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Post by Seek on May 25, 2009 19:05:35 GMT 10
Title: Champion Rating: PG-13 for safety Prompt: #1, Switch Category: Up to 250 words Word count: 213 words Summary: He wonders if it’s possible that in another life, the one on the floor whispering his dying breath could be him. (also posted on FFN: www.fanfiction.net/s/5089314/1/)He watches the form on the floor, dying, gurgling, bubbles of froth appearing through blood-shiny links of slick mail. He feels weary as he kneels carefully beside the fallen form, Loyalty still sticking out of the curved chest. He is disgusted with himself because he knows he has just killed a woman and though he thought she was a man, that is unchivalrous. He meets violet eyes that glaze, unfocused. He knows the eyes speak of death to come. Her final breath passes in an unspoken whisper. Alex of Tirragen pulls Loyalty from his friend’s chest. He feels tired, so tired. He wonders if it’s possible that in another life, the one on the floor whispering his (her) dying breath could be him. And then he hefts the sword, covered in Alan's (Alanna’s) drying blood and walks on. He promises himself quietly that Roger will pay. But he knows he is the traitor-friend who killed his friend, nevermind that they haven’t been friends since Alan became Roger’s squire and Jon took him. He is a traitor and in that betrayal, he keeps his loyalty to Jon. He is Jon’s champion, and Jon’s sword, and he must go on, leaving a (his?) body behind, now silent, in the sleep death brings but no peace.
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Post by ubiquitous on May 25, 2009 20:41:28 GMT 10
Ooh, a very nice use of the prompt. And I love how you've written Alex!
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Post by Seek on May 25, 2009 22:09:26 GMT 10
Thankee I've always been slightly interested in Alex- especially what he might have been without Roger.
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Post by ubiquitous on May 25, 2009 22:13:00 GMT 10
Alex is one of those interesting ones, especially in fic.
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Post by girlcalledsun on Jun 3, 2009 7:33:43 GMT 10
This is slightly unsettling, slightly uncomfortable, as Alex faces his actions. Very well done.
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Post by Verasque on Jun 8, 2009 19:41:15 GMT 10
Quite morbid, but hauntingly evocative. It was fantastic.
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Post by wordy on Jun 8, 2009 19:50:35 GMT 10
Ohwow, this is so amazing! Really great use of the prompt! *basks in the awesomeness of it*
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rubberduck
Queen's Rider
Likes Uline... nom nom nom nom
Posts: 546
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Post by rubberduck on Jun 8, 2009 20:04:42 GMT 10
Definitely one of my favourite "switch" drabbles! I adore Alex! It said so much in so little space..
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Post by PeroxidePirate on Jun 9, 2009 6:49:39 GMT 10
I love the way you made the first switch obvious in the beginning, and the second switch a surprise at the end! Alex beat Alanna... and Alanna was on Roger's side. Brilliant.
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Post by Seek on Jun 9, 2009 19:13:11 GMT 10
Thankee xD I tried for a bit of irony too, actually. That while everything else switches, the question of treachery Alex faces doesn't.
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Post by Lisa on Jun 10, 2009 13:21:44 GMT 10
This one was fun. ^__^ I'm afraid I'm so delighted I can't leave feedback worth reading. ^_^;;
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Post by Katty on Jul 19, 2009 13:15:14 GMT 10
Oh wow, great switch!!
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Post by Seek on Jul 19, 2009 18:51:24 GMT 10
Thanks! XD
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Post by zbilja on Jul 19, 2009 21:37:03 GMT 10
I love the way you take the prompt, and put your own, unique spin on it, with a flying result! Especially the whole change-of-roles idea, your drabbles are always very thought-provoking.
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