aurorax
Queen's Rider
Captain Crazy
Drabbling Away!
Posts: 507
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Post by aurorax on Aug 17, 2009 2:23:33 GMT 10
Title: Approval
Rating: PG
Prompt: #9, Two of a Kind
Word Count: 100
A/N: Run-on sentence alert! I decided to try writing a one-sentence prompt but still making it 100 words. It's another Jon/Thayet- Jon realizes that Buri and Thayet are a package deal, and earning Thayet's love isn't his biggest challenge...
Jon hesitated a single moment (he had wanted to spend time alone with Alanna’s princess, to discover the reason her beauty was laced with tragedy and why, for every word she spoke, there were hundreds of others left unsaid) before extending the invitation to her young guard- they had put one another back together when their whole world fell apart, Thayet and Buri, and he suddenly realized that of all the reasons which might exist for being a good man and a good King, simply to earn that look of approval from the fierce K’miri girl would always be his.
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Post by Rosie on Aug 17, 2009 5:46:42 GMT 10
I love this! The relationship between Thayet and Buri always fascinates and interests me, so it's nice to get a glimpse of Jon being conscious of it here. I also think it's great that he thinks of Thayet as "Alanna's princess".
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aurorax
Queen's Rider
Captain Crazy
Drabbling Away!
Posts: 507
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Post by aurorax on Aug 17, 2009 10:09:07 GMT 10
Thanks! I love Buri and Thayet together, it always seems as if they could do anything.
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Post by ubiquitous on Aug 17, 2009 10:18:58 GMT 10
Ooh, nicely done! I adore the way you've written Jon.  |
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Post by greenie on Aug 17, 2009 10:24:14 GMT 10
Aww, I love this! I think you pulled the one sentence thing off well. I had to read it through a couple of times to fully get it, but I think that's good because it shows how much you managed to pack into such a small space. Also, I love how you described them as a 'package deal' in the summary, it's so true!  |
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Post by Verasque on Aug 17, 2009 12:05:55 GMT 10
Jon always was a smart cookie  The run-on sentence worked well and flowed, just the way it should have. It was reflective, poignant and altogether lovely |
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Post by pineappleyness on Aug 17, 2009 12:21:31 GMT 10
Wow, that's really good! Having it all in one sentence sort of boggled my mind the first time I read it, but it's a cool idea. Completely off topic, but the one sentence thing reminds me of this: Her Majesty Victoria, Queen of the United Kingdom, of Great Britain and Ireland regarding with Her Royal favour the Native Chiefs and Tribes in New Zealand, and anxious to protect their just rights and property, and to secure to them the enjoyment of peace and good order, has deemed it necessary in consequence of the great number of Her Majesty's subjects who have already settled in New Zealand, and the rapid extension of emigration both from Europe and Australia which is still in progress, to constitute and appoint a functionary properly authorised to treat with the Aborigines of New Zealand for the recognition of Her Majesty's sovereign authority over the whole or any part of those islands - Her Majesty, therefore, being desirous to establish a settled form of Civil Government with a view to avert the evil consequences which must result from the absence of the necessary laws and institutions, alike to the native population and to Her subjects, has been graciously pleased to empower and authorise me, William Hobson, a captain in Her Majesty's Royal Navy, Consul and Lieutenant-Governor of such parts of New Zealand as may be or hereafter shall be ceded to Her Majesty, to invite the Confederate and Independent Chiefs of New Zealand to concur in the following Articles and Conditions; It's the preamble to the Treaty of Waitangi, and the whole thing is in one sentence. My lecturer made me read the whole thing out in class.  |
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aurorax
Queen's Rider
Captain Crazy
Drabbling Away!
Posts: 507
|
Post by aurorax on Aug 19, 2009 0:33:23 GMT 10
Thanks everyone! It was an interesting experiment, though I think it just made things unnecessarily confusing and defeated the purpose of limiting yourself to one sentence so each word has so much weight.
Wow, that sentence totally puts mine to shame, but seriously who thought that that would be a good idea? Punctuation is your friend. It must have been *SO* difficult to read out loud.
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The run-on sentence worked well and flowed, just the way it should have. It was reflective, poignant and altogether lovely 
Maybe once we'd have seen it during Smackdown!