balanced, G (#77)

[wordy]

Title: balanced
Rating: G
Prompt: #77 there and back again
Summary: Daja rewrote her history once.

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The staff feels heavy under her hand, the story of her life told between grain and whorl. She runs her thumb across the engraved lines.

You can't have it both ways, she remembers Polyam saying, steel in her eye, sorrow between tight lips.

But Daja has battled fire and pirates, death and magic and everything strung along between. She can taste the salt on her lips, the years that have gone.

It is a matter of both, she thinks, spotting the tail of the caravan meandering along the road ahead. Because there is no space--in her heart, her life, her dreams--for either.

[Kris11]

I really liked this. The descriptions were lovely: 'the story of her life told between grain and whorl'; 'steel in her eye, sorrow between tight lips'; 'She can taste the salt on her lips, the years that have gone'. Just really vivid wording that gave such a sense of emotion as well of physical description.

I read this a few times and am not quite sure when it is set, and what decision Daja is making here, but the weight of the history and that torn feeling she has speaks for itself. I really liked the language and the feel of this one.

[Tamari]

This is lovely. Your words are lyrical and your descriptions are vivid.

(I feel like I'm just quoting Kris. )


My favorite part was your third paragraph, which I adore: But Daja has battled fire and pirates, death and magic and everything strung along between. She can taste the salt on her lips, the years that have gone. The rhythm of "fire and pirates, death and magic" is wonderful.

This is an amazing Daja, too, even through such a short fic.

[wordy]

Thanks Kris!  And Tamari!

I didn't have any particular time in mind, except that it's after FitF, obviously, for Daja to have met Polyam. The decision is more or less the idea that Daja can't be both Trader and mage/what she is in the books. Which she obviously thinks is rubbish. And she can't accept that, because she can't choose between one or the other, they're both part of her.

[max]

This was very beautiful, my goodness. Perfect characterisation!