|
|
Post by Fenella on Mar 24, 2009 19:07:20 GMT 10
Title: Colours
Rating: G
Prompt: Colours
Summary: Lerant takes time to notice.
It's the unexpected flashes of colour that catch his attention. The crimson red on the underside of a bird's wing, otherwise black; an unexpected orange moon in the late summer sky.
One grey winter day, a blue silk shirt flaps sharply, defiantly in the wind. The sudden surprise makes Lerant’s breath hitch, his mouth curling into a slow smile, and he peers curiously from underneath long lashes, wondering if it makes anyone else feel the same unreasonable joy.
Lerant is startled when Keladry’s eyes meet his own, her weather-worn lips pale and parted in thought, her gaze unusually direct. The green flecks in her eyes, a soft brown, hold Lerant’s interest beyond the usual, momentary satisfaction and he knows that eventually, they will be his undoing.
|
|
|
|
Post by samantha on Mar 24, 2009 19:20:57 GMT 10
I am just in awe of the way you craft words together so beautifully.
|
|
|
|
Post by Katty on Mar 24, 2009 19:42:16 GMT 10
Oh Fen, beautiful job  ETA: Could you please stick the title/rating/prompt in as per the forum rules? thanks |
|
|
|
Post by ubiquitous on Mar 24, 2009 22:34:33 GMT 10
Wonderful ficlet!  |
|
|
|
Post by Fenella on Mar 25, 2009 5:35:12 GMT 10
Haha, sorry Kat, that was awkward of me.
Thanks guys!
|
|
rainstormamaya
Soldier
Helps Kat get her Conte fix
~best known as May~
Posts: 752
|
Post by rainstormamaya on Mar 25, 2009 7:17:46 GMT 10
Ooh, I love the colours and descriptions, and the way Lerant suddenly catches Kel's eye.
|
|
|
|
Post by girlcalledsun on Mar 25, 2009 7:34:23 GMT 10
I can do no more than stand in awe and say - that was perfect.
|
|
|
|
Post by Lisa on Mar 26, 2009 6:41:53 GMT 10
You know, I think you're going to make a Kel/Lerant (die-hard) fan out of me one of these days.
Beautiful!
|
|
Imogen
Probationer Page
Posts: 100
|
Post by Imogen on Mar 26, 2009 12:06:55 GMT 10
'The crimson red on the underside of a bird's wing, otherwise black'
That was my favourite bit.
No, maybe this:
'The sudden surprise makes Lerant’s breath hitch, his mouth curling into a slow smile, and he peers curiously from underneath long lashes, wondering if it makes anyone else feel the same unreasonable joy.'
Lovely writing.
|
|
Serenity
Page
The status is not quo.
Posts: 317
|
Post by Serenity on Mar 28, 2009 17:24:03 GMT 10
There's something poetic about the quality of your writing. My own breath caught when I read this, it was so unexpectedly bittersweet. I love the way you take simple descriptions, and turn them into something more. I may have to start shipping them after this.
|
|
|
|
Post by k4writer02 on Mar 30, 2009 6:58:42 GMT 10
I really liked that eye contact said so much in this interaction. It's also a really interesting take on Kel and Lerant!
|
|
Maybe once we'd have seen it during Smackdown!