. “Even if it will take place here in the palace.”
“Jon says that it’s a marriage of love and duty – and that nobles don’t often get those. He seems to think a lot about marriage – but I suppose that’s normal if you’re the heir to the throne, yes?”
“Yes, I suppose it is.” He moved his bishop, taking a vulnerable knight.
“Sir Myles, you seem… upset.”
“I’m just tired, lad,” he replied with a sigh. “I’m tired of what the Code asks of us – that we must bear our pains miserably and without complaint, without support from each other.”
“You’ve been drinking too much.”
“I haven’t drunk enough,” he replied bitterly. “Do me a favor, Alan.”
“Yes, sir?”
“Don’t be afraid to rely on someone other than yourself. Don’t get so caught up in duty that you forget that you have a duty to yourself, to those you love. Don’t forget to be who you are, rather than who people expect you to be.”
Alan shrugged. “No one expects me to be anything, sir. But if that ever changes, I’ll remember your words.”
Epilogue
“Sir Myles was a nice enough sort, but I didn’t really care for learning codes or taking dictation, or hearing him go on about the Code of Chivalry.”
Wyldon winced at his new squire’s rambling. “He taught you dictation?” Could the boy not take notes?
“Yes – he played lots of memory games in order to make sure I could remember giant chunks of speeches he made, and then I had to copy everything out word for word.” Owen’s grey eyes rolled. “It was grueling, sir.”
“You don’t even know the beginning of grueling, Squire Owen. I’m going to work you like a dog.” Wyldon tapped on his desk lightly, thinking. “You haven’t much martial training with Sir Myles, have you?”
“Well, he had me work with other knights and squires around the palace. Mainly sword and archery. But he’s not exactly known for being a fighter, is he?”
Wyldon coughed. “No, certainly not.”
“Mainly we talked – philosophy, and duty, and knightly virtues.”
“What did he say about knightly virtues?” he asked sharply; it reminded him of something said long ago.
Owen furrowed his eyebrows in concentration. “He said t hat there are four virtues of knighthood – justice, temperance, fortitude and prudence – and how they’re less important than other virtues, such as mercy, liberality, resolve, integrity or hope. But I don’t agree with him.”
“You don’t?” Wyldon’s eyebrows shot upward.
“No, sir. I think that the knightly virtues are the shell in which all other virtues are housed – you can’t have liberality without temperance to balance it, or mercy without justice. We should look at the world through the knightly virtues and use these ideas to manage our way on our own. Use these to hold us upright when we might otherwise fail.”
Wyldon studied the boy’s earnest face for a long moment. “I agree with you – but I also know that Sir Myles is right on some accounts. We throw young men out into the word by themselves; he is correct in his belief that men are made to bond, to trust in and rely on one another. So do not rely solely on these knightly virtues to hold you upright. There are friends, family, other knights who can help you when it becomes too much. And you have me to rely upon, like I should have more with my own knight-master.”
Owen blinked up at him, his countenance thoughtful. “When you say it, it makes sense.”
“Sir Myles offered quite a lot to me when I was your age,” Wyldon said, his face impassive. “Perhaps my greatest mistake in life was to realize it long after I was set in my ways as a knight.”
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Ankhiale
Training Master
The Village Fool
Posts: 2,619
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Post by Ankhiale on Oct 3, 2010 11:39:59 GMT 10
This whole fic is just lovely.
I cannot tell you how much I love that line. ;D
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Post by Rosie on Oct 3, 2010 11:41:11 GMT 10
This fic is so beautiful, and I sincerely love the end chapter, where Myles is offering a way for them to be together, but Wyldon can't see past his duty. The epilogue is a lovely cherry-on-the-top, and I adore that Wyldon really learned from Myles.
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Post by max on Oct 3, 2010 11:41:47 GMT 10
Oh. That was so sad and beautiful and perfect.
I'm going to fangirl you until the day I die.
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Post by Lisa on Oct 3, 2010 11:45:08 GMT 10
Thank you guys. I'm really touched - especially since this is a pairing that took me a long time to warm up to.
Thanks so much!
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Post by ubiquitous on Oct 3, 2010 14:55:57 GMT 10
I love this fic, it's just lovely. It has just the right amounts of sweetness and sadness
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Post by Alliecat on Oct 3, 2010 15:46:10 GMT 10
I adore the scene with Myles and Vivenne here- it contains so much unsaid. Not that I don't adore it all; Myles's interactions with everyone are phenomenal. Like everyone before me has said, the balance between sad and sweet is excellent, and attributes to an overall lovely fic.
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Post by PeroxidePirate on Oct 3, 2010 21:33:58 GMT 10
Oh, the second half of this is just as great! I love the way you've woven something so major that could slide into the canon without changing anything we already know.
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Post by Lisa on Oct 4, 2010 0:32:08 GMT 10
Thank you!! *hugs you* That's usually one of my goals when I write strange pairings based on canonical moments/words, so hearing it in a review means *so much* to me. Nicki, thanks for being an early sounding board on this one, before I'd written a word!
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Post by journeycat on Oct 9, 2010 2:50:31 GMT 10
This was awesome, and epic, and oddly beautiful, although you wouldn't expect a fic about Myles or even Wyldon/Myles to be so beautiful. I love how you've portrayed both the rise and fall of Myles and Wyldon's relationship, as well as the evolution of Wyldon and Vivenne's. Seeing Alan from Wyldon's point of view, in their younger days, is lovely and bizarre, and seeing Alan/Alanna from Myles' point of view is sweet. And then the ending with Wyldon and Owen ties it all up wonderfully. Your ability to fit such things into canon still amazes me! I loved this. ♥ I love the foreshadowing here - it makes me think of Wyldon saving the royal children!
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Post by Lisa on Oct 11, 2010 13:03:09 GMT 10
Thank you so much, Mandi! I was hoping that the parts you haven't read would make a more complete and interesting story. Thank you!! I was very much intrigued by what Wyldon would think of Alan (and laying groundwork for SO much more Wyldon-Alanna tension). And I'm glad you like the foreshadowing. That and twisting canon are my favoritist things, you know. Thanks for reading! *smishes*
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Post by nealnotdom on Oct 13, 2010 19:48:25 GMT 10
So this. I have such a soft spot for mentor/student fics and then you turned it to love, like actually love and I especially like the way Myles and Wyldon started out, you know all awkward and Wyldon doesn't really want to talk that much and then you watch it develop and *love again* I can't finish my sentences. This fic was just too good. I blame you for this! See?
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Post by Lisa on Oct 13, 2010 22:27:06 GMT 10
*blushes* Thank you so much. It was walking a fine line with the teacher/student aspect, but I'm glad I didn't fall too much to either side.
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Post by Katty on Nov 24, 2010 14:54:20 GMT 10
*flails* I love you. and this. Just brilliant! Will write a thorough reply when I have time to come back and pick our all the lines and things I loved, because you deserve it!
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Post by Lisa on Nov 28, 2010 15:59:49 GMT 10
Aw, thanks so much, Kat! I'm glad you enjoyed this one - I enjoyed writing it far more than I ever expected to.
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housewife
Soldier
Wavelet transform from Aguasonic Acoustics
Posts: 804
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Post by housewife on Dec 17, 2012 21:07:01 GMT 10
Words cannot capture how much I love your writing style and the stories that you craft. This is beautiful.
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Post by Lisa on Dec 20, 2014 0:56:22 GMT 10
OMG, I'm so unbelievably flattered - thank you. <3
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